New Start

unsurewhichway

I posted a few months ago now as me and OH were separating. It's taken two months for me to provately rent my own place with DD and we get the keys TOMORROW!!!

Now the ex is laying on the guilt thick and fast asking why I want to break up our family. After nearly a year now of me saying I'm not happy and making no changes whatsoever. I am trying to fight back the guilt as it is of how DD is going to be affected by all this and make sure she is the priority.

Luckily he won't be around this weekend when we move as its his son's birthday so he will be away.

It's a horrible horrible situation and I'm trying to be strong but he is refusing to be civil and we have not managed to sort any child maintenance or dates for him to have her as he gets so aggressive. I am just hoping it gets easier once we are not under the same roof now :-(

marisco_2

I would like to wish you lots of luck as you start out on this new chapter in your life. Stay strong. It comes across clearly that you know you have made the right decision really, and will do your best by your daughter. I hope your ex settles down, and will become more reasonable and approachable soon, so as he can be a really good dad to his little girl.

rl926

My parents split up when I was a teen. It was obviously upsetting at the time but as time has gone by I've realised I'd much rather they separated than my Mum living a life she wasn't happy with. I think you know deep down you are making the right decision and the wounds will eventually heal. Good luck with the future x

DomRavioli

Hi OP,

Couldn't read and run - have you approached the CSA over maintenance; if he is being a bit of a silly bloke then you can do it that way until he gets the message (not ideal I know but he needs to know where he stands and until the emotion has died down it is a possible solution).

I hope the move goes smoothly for you and DD, and you enjoy your new place!

Keep strong, don't give up and you will be fantastic!

BigAunty

How about suggesting some kind of mediation service when it comes to negotiating the child maintenance and access issues?

In your heart, you know he broke up the family with his behaviour, making the relationship untenable and your daughter is now your sole and main priority. It is for her benefit too that she doesn't have to grow up in that previously toxic environment.

He racked up debt and blamed it on you, he did not support you through your pre/post natal depression, he never displayed the warmth and tenderness to your daughter that he showed to his previous child, nor the respect to you that he demonstrates towards his ex.

You mentioned in a historic post that he felt guilty for walking out on his first family so perhaps he is expecting and wanting you to go through the same grinder, even though the circumstances are different.

tayforth

Good luck. You know that you're doing the right thing, keep that in mind and don't look back. Focus on your future and your daughter xxx

unsurewhichway

Thanks all. I fluctuate daily but for now think space apart is the best option, I feel sad but yet a lot calmer generally. Just need to sort my emotions and finances out :-)

Thanks all for listening though. I am sure I will be posting for more help along the way x