Achieving their best!

stebiz

I was reading an article a few weeks back about people excelling in something, not because they are born with a talent but because of the sheer hard work and practice put in.

Ok I agree there are exceptions but lets say that I put in 40 hours a week into golf it is only natural to expect me to be good at it within a few years - probably even win some local competitions etc.

You might ask what I'm rambling on about. All through my life I've started certain things and then started others. I've never really stayed with anything throughout and therefore I've not really excelled in anything.

Recently I was talking to my little boy suggesting that he should up his interest in football. He does 2 practice sessions and a match a week. I was suggesting he may like to add another practice session.

His cousins aren't naturally talented but both do about 5 days a week swimming and win many competitions. They enjoy it and the glory with it.

I guess I'm asking if anybody has put so much time into something that they've become good and is it 'healthy' to push the kids in the right direction.

I remember about 10 years ago doing some maths papers (over 200) with my daughter. She started with 50%. By the time her exam came her teacher was disappointed that she got 98%. This isn't because she was good but sheer practice.

All I'm saying is that if a child encouraged to study, learn a violin, play football, whatever. Is it a good thing or is it putting pressure on them?

balletshoes

encouragement is great, i'm all for that.
forcing or pushing them into something when they don't want to do it, especially when it comes to sports or pastimes, is too far in my opinion - you run a real risk of them losing the fun aspect altogether.
I think education is a different kettle of fish - practice definitely helps there, and kids should be pushed a little if they need it, to practice more (in short bursts, not for hours at a time).

stebiz

balletshoes wrote: »

encouragement is great, i'm all for that.
forcing or pushing them into something when they don't want to do it, especially when it comes to sports or pastimes, is too far in my opinion - you run a real risk of them losing the fun aspect altogether.
I think education is a different kettle of fish - practice definitely helps there, and kids should be pushed a little if they need it, to practice more (in short bursts, not for hours at a time).

You see this is where I agree. The problem is you'll never see anybody in the Olympics who didn't practice every day, same with football - you name it. So what 'we' are really saying is that their parents didn't care.

CRANKY40

I'd wait until he finds what he likes. I was a bit taken aback when my own small son declared that he hated football. Swimming he loves but he's not good at it....swimming lessons were a fail as the instructor frightened him by shouting. Then he discovered karate. He loves it, goes twice a week, the sensei thinks he's great because he is mad about Japan and in his first competition he won two trophies and in one bout he was fighting a boy that was a good 12 inches taller than him.

Mine goes sailing too, but only because he inherited his father's share of a boat. Maybe talk to your son about what sport he would like to try, and see if he can find his niche.

stebiz

CRANKY40 wrote: »

I'd wait until he finds what he likes. I was a bit taken aback when my own small son declared that he hated football. Swimming he loves but he's not good at it....swimming lessons were a fail as the instructor frightened him by shouting. Then he discovered karate. He loves it, goes twice a week, the sensei thinks he's great because he is mad about Japan and in his first competition he won two trophies and in one bout he was fighting a boy that was a good 12 inches taller than him.

Mine goes sailing too, but only because he inherited his father's share of a boat. Maybe talk to your son about what sport he would like to try, and see if he can find his niche.

Oh no don't get me wrong. He knows what he likes. He goes to training twice a week. Plays for his local team once a week. Plays FIFA 14 God knows how long and has a Season Ticket for his team each Saturday.

balletshoes

stebiz wrote: »

You see this is where I agree. The problem is you'll never see anybody in the Olympics who didn't practice every day, same with football - you name it. So what 'we' are really saying is that their parents didn't care.

not at all - i think if your child has the interest, and the drive, and maintains that, then they won't be opposed to practicing every day to get to the top of their field.

I have 2 examples from experience - my nephew (along with my other 2 nephews) loves football, always has, and when they were all schoolboys they all played in teams. My youngest nephew is about to become an apprentice for a premier league team, he and his parents have sacrificed a lot for him to be able to do this, but the driving force came from him - if at any time in the last 10 years he'd said enough, he didn't want to compete at that level anymore, he didn't want to be at training/playing 5 days a week, his parents would have respected that, and wouldn't have insisted he carried on.

My daughter danced from the age of 4, practiced and passed exams etc, but she was not interested in the competitive aspect of the pastime (festivals, competitions etc) and would only attend those of her own dance school under sufferance. The social and fun aspect of the classes were the driving force for her, and when she was no longer having fun with her friends there, she chose to stop going - and I supported her decision, as I knew she was serious and she had thought about her decision.

Its not at all about parents "not caring" in my opinion, its about parents listening to their children.

VJsmum

They have got to want to do it.

My DDs piano teacher said that we shouldn't have to make her practice, that if she loved it we wouldn't be able to stop her. Unfortunately she didn't love it and stopped after the first grade (although she got a distinction). Now singing and acting she loves and we couldn't stop her if we tried, she is off to drama school in September. Some have questioned why we have "let" her when she is potential Oxbridge material - it would be like stopping an avalanche, even if we wanted to.

My DS adores football, again just can't stop him - he plays in the garden, he trains three times a week, plays matches for his team and his school and is a qualified referee. But some other sports - no way could we get him to do it. He is quite talented at rugby also, but quit the town team as he just didn't like it.

Academia is a different matter though. Practice practice practice all the way - as a lecturer, I can tell you that it works. I had a student this year go from getting 30% or so, to "oh my god I LOVE these questions" and picking up 80% in his exam.

I am currently trying to get my DS to just do a past paper a day, he is doing a couple of GCSEs next week as a year 10. If I can make the point this year, he might pull his finger out a little more next year.

Person_one

stebiz wrote: »

Oh no don't get me wrong. He knows what he likes. He goes to training twice a week. Plays for his local team once a week. Plays FIFA 14 God knows how long and has a Season Ticket for his team each Saturday.

Then give him the opportunity to do more but don't push him into it or you're likely to turn an enjoyable hobby into a hated chore.

peachyprice

It's healthy to encourage them to push themselves if they already have the passion within to want to do well. What isn't healthy is pushing them to go beyond what they want for your own vicarious reasons.

Janepig

They have to have some aptitude first I think, even if they enjoy whatever activity it is. Both my two love swimming for instance, but DS has been much much better at it than DD. DD started athletics last season and discovered she had a knack (and the legs!) for the long jump and has done really well at it, but also discovered a talent for sprinting at the first competition she did when she flew down the track like Forest Gump!! This season she's competing against girls who are older than her and finding it a bit more difficult. DS is able to start at the athletics club next season and I have a feeling he'll be better than DD.

I seem to spend half my life on the road taking the two of them to their various activities and comps but I would never force them into anything, I try very hard not to be pushy, just a bit psycho shouty at the side of the rugby pitch sometimes (I checked with DS first if he minded me cheering him on!). The athletics parents scare me most - some of them have done it themselves when they were younger and they're timing their own children, going on about headwinds, etc... these are kids who are still in primary school!!

Jx

Caroline_a

The general theory is that it takes 10,000 hours to make a top athlete. If you want your children to be good at sports they need to be allowed to be active, preferably guided in structured activities (gymnastics, basic multi-event athletics, etc) as well as unstructured play. Good coaches will guide in proper movement patterns which will help to avoid injury.

However, the enthusiasm has to come from the child. Sport training is hard work, and relentless. Tall kids will find it easy to excel, but as time goes on slower growing kids will catch up and then it will be about who trains hardest - talent is often a direct consequence of sheer hard work as opposed to innate skill.