Graduation - Did you go?

[Deleted User]

I didn't attend my graduation ceremony.

I really had no desire to sit in a big hall for hours in order to spend about 10 seconds on stage being handed my certificate. In fact you are not handed anything you just pose with a fake certificate, have a quick photo and then go off to do some more waiting around. Also, as I would have been attending with just my husband he would have been sat on his own for hours too.

So I used the money I would have spent hiring a graduation outfit on a nice present for my husband as a thank you for supporting me through Uni.

I did meet up with everyone later on for a meal with close friends and their family which was really nice.

IrishRose12

I would go, even if I didn't want to. I would go for my mum ( my dad died when I was young) Myself and one other of my siblings are the only ones who haven't been to university, but my mum, has attended every one of the others, as did my dad when he was here. The smiles on their faces and the pride they have is just amazing. The photos are up in my mum's living room of each of them.
Last year the first 2 grandchildren graduated from Uni and she was there, with tears in her eyes watching them receive their degree.
One didn't want to go, but he went for his granny and he still says to this day he had never seen her so happy and proud and was glad he did go as he would remember her on that day for the rest of his life.

I think it's your duty to go for your parents. Whether they've been rubbish parents or not, they have rared you. and they have put and guided you through your education and helped you become the person you are today, you achievements and all. 2-3 hours out of your life really aren't much to ask of you to have them see you receive your degree, and let them have their proud moment. The amount of time and effort they have put into your life since the day and hour you were born, really you could let them have their moment. This is a lot of parents hopes/wishes/dreams for their children, you at least owe them that.

If you don't then yes IMO you are selfish. Sorry to be blunt about it, but you did ask.

tillyenna

I went, as my mam wanted her 'proud' moment - So I turned up, threw the robe on, went to the ceremony and literally took the robe off the minute she'd taken her photos (and was wearing my cheerleading uniform underneath, because THAT is what I spent most of my time doing at uni...)

That being said - it was cool, it was nice to see the friends from my course who I'd not really seen for a few months (I had to do my exams alone) and it was a day off work for me!


My brother did nick my certificate though... but he graduates later this year... so I'm going to do the same to him ;-)

sulkisu

IrishRose12 wrote: »

I would go, even if I didn't want to. I would go for my mum ( my dad died when I was young) Myself and one other of my siblings are the only ones who haven't been to university, but my mum, has attended every one of the others, as did my dad when he was here. The smiles on their faces and the pride they have is just amazing. The photos are up in my mum's living room of each of them.
Last year the first 2 grandchildren graduated from Uni and she was there, with tears in her eyes watching them receive their degree.
One didn't want to go, but he went for his granny and he still says to this day he had never seen her so happy and proud and was glad he did go as he would remember her on that day for the rest of his life.

I think it's your duty to go for your parents. Whether they've been rubbish parents or not, they have rared you. and they have put and guided you through your education and helped you become the person you are today, you achievements and all. 2-3 hours out of your life really aren't much to ask of you to have them see you receive your degree, and let them have their proud moment. The amount of time and effort they have put into your life since the day and hour you were born, really you could let them have their moment. This is a lot of parents hopes/wishes/dreams for their children, you at least owe them that.

If you don't then yes IMO you are selfish. Sorry to be blunt about it, but you did ask.

Really?
We have a duty to our children, not the other way round.

I thought parents raised their children, guided and educated them because they - as parents - chose to have those children and these are the things that any decent parent does. Not to hold it over their children in years to come and say 'you owe me'.
I am raising three sons - for that, they 'owe' me nothing.

pollypenny

I always think it's strange when the graduation ceremony is months later.

Mine, and those of the kids, was at the end of the final year. It seemed a great rounding off of four years of work.

I was a mature student, too, with two little ones. They loved being photographed in the regalia!

Mrs_Soup

I went to the first two but not the other 2/3. I now work in a uni and we tend to think graduation is a lot to do with parents. Most students like it too but its really the parents who get their reward for all the support they have given. So if your parents have supported you and they will behave themselves on the day then I would recommend going along with it, its only one day and it won't hurt you. May even enjoy it.

marywooyeah

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

It's you that sounds bitter about the whole thing. Who cares what anybody else got? You got a 2:1 degree with all the stuff that was going on in your life! I am AIMING for a 2:1, never mind settling for one!

As a more mature student, i know that a 2:1 is very well respected and you should stop dwelling on what could have been and start being proud of your achievement.

Yes I am bitter about it - I've already explained this twice!

I needed a first to be able to progress in my career and didn't get one. That's why it doesn't feel like an achievement to me at all, it feels like I worked so hard and failed. I don't expect anyone else to understand because no one else went through the experience that I did - degrees are very personal and there's no right or wrong way to feel about it.

A degree is very relative to whoever is doing it - someone above said that they would be devastated to get a 2:2, whereas OP has said they would be pleased to get one.

There's no universal rule as to what is a good degree or not. It doesn't mean that one classification is bad and one is good, there are so many factors which affect how people will view their results.

It depends on what you want to do with your degree - some post grad courses and/or careers require a certain grade to progress and other factors such as what subject you are studying and what uni you went to etc.

OP I hope you are feeling a bit clearer as to what you want to do x

LandyAndy

It was a long time ago but, yes, I did go and enjoyed it.


Helped that mine was in an impressive setting, Coventry Cathedral, so it did feel rather special and a fitting end to my time at university.

lostinrates

sulkisu wrote: »

Really?
We have a duty to our children, not the other way round.

I thought parents raised their children, guided and educated them because they - as parents - chose to have those children and these are the things that any decent parent does. Not to hold it over their children in years to come and say 'you owe me'.
I am raising three sons - for that, they 'owe' me nothing.

My parents would not have been able to attend my graduation easily. I'm wondering now if I still owe them by not dragging them to it stamping my feet so I could 'pay them back'


OP I didn't go. I had a good degree, no axe to grind and I was progressing with next stage of life. We had lots of ceremonial crud at school and some stuff I wouldn't miss in the rest of life but an afternoon of it centred on an achievement I had considered well within my scope with people I was still in touch with if I wanted to be didn't strike me as that great use of my time back then. Were my life as quiet as it is now I'd probably want to roll up and go.

barbarawright

If you don't go, do make sure you get sent your certificate. I missed both of mine and didn't get sent a postgrad certificate. Didn't need it for years but when I did, it was quite difficult to chase it up (the institution had changed name for one thing)