Only freedom will do

Alchemilla

Any blog news?

BookWorm

edinburgher wrote: »

Won £250+ on a free slot offer - happy Friday :beer:

:T what a lovely start to the weekend

edinburgher

Any blog news?

Nope, I am fighting against an overpowering wave of lethargy and self doubt. I am struggling to determine whether this is as a result of sleep deprivation, the black dog, or both. It's like my 'brain volume' has been turned down a few notches

I have been hatching a plan to start studying with the aim of re-training as a financial planner, but my confidence is pretty low and has been dented over the last week. I work in an IT environment and do not have the will to 'get ahead' as the basic route of progression is being a loud, self-aggrandising nob.

I worry that I might need these 'skills' to break into financial services at the relatively old age of 32?

Being an introvert is not fun at times.

:T what a lovely start to the weekend

Thanks BW, always a lovely surprise to have a big win :j I gave some to Mrs E, topped up DD's savings account and saved some myself.

Have spent the last week trying to get some financial stuff done despite my current lethargy and have had reasonable success.

• Baby spending diary fully updated
• Regular spending diary fully updated
• Switched broadband from Plu5net to Skay (a few £s a month cheaper, plus £80 cashback and a £50 M&S voucher. Cashback didn't track, have opened a claim with TCB
• £100+ to savings
• Downloaded a new credit report and then cancelled reporting service for no cost
• A few NSDs

Got most of my housework done during the week, so having a relaxing day with Mrs E and (sleeping) DD. We're watching the last Godfather movie tonight and I've started making some oxtail and marrowbone stock for HM pho tomorrow night

Greying_Pilgrim

edinburgher wrote: »

I work in an IT environment and do not have the will to 'get ahead' as the basic route of progression is being a loud, self-aggrandising nob.

Gee, I know what you mean about needing to be thrusting and career orientated, but from a purely 'outsiders' perspective, I'm glad that you're uncomfortable about even considering trying to join 'that' club. Perhaps Pete (MMM) is proof and embodiment that nice chaps can and do get ahead?

If I could ever afford a PFA, would I go for a loud-mouth sales-orientated geezer, or would I go for a straight-talking, considered, well briefed professional, who demonstrated that they had my financial interests at the heart of their advice/decision making....... :think:

Keep going Ed, you're on to something good.

Greying x

chickadee

Mr E, you have been through a life-changing experience, long-awaited, much anticipated and one that you would never have been fully able to prepare yourself. Don't beat yourself up. I know it might sound odd, but you might have post-natal depression. I know you won't have the hormonal issