Rehoming our dogs

Crisp_£_note

We are considering rehoming one if not both of our 2 dogs. I am heartbroken by the idea but with the aggression becoming uncontrolable at mealtimes and not being able to afford behaviourist training (as advised by vet) we see no alternative. My husband has just begun his seasonal job for this year which will run until November. Meaning a lot of the time I am now home alone with the dogs.

He's only been out 2 days and on both occasions I have been confined to one room as the 1 of the dogs has been 'guarding' their food and the other just wants to eat it. Thank heaven there is a baby gate or a door in-between or fur would be flying and maybe worse.

I got bitten by one of the dogs last year which I do believe was partly my fault to blame as he wouldn't come out of the bathroom and I needed to use it.

Yesterday it was so bad my husband came and got the dog and took him back to work with him and it had to stay in the car. Not something either of us would agree with but there was little choice. It just so happend he rang me to say hello and sensed there was something wrong other than the fact he could hear a dog fight (through a baby gate) going on in the background. It just so happens he was working at a local event but a lot of the time he is away from home so this isnt at all the answer or practical. I worried he would lose his job over this yesterday but he reassured me his 'boss' was ok with allowing him to come to the rescue as it was obviously needed. He literaly came home gave me a reassuring hug got the dog and his suitcase (bowl and water) took him out back to work with him no time to stop. Leaving me distraught as to what to do.

I really dont know what to do. Even my mother in law feels it's got too much and for the dogs welfare and ours rehoming is the answer. Yes she is an animal lover. To me though always having dogs, cats etc myself and keeping them till their end of life this scenario really is unthinkable I feel a failure. I know I cannot cope I admit it and yet we simply cant afford the help we need with the situation either.

Asking me to choose between which dog goes and which dog stays is tearing me apart. I cant choose. In honestly I would prefer they both be rehomed separately (as its now evident they dont get along and need to be an only dog)

To put this into some kind of perspective our dogs are like our children as we are unable to conceive. Yes we know they are dogs and not humans and so that is how we see and treat them with the respect to be dogs. So asking us to choose who we 'throw out' and who 'stays with us' is almost unnacceptable behaviour.

We recognise its for the dogs best interests as well as ours but none the less we realise we worry about their future and our faillure to provide a happy old age for them (they are 8 - 9 now).

Is there anyone who can offer assistance at re-homing them with dog lovers who have the time to allow us to keep in touch with them? Or anywhere who maybe able to provide the much needed rehabilitation in behavioural issues we need free?

Thank you for understanding this is causing us (me in particular) much anxiety and stress right now we are devastated and distraughtly anxious.

catkins

I'm no dog expert but I didn't want to ignore your post.


Firstly could you let us know what breed your dogs are and what sex (am assuming 2 males but could be wrong). Also do they only fight over food?


I see they are 8 and 9 - have you always had them and, if so, have they only just started fighting?

Carfal

Is the dog which bit you last year the same one that your husband had to remove from the house? If so, why are you considering re-homing the other one?

krlyr

Can you really not afford a behaviourist - not even one session? If the dogs are insured, you can get behavioural treatment covered on that with many policies. But even if you have to pay yourself, one session is often all that's needed. A thorough assessment will allow a good behaviourist to come up with a plan that you can then follow at home, and most offer some form of backup - a re-visit included in the price, or telephone/email support with your plan.

Tiddlywinks

Here's the previous threads:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4829217

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4700913

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4453515

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3970943

It's been a slow decline in behaviour.

OP - what does the vet say (other than recommend a behaviour assessment).

Tiddlywinks

krlyr wrote: »

Can you really not afford a behaviourist - not even one session? If the dogs are insured, you can get behavioural treatment covered on that with many policies. But even if you have to pay yourself, one session is often all that's needed. A thorough assessment will allow a good behaviourist to come up with a plan that you can then follow at home, and most offer some form of backup - a re-visit included in the price, or telephone/email support with your plan.

I agree with this... I'd get rid of Sky and holidays etc before getting rid of a beloved pet... all things the OP still apparently has from her other posts.

Realistically, who will want to take on an older dog with 'issues'... the poor thing deserves some help not just being moved on.

Beetlemama

My husband said the most relevant thing I had ever heard shortly after we first met, when he was speaking about pets he had had, he said, basically:

What happens when you stay in a bad relationship? Who is happy? Neither of you, but if you end it, you can go out in the world and find someone who is perfect for you and so can your old partner, and you think - I can't believe I stayed that long. That's how it should be with pets, if you're not a good fit, no one is happy, but out there is the perfect home where they will fill a void and be loved forever, and you can find someone else that you love and will love you back. If it's not working for you and no one's happy, "split up", find someone that they fit with and find yourself another love. You owe it to them to make them happy, you're the only one with the choice.


I have never heard anything so sensible my whole life, I always assumed my responsibility of an animal was forever, enduring my fair share of little creatures, mice, fish, rabbits, that I kept because I felt responsible for them, when I should have found them a home where someone really really loved them. When our son got bored of his guinea pigs, we rehomed them with another little girl, who still talks about them all the time.

Don't feel bad rehoming them, they'll have a chance to find a home where they're happy too.

krlyr

Beetlemama wrote: »

My husband said the most relevant thing I had ever heard shortly after we first met, when he was speaking about pets he had had, he said, basically:

What happens when you stay in a bad relationship? Who is happy? Neither of you, but if you end it, you can go out in the world and find someone who is perfect for you and so can your old partner, and you think - I can't believe I stayed that long. That's how it should be with pets, if you're not a good fit, no one is happy, but out there is the perfect home where they will fill a void and be loved forever, and you can find someone else that you love and will love you back. If it's not working for you and no one's happy, "split up", find someone that they fit with and find yourself another love. You owe it to them to make them happy, you're the only one with the choice.


I have never heard anything so sensible my whole life, I always assumed my responsibility of an animal was forever, enduring my fair share of little creatures, mice, fish, rabbits, that I kept because I felt responsible for them, when I should have found them a home where someone really really loved them. When our son got bored of his guinea pigs, we rehomed them with another little girl, who still talks about them all the time.

Don't feel bad rehoming them, they'll have a chance to find a home where they're happy too.

But people can go out and find themselves a happy relationship. And people can manage being single if that relationship can't be found at that moment in time.

There are so many dogs in rescues with no issues whatsoever. That makes it hard to find a good home for those with issues, however managable.

Yes, if OP really can't cope, rehoming the dogs is likely best all round. But they should be realistic about how easy/hard it will be to find a "perfect" home for a dog.

If the resource guarding is the only problem, this can be addressed. To use your relationship analogy, it'd be a bit like divorcing your partner because they've moved to nightshifts and your relationship is suffering for it. It might not be as quick a fix as changing jobs - nightwork might be essential to afford the mortgage - but it may not be a permanent issue and you could look at ways to either manage for a while until things change, or come up with an alternative solution.

catkins

Beetlemama wrote: »

My husband said the most relevant thing I had ever heard shortly after we first met, when he was speaking about pets he had had, he said, basically:

What happens when you stay in a bad relationship? Who is happy? Neither of you, but if you end it, you can go out in the world and find someone who is perfect for you and so can your old partner, and you think - I can't believe I stayed that long. That's how it should be with pets, if you're not a good fit, no one is happy, but out there is the perfect home where they will fill a void and be loved forever, and you can find someone else that you love and will love you back. If it's not working for you and no one's happy, "split up", find someone that they fit with and find yourself another love. You owe it to them to make them happy, you're the only one with the choice.

I have never heard anything so sensible my whole life, I always assumed my responsibility of an animal was forever, enduring my fair share of little creatures, mice, fish, rabbits, that I kept because I felt responsible for them, when I should have found them a home where someone really really loved them. When our son got bored of his guinea pigs, we rehomed them with another little girl, who still talks about them all the time.

Don't feel bad rehoming them, they'll have a chance to find a home where they're happy too.

Well sorry but I think your husband is talking absolute rubbish. Ok you may get a dog who bites you or a child and then, yes of course, the best thing to do is to rehome but otherwise then I believe pets ARE for life. Anyone who does not think that should not get any pet. Sound like your husband got animals and then, for whatever reason, had a change of mind and got rid of them. His remark is obviously his excuse for doing so


You are also being incredibly naïve if you think "they'll have a chance to find a home where they're happy too". Do you know how many dogs are in rescues in this country? Do you know how many are pts EVERY DAY because they are not enough homes? Also these dogs are 8 and 9 so even harder to rehome.



It may well be that the OP may end up having to rehome one of the dogs BUT there are hopefully some options before she has to go down that route and most people on here will try and help her with those.

Tiddlywinks

Crisp_£_note wrote: »

We recognise its for the dogs best interests as well as ours but none the less we realise we worry about their future and our faillure to provide a happy old age for them (they are 8 - 9 now).

Is there anyone who can offer assistance at re-homing them with dog lovers who have the time to allow us to keep in touch with them? Or anywhere who maybe able to provide the much needed rehabilitation in behavioural issues we need free?

Firstly, how old are the dogs... In February 2013 you said they were 9 & 10:

Crisp_£_note wrote: »

Hi we have 2 dogs (Male Greyhound x Salukie coming up to aged 9 in Oct & Male Lurcher x Collie coming up to aged 10 in October).

The reality is that there is very little chance of them being re-homed at that age... Especially with behavioural problems.

These problems have been ongoing (getting progressively worse) over the years you've been posting on here.

In that time you've asked about Sky packages and holiday deals so I can't understand why you've prioritised 'entertainment' over animal care.

I honestly feel that, from your posts over the years, dogs (perhaps animals) are not for you.

This one is a prime example:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4888803

rising_from_the_ashes

I'm sorry but I don't understand why you're confined to a room during the day when a dog / the dogs are guarding their food


They must surely be fed once or twice a day, the food / bowls removed and that's it .....


Is it only food aggression?


If so, it must be possible to come to some sort of workable solution (not easy I know but believe me if I can manage to keep 2 cats separated 24/7 and also the dog happy - you do need to think out the box to work through every possible solution)

Can you not feed one in one room - and the other somewhere else?