Not sure if wife is better off giving up work - after baby

Spendless

halia wrote: »

My salary covers the 4 days of nursery I need for both work and study, due to OH income we dont' get alot of Working fmaileis tax credit but if he earnt less we would get a top up. It is dependant on BOTH of you working 16hrs+ though.

It is the childcare element of tax credits (eg help towards your childcare costs) that is dependant on both of you working at least 16 hours.

JillD_2

You are being very sensible. When we looked at our finanace when buying our house, we looked at ,y salary and decided could we afford it if I only earned half so I could go part time if we had kids.
Totally forgot to account for childcar costs which as yousay are dear.
We are on baby number 3 now, the others are 4 and 2, childcar has cost us a fortune. We've had to make loads of cutbacks but we've done it.

My job is in IT and we agreed that whilst now I dont bring home much after childcare, it is enough to make the difference, plus it means when they are all at school any money I earn will be a bonus for treats, new stuff, and holidays. I couldnt take a career break as in IT I wouldnt get back in.

I agree with whoever said try and live now as if you were on one salary and save the rest That way youwill find out if you can do it or not.

Good luck making your decision, its a tough one and doesnt get any easier when the children are here either.

Savvy_Sue

JillD wrote: »

My job is in IT and we agreed that whilst now I dont bring home much after childcare, it is enough to make the difference, plus it means when they are all at school any money I earn will be a bonus for treats, new stuff, and holidays.

You see, I've never understood this "I don't make a lot after childcare" reasoning, surely if they are HIS children as well, and it's a joint decision for mum to go back to work, then the childcare could come out of HIS salary and anything you earn is then a bonus rather than seen as 'pin money'?

Some of us mums, for our own sanity, need to escape from our children, and if our beloved partners love us enough to accept this, surely they won't mind footing the bill?

For the OP, think about what your wife WANTS to do. She may change her mind after the birth (it's a woman's prerogative!) but apart from quality childcare, having children doesn't have to be as expensive as the magazines make out!

Spendless

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

You see, I've never understood this "I don't make a lot after childcare" reasoning, surely if they are HIS children as well, and it's a joint decision for mum to go back to work, then the childcare could come out of HIS salary and anything you earn is then a bonus rather than seen as 'pin money'?

Some of us mums, for our own sanity, need to escape from our children, and if our beloved partners love us enough to accept this, surely they won't mind footing the bill?

We don't have 'his' and 'hers' money therefore it doesn't matter which 'wage' packet childcare expenses etc come out of, it's what we are left with as a net family household income that decides whether it is worth the lower wage earner working.

JillD_2

We don't have his and hers money either for the record!!!

There was never any decision whether it would be him or me who would go part time/not work, he earns more than I do so to sacrifice a chucnk of his salary would be not the best financial decision ever, and anyway I want to go part time, he doesn't. We discussed this before we had children and he said he wouldn;t want to stay at home with them, which is fine with me.

So when I say it comes out of my money I mean it comes out of the part of our joint income that is earned by me being in paid work. The paid childcare is needed due to me being in paid work therefore its an easy correlation to make.

The extra I earn over the childcare costs certainly isn't pin money, it goes into the joint pot for mortgage, bills, food and children's clothes.

The initial discussion was about it being financially viable for a wife/mother to work/not, this is why I draw a link between the my earnings and the cost of my childcare provision.

Fizog

I was told once that if you wait till you can afford children you will never have them! Wise words...those of us with kids know to our cost. Wouldn't be without them though. I have a friend who is childless and has two, three holidays a year..weekends away, dinners out, theatre trips, I know she would swap them all for a child...despite the headaches and crises I seem to lurch through, the lack of sleep, stress, nagging and mine are 17 and 13! You will need childcare for such a short time... you manage some how...you don't have holidays or beauty treatments, nights out or impulse buys..you learn to really budget and suddenly they're grown and you have grey hair.
If you can stay at home when they are really small or work part time you will probably have very little left in your pay packet but they will go to school and maybe you could find work in a school, the hours are child friendly and solves the problem of holidays.

Elle00

Hi OP,

I suspect when you say you're on a good wage you mean more than £16kpa? In which case you will not be eligible for much assistance because you don't genuinely need it; everyone is entitled to £940pa Child Benefit and a small payment of Child Tax Credits if they earn less than £66kpa in the first year and £58kpa thereafter though.

I'm a lone parent to one toddler and all the elements of my Tax Credits put together pay for my childcare. We then have £15,400pa to live on from Child Benefit and my salary and that has to pay for £8600pa rent and council tax before anything else! With two parent families that earn less than around £16kpa, as long as they are working more than 16hrs each or one is doing more than 30hrs in a week they will get their income topped up with substantial Tax Credits too to put them at around £19kpa.

I think a lot of people find it hard to understand that whilst they may have become accustomed to a certain standard of living, the government only says people are entitled to live at or just above the poverty line which basically involves no holidays, buying your clothes from carboot, ebay and supermarkets and rarely being able to afford a night out! If you are happy to live at this level then absolutely anyone can afford to have kids with one parent staying home (whether a two or one parent family). If you feel unable to lower your standard of living (which I appreciate some people just don't want to do) then that is where affordability can become a big issue.

With regards to the financial ins and outs for you specifically, I would recommend you firstly check out the cost of childcare in your area via: http://www.childcarelink.gov.uk/index.asp Note that childminders are nearly always considerably cheaper than nurseries though harder to reserve a place with. This will enable you to work out exactly what your wife would "technically" be working for if it is that she would otherwise stay home.

Childcare is only a huge expense in the short-term remember so it may be worth your wife staying at home or working part-time for the first few years for the sake of quality of family life versus financial sacrifices. I work because of the esteem and purpose it gives me and also, I'll be better off when my child is at school (or get into affordable accommodation!). My point is basically that there are more things to consider in working than just the money and it may be your wife has the baby then feels trapped and isolated at home alone all day like I did and two of my friends did.

This could be a real source of conflict after the baby arrives bearing in mind it is a very emotional experience to go through and that no new Mother can really know how she will feel until it has actually happened. You're really sensible to be planning ahead like this but please do allow for your wife to feel differently after the birth and try to make slightly flexible plans. Maybe your wife will be one of those that just sails through pregnancy and adapts to being a Mum just like that; but you just never know.

Good luck with getting pregnant And remember that although having a child is really expensive and you hear people like me grumbling from time to time that we have no money to ever do anything nice, where there's a will there's also usually a way. If I really want something I can find the money for a cheap version of it and my son has never had to go without necessaries like toys and books and occasional jaunts to the swimming pool. We love each other dearly and even when we've had the hardest of hard days we nearly always have a special half hour story time before bed that makes the whole thing seem worthwhile. He's just so damn cute and affectionate at story time and trust me when I say you won't believe how much you can love someone until you become a parent.

becky004

I am a lone parent (10yr old and 4 yr old) working full time, my annual take home pay is 18600, annual childcare costs 5900, anual mortgage 10800 (ex-partner but joint owner pays nothing), council tax 1000 annual. Child tax credit 2880, hence with every day bills the figures don't work and i'm just about to lose my home. Be careful to budget for all eventualities!!