Tips welcome on avoiding meal out!!

blackangeluk

I am feeling very very frustrated. A few weeks ago MIL very kindly gave us £1k from her house sale, with which we paid off some money we owed FIL (divorced), she knew what we did with it and also knows that we are a little low on the cash flow - but honestly not the true extent.

It is DS's birthday next week and she has said she would like to take him out for a meal - but she wants us all to go and we quite simply cannot afford it! We have subtley (sp) found out that she would pay for kids but not us, have suggested she takes the kids alone to spend some time with them alone :rolleyes: but she wants us to go. Said we can't afford it and she has responded "why not, you had that money the other week" :eek: Problem is she sees us the way everyone else does, good jobs, nice house, why can't we afford it.

Short of telling her how bad things are what do we do? Am feeling so angry/upset/frustrated I could cry which is not a good look at work. I don't particularly want her to know the full details as this is our personal life, but our explanation is not good enough for her and DH's answer is just to go and put it on the CC to avoid any arguments - I don't want to.

Apart from becoming ill on the day what can I do to avoid it?

Helonearth

Perhaps do something the kids would enjoy more than a frumpy meal. Have a day in the park with a picnic and the whole family. Loads of sandwiches and cold drinks, a blanket and a few outdoor games. Great fun!

newlywed

Get the kids to beg her to go to McDonalds

Go on a wheat free, dairy free diet for your health -cuts out loads of restaurant options

findingmyownway

tell her a very important meeting / dinner with clients has come up with OHs work (or yours) and she would be doing you a HUGE favour if she would take the kids out on her own and let you two go to it in peace

either that or book somewhere that does childrens meals free with every paying adult and then when she pays for theirs you get to eat too!

lynzpower

Why dont you jsut tell her the truth? Most people have debts - jsut say, we are sorting ourselves out for now, we'll be sorted fairly quickly etc and just explain.


I dont think secrecy is good in families, its just so divisive.

blackangeluk

newlywed wrote: »

Get the kids to beg her to go to McDonalds

Go on a wheat free, dairy free diet for your health -cuts out loads of restaurant options

:rotfl::rotfl: :rotfl:

blackangeluk

lynzpower wrote: »

Why dont you jsut tell her the truth? Most people have debts - jsut say, we are sorting ourselves out for now, we'll be sorted fairly quickly etc and just explain.


I dont think secrecy is good in families, its just so divisive.

I agree secrecy is not good but we have told her a little of our problems just not the whole lot! Our excuse for the meal was "we have a lot of outgoings at the moment and cannot afford it" but it doesn't seem to have worked.

I may have to try the woman's touch and ring her up myself and explain, may even suggest we have tea at her house instead as the kids are more free to run around then as well - DS is not good at being sat in a restaurant - finds it far more fun to go and talk to people instead!

silkglade

Hi angel

It can be soooo frustrating at times, so many people that do not understand the task at hand or have not yet had their Lightbulb moment. :mad:

Another thing you could try is saying to your mil that you would be really grateful if SHE took the kids for a meal out on her own as YOU would like to do something really nice for hubby as a supprise (cook a romantic meal at home ect) being as you are both working and could do with a little US time.

Just gives you a different approach and then she may think that was the reason behind saying you could not afford it :T

Weefeet

Hi

This is no help whatsoever but I jsut wanted to say that I sympathise. Hubby and I earn over £40k between us and most of it goes out on paying debt and keeping the roof over our heads. People seem to think that because we earn a lot and own our own house, we have a never ending supply of cash!

I am so sick of telling people that I can't do stuff socially because I'm skint.

Hope you get a solution!

Weefeet

Hi

This is no help whatsoever but I just wanted to say that I totally sympathise. Hubby and I earn over £40k between us and most of it goes out on paying debt and keeping the roof over our heads. People seem to think that because we earn a lot and own our own house, we have a never ending supply of cash! We had to take mortgage payment breaks just to be able to attend family weddings and it broke my heart to do that.

I am so sick of telling people that I can't do stuff socially because I'm skint.

Hope you get a solution!

Seaxwyn

blackangel, I think your best options are either to be completley honest with her - or to go for the meal and accept it means postponing your debt free date by a month or so.

Putting myself in her shoes, I would be hurt if you seemed to be trying to avoid the meal for no good reason. She may not comprehend the scale of your debt and be thinking that the 1k she gave you has left you quite comfortable.