Elopement dilemma

burnoutbabe

if you are close to your mum and sister and do not tell them in advance, expect them to be very hurt.

Telling them in advance that you are going to elope, due to difficult circs is probably the best thing.

quidsy

We got married overseas then phoned everyone later that day to tell them. No one was overly bothered, once the deed is done it's pretty much too late to get to narked about it.

Why not just have a party after for everyone & tell them then.

Jackie132

Don't be in dilemma as you are doing right. If you still wanna call some guests then call only your few members. Congrats on your upcoming wedding ceremony!!!

runawaybride

hi not much advice im afraid as im in the same situation we are getting marrried in a months time at gretna green and not telling anyone. the plan is to ring imediate family afterwards and kind of make a joke of it to ease the tension. we have planned to have a reception 8 weeks later and the invites will go out as soon as we get home. im hoping people will be so happy that we are married that they'll forgive us. the wedding is just one day the marriage is for life. good luck

WatlingA5

We got married eight years ago after nine years together. The only people we told were the couple next door, both in their 80s, and who were our witnesses. We are not youngsters - let's just say we were WAY over 50 , and none of our parents were still with us. Other relatives live miles away and we didn't want a big fuss (second time around for both), and wanted to avoid the old "why wasn't I invited..." problem.

When the registrar said "We are gathered here..." it was to an assembly of four. Six if you include the two registrars.

All the relatives were happy for us and we had no problems but, to be fair, neither of us has one of those very close-knit families. Oh, and we didn't go abroad, just down the road to the town register office.

cobragirl

Hello everyone, thanks for your replies.
I'll definitely be having a "celebration party" Floss, what a good idea!
Burnoutbabe, I'm not close to my mum and sister. I'm actually closer to my other two sisters but I know they will understand so I'm not worried about telling them! I will be telling everyone, just don't know when or how. (I know it's not an elopement in the true sense of the word).
Thanks Runawaybride, best of luck with yours, hope it's great and everything goes well.
You are a supportive bunch! :-) Thank you

Georgiegirl256

We got married at Gretna Green. Just me and hubby, my Mam and Dad and his Mam. We didn't tell anyone else before hand (although his Mam did insist on telling his brothers) as it wasn't really anyone else's business.

When we told everyone afterwards, everyone seemed happy for us, shocked maybe, but no one said anything negative....at least not to our faces! My Aunty thought it was hilarious! She said she sat there and laughed to herself and thought "good on em!". She's my Dad's sister, and she's as laid back as he is! Same goes for my cousin (who is like a big brother to me) he was all for it, as he's not the marrying type lol!

You've got to do what's best for you and your OH, all the best OP!

MrsC....tobe

We got married out in Italy last year. We initially planned to have the 'big thing' but soon changed our mind as even with our immediate families, grandparents, and only a couple of friends it was hitting 40. And I didn't was to spend thousands on a day for everyone else. We eventually did what we wanted and it was perfect. We had a blessing when we got home for our parents and kids, a total of 14 people including the minister and had a fab day/evening. Exactly what we wanted, no big party, nothing. There's still some family members not talking to me right enough as I didn't throw a
party for them to attend but they'll get over it sometime....

Research fully where and when you'd like to marry. Sometimes going it alone is far more personal than one of the package weddings (we had a friend in Italy that sorted everything for us). The gov.uk website will help you out there with exactly what you need to know for each country.

We had a wedding in the local civil hall (with quite a few friends who were in town for another event we were attending and found out the night before, some had dresses with them for the other event and wore them, others were in shorts and tshirt!) before being driven up the street, stopped at a bar where they bought drinks for us, unique photos in a unique location (we ended up with over 1200 on a pen drive!), more photos in the mountains, a nice meal for 10, and then changed to take part in the other event! Perfect!

clrat25

We got married abroad for exactly the same reasons - I'd lost my Dad, OH had just lost his Mum and neither of us like being centre of attention or posing for pictures. In the end though I did tell a few family members beforehand and there were actually 11 of us in Orlando for the big day. We had an amazing time, really laid back, no fortune spent on outfits, just a simple ceremony performed by a notary and a nice meal afterwards. Everyone back home was delighted for us.

cobragirl

It's good to read everyone's positive experiences; I'm less worried now, thank you :-)