Pre-nuptial

property_girl

I wonder if I should have a pre-nuptial agreement. I have a house with about £50000 equity in it, £30000 savings,a pension and no debts. My BF has a house with about £10000 equity, a pension and a car loan and no savings. We are hoping to buy a house together if he can sell his flat. We earn about the same and plan to half the mortgage repayments and split all expenses down the middle. I have always saved since I was 21 and he hasn't saved a penny.
I know it sounds cold hearted but with 1 in 4 marriages ending in divorce I don't want to end up with him walking away with my hard earned money. I do love him but I'm not some star struck kid. Both my parents' parents divorced, my aunt and my uncle divorced not to mention my mum( from her first husband) so divorce is not uncommon in my family. My mum and dad want
me to just live with him .
If I marry him and have a pre-nuptial agreement how much notice will a judge take of that as I know they are not legal in this country.
I just don't know what to do, whether to just live with him or marry him.
Has anyone had a pre-nup agreement and divorced?

jonesMUFCforever

If you move in together as in living together (as opposed to lodger and landlady) then as a common law marriage he will accrue benefits from you anyway.(And you from him)
As you say Pre nuptials are not legal in UK so think carefully and then dump him!

Only joking!
However you could both sign a declaration of assets at the time of moving in stating what is yours and what is his (a factual statement not a pre nuptial) - get it organised properly by a solicitor - a few quid now could save you loads later.

ManAtHome

property_girl wrote: »

I don't want to end up with him walking away with my hard earned money. I do love him

Hmmm, not too sure then - trust is a better basis for marriage (or any relationship) than "lurve"...

Willman_Rodders

Two suggestions:

1. Buy the new property as 'tenants in common' (as opposed to the more usual 'Joint tenants' arrangement) with the split reflecting who contributed what (e.g. your new house costs £200,000, you provide the deposit of £40,000 and you jointly borrow the rest i.e. £160,000. Your contribution is therefore £120,000 (£80,000 mortgage loan plus £40,000 cash introduction)v. your partners/husbands £80,000 mortgage loan. The share is therefore 120:80 or in percentage terms 60:40. At the same time ....
2. Arrange a 'Declaration of trust'. Very similar to ejones999 suggestion this deals specifically with the ownership of the property and supports the property tenancy split. i.e. you buy a property as 'tenants in common' with say a 60:40 split of ownership as per the example above then the 'declaration of trust' reflects that split in a formal, legally binding document.

The 'Declaration of Trust' ranks before the persons wills in terms of asset distribution, and defines who owns what share of the property in the event of relationship breakdown when alive.

If your relationship does break down then you will have 'ringfenced' your share of the property for yourself. As ejones999 states your husband/partner will accrue benefits from you.(And you from him) as soon as you start cohabiting - these are recognised in law ... but at least you have a starting point upon which the asset distribution can be based.

Should you make one? In view of the inequality of asset ownership at the start of the relationship I personally think the answer is yes. I have come across them [occasionally] in my day-to-day working. As I say to partners in business partnerships it's easier to put into place an agreement when the relationship is good; once the relationship turns sour (and with business partnerships they nearly always do) it becomes impossible to get an agreement and the end result is the matter is resolved (at great cost) in the law courts. In my experience the same difficulties apply when a family relationship turns sour.

If the relationship lasts (and we all hope it does) then you can always recind/revoke the trust deed.


The trust document is drawn up by a solicitor. How effective they are I do not know; a divorce lawyer may be able to answer that one.

Alfie_E

Willman_Rodders wrote: »

As ejones999 states your husband/partner will accrue benefits from you.(And you from him) as soon as you start cohabiting - these are recognised in law ... but at least you have a starting point upon which the asset distribution can be based.

But, any benefits will have a completely different basis, depending on whether he’s your husband or just your unmarried partner. The phrase “common law marriage” should never be used. The courts would view you and your boyfriend no differently to any other two unmarried people who were living together. See Cohabitees warned over property rights, which also covers the same points that Willman Rodders explained.

roses

ManAtHome wrote: »

Hmmm, not too sure then - trust is a better basis for marriage (or any relationship) than "lurve"...

Doesn't everyone trust their other half when they get married, even those who end up getting divorced?

property_girl

Of course I trust and love at the moment but as roses said-doesn't everyone when they get married. With statistics as they are , the chances of marriage ending in divorce are high so isn't it as well to be practical. After all, if we do split up it might not be my 'fault' so why should he get everything? My aunt has recently divorced-his 'fault' but he's claiming half her pension unless she signs over the house-how fair is that? They were happy once and could never have envisaged this happening. Although, they didn't have much before they got married it is all very bitter now and so isn't it better to try to sort out stuff beforehand, just in case?

Primrose

I think perhaps the issue here is your different attitudes to money. You say that you have been saving ever since you were 21 and your boyfriend hasn't saved a penny. This suggests that long term financial security and solvency may not be so important to him as it is to you and therefore he might at some time in the future put less importance on aspects of "financial integrity". I hope this isn't the case, but if you do disagree on aspects of money and how you both handle it, NOW is the time to take this into account and protect yourself. I would also watch his reaction very carefully when you suggest a pre-nuptual and if he is against it, discover why. You could also point out that you have bitter experience of marriage break-up within your own family and are taking this experience on board. If he is entirely straighforward and honest, I can see no reason why he wouldn't agree to you ringfencing your own investment if the relationship were to fail. As somebody else has pointed out, it is better to make an agreement when the relationship is in a good state than to try and negotiate from a position of weakness once it is embittered and in tatters. And as for your savings, if you're worried about it being in joint names, try and gradually put some of it into tax protected vehicles like ISAs and National Savings Certificates where these types of savings can only be in the name of the individual investor. Or if your savings move into joint names, ensure that the signatures of both parties are required. Having been married for many years, all our possessions are in joint names but we never had any doubts that the relationship wouldn't last. I think marriages today are not so stable or permanent, so perhaps your caution is wise.

Hapless_2

If you are worried about it, don't get married, if you are querying getting a pre-nup (which have no legal standing in the UK) do you think the marriage will last?
You must have doubts about the idea of marriage otherwise you would not be worried about it.

localhero

Propertygirl, I think you are wise to consider a prenup considering all of the surrounding circumstances and life in general.

Generally they are not binding on the courts, though they will take them into account provided they are reasonable and you have both obtained independent legal advice.

I think before you even contemplate getting married you should live together for at least a year, go on holiday together at least twice, take several day trips together in the car and go shopping together at least a dozen times. If you survive all that unscathed you stand a reasonable chance!

I also feel that before you move in together you should organise exactly who pays for what in terms of household bills and expenses. Call me cynical, clarity is the best policy.

Good luck

Jennifer_Jane

Pre-nups and various different marriage contracts are the norm in many countries and most probably will be here one day. If you lived in one of those countries you would have to have these thoughts. I can't see a problem with getting the declaration or whatever has been recommended above!

If you want to marry, realising that your boyfriend has a very different attitude to money from you and that this will surely cause consternation and unhappiness at some stage, then go for it!