Time to get off life's treadmill

going_nowhere_fast

I need help from all you lovely guys on MSE. I'm a lurker, been snooping on this site for a very long time, did join then had never ending problems with email/t'internet so I'm starting over.

Little bit about me. I'm a single mother, working in a clerical position not earning a great deal, in debt, living in the cess pit of the local area! On paper I am a Daily Mail stereotype but it's not actually as bad as it sounds. I absolutely adore being a mother, have an amazing child who brings a smile to my face everyday, own a house (well have a mortgage anyway) but sadly house has devalued since I bought it (but I don't want to think about that...).

I want to create a better life for us. I want to raise my child in a nice area where people don't sit outside their house with cans of beer all day in their pjs, just somewhere normal really would do me and I want financial peace of mind again. Some days it feels like i'm walking on the spot, just never actually getting anywhere towards my goals. I was in a brilliant place financially a few years back but being a single parent it all changed and I want to claw my way back to being in that position again however hard its going to be to get there.

So....that's me. Need some motivation. This site is full of people who are brilliant, why can't I be more like them?

going_nowhere_fast

I don't know how to do an SOA so am just typing it, hope it's ok.

Income
Take home pay - £850
Child benefit - £81
Tax credits - £410
Maintenance - Zero and this will never change, have given CSA up as a bad job.
Total £1341

Assets
House £70,000
Car £1500

Debts (all interest frozen)
CC1 £1177
CC2 £1190
Loan £7315
Total £9682.49

Debt payments
CC1 £13
CC2 £10
Loan £60
Total £83

Outgoings
Mortgage £223
Childcare £160
School dinners £40
Council tax £63
Water £21
Electricity/gas £75
Food/house keeping £200
Washer insurance £7
Life insurance £12
House contents/buildings insurance £43 (can't change till August)
Mobile £20
TV licence £12
Car insurance £55 (can't change till August)
Car piggy bank £50 (for tax, breakdown cover, mot, service, repairs)
Travel costs £160 (physically cannot reduce this)
Optician £10
Dentist Free
Clothing/hair £50
Emergency £20
Window cleaner £6
Christmas £20
Total £1330

I know my insurances are high, I am going to look at getting better deals when they are up for renewal in August have to stick with them till then. Have just started using cash back sites so will go through them as well.

I haven't bought myself clothes for literally years and no matter how much I try to convince myself I just can't bring myself to buy second hand. I would rather have less but it be new. Sorry if this offends anyone, I think it stems from not having new when i was a kid, being the youngest i lived in hand me downs.

I need to factor in to the budget some money for some fun. I know I'm in debt but it's hard not to spend on this area. I don't do or want to do anything grand, just a day to a play centre now and again or the zoo or something. I would really, really, really like to get broadband. With no BT line the cheapest I can find it is £20 a month with Virgin. Am using a dongle and the reception is awful so half the time it doesn't work.

I don't have enough room in my budget to take in to account house maintenance/repairs. £20 just isn't enough - I do need a savings pot for this. I know the only way to start saving is to keep a tight budget but I do think it's something that some people (like me!) need to learn because it doesn't come naturally.

My downfalls are:

Food shopping. Am disciplined at the butchers/fish mongers etc but if I go in to a supermarket I just can't help myself. I go for some milk and bread and come out with a bag of £20 worth of stuff.

The £2.99 dvds always scream at me to buy them.

I hate, hate, hate, hate where i live so i find myself saying yes to invitations or go somewhere ourselves just to get away from where we live. (Already looked in to it, it's not an option to sell up and rent somewhere). This adds up.

I basically need to get a grip with budgeting i suppose....

desert_rose

Been there. You sound very much like me thirty years ago!

I had two children though, living in a less than desirable area, no financial support from their father - no support from anyone really.

Like you, I was desperate to make a better life for myself and my kids and I did. It took time, planning, struggling and sheer determination and I got there through education.

Did a degree, found an entry level position, worked hard, managed a couple of promotions, bought a decent enough house in a reasonable area and now, almost retired, re-married, kids grown, flown and both highly educated with good jobs, houses and spouses.

I feel very, very fortunate.

However, I was determined not to get involved with anyone whilst I was working to improve our lot in life. In my mind, I just couldn't afford any distractions from achieving what I needed to for the future. Once I had met my goals I somehow met my lovely DH!

You have to 'seize the day'. And if you do, you can achieve anything.

I think you know this though.

You come over as one very smart lady!

going_nowhere_fast

You're inspiring. If you dont mind me asking what career path did you choose to go down?

Ive an appointment at a local college in a couple of weeks to discuss what course / qualification might be good for me. Im a good organiser and enjoy the admin side of things so maybe an office manager route might be my best option or hr. Am limited due to childcare and working hours so distance learning is my only real option. Fingers crossed they are good at advising.

I too am determined to remain single until ive achieved my goals but thats the easy bit as i enjoy being a single parent so have no desire to be in a relationship anyway.

Chrysalis1976

Hi and welcome, I'm the same with food shopping even though we do a menu it constantly changes. Some weeks we're great and one meal spreads out over several days, others it's shocking how much we spend. Definitely a big area to look at.

Just looking through your expenses, would it be any more cost effective of your little one had pack lunches instead of school dinners, or is this something you/they would like to keep?

Also just wondered what the travel expenses are, is this fuel?

The gas and elec is quite high for two of you, I pay £83 a month for a family of 4, do you have a smart meter that you could use to keep track.

They are my first thoughts, good luck with your journey.

C x

Divingmad

Hey there,
Welcome to the diaries
Have you done a spending diary to accurately work out what you spend? Also there's loads of threads on here which give ideas on cooking great meals at a lower cost.
I have just started on my debt free journey, so it'll be great to journey along with you.
DM

going_nowhere_fast

Chrysalis1976 wrote: »

Hi and welcome, I'm the same with food shopping even though we do a menu it constantly changes. Some weeks we're great and one meal spreads out over several days, others it's shocking how much we spend. Definitely a big area to look at.

Just looking through your expenses, would it be any more cost effective of your little one had pack lunches instead of school dinners, or is this something you/they would like to keep?

Also just wondered what the travel expenses are, is this fuel?

The gas and elec is quite high for two of you, I pay £83 a month for a family of 4, do you have a smart meter that you could use to keep track.

They are my first thoughts, good luck with your journey.

C x

Food is definately an area I could cut back on. Spent £3 today on my lunch at work, only reason I didn't take my own was because I was rushing. Need to start making sandwiches for work the night before I think. I want to keep school dinners - it's £10 a week and my child loves school dinners, especially the puddings!

Travel is made up of public transport to get to work and fuel to visit family at the weekends and drop my son off on days I work. I can't reduce this.

How do you get hold of a smart meter? I am someone who puts the washing machine on with only half a load but that's because I live in such a small house that if I did a full load it would take ages to dry plus I've no space to dry it all, so I do it just to keep on top of drying the washing to be honest.

going_nowhere_fast

Divingmad wrote: »

Hey there,
Welcome to the diaries
Have you done a spending diary to accurately work out what you spend? Also there's loads of threads on here which give ideas on cooking great meals at a lower cost.
I have just started on my debt free journey, so it'll be great to journey along with you.
DM

Hello there and thanks for dropping in

This month I did a spending diary and to be honest, it was quite scary reading. It's surprising how many £1's here and 50p's there I go through. I did find that my two big areas of overspend were food and entertainment which isn't even on my budget at the moment.

I am a comfort eater - I hate where I live so eat to console myself and to take my mind off things. I said I would stop this but i'm finding it a hard habit to break. I'm used to eating even when I'm not hungry.

I never go out out if you know what I mean but I do spend on child orientated treats which aren't in my budget and I need to stop that. It's an ice cream at the park, a trip to the cinema, a £2.99 dvd, a new story book when doing the supermarket shop - individually it doesn't look much but cumulatively over four weeks it adds up.

Some people on this site are so dedicated, I want to learn to be like them.

I've tried and failed with meal planning so think I might scoot over to the threads on weekly meal plans and food shopping for some inspiration.

Have you a DFD in mind? Mine is about 7 years away and I can't allow that to happen, I need to get my act together because I can't accept that.

Divingmad

Helloooooo again


My intention is to have my debt cleared asap, which will probably be early 2015. I have a few heavy spend months coming up so my finances will be seriously stretched from now til august. After that I will be OK and will be able to throw more at my debts and clear them off.
Have you looked at an extra income as you have a small amount left over each month? I have joined ipsos, valued opinions and a.n.other to complete surveys for cash or vouchers, which pay out when you reach a certain level. I have also become a real voucher vulture and also checking the reduced aisles in the supermarkets first for their foodie bargains.
If you want to reduce your spends, a bit of good advice is not to chop a large amount off first, try spending £5 less on your shop and see whether you really notice the difference. If you don't, keep at this level for a few weeks then drop it again.
DM

going_nowhere_fast

I'll try that idea, reducing by £5 and see if I notice then gradually may a bit more. I wish I could be debt free by 2015!

I've had a look at taking on a second job. Only thing I could think of was typing / data entry work which I could do in the evening when my son is in bed but when i looked in to it it doesn't seem such a good idea. How many hours work you get is unpredictable so you don't know how much you will earn in order to inform tax credits. Once I've deducted tax credits reduction (because of increase income), paid tax and ni and paid for broadband to be able to do it, it just doesn't seem like a very good idea.

I was having a look at the survey section yesterday. How much could I earn from it?

going_nowhere_fast

Question of the day....

How do you stop yourself from spending when you are feeling low....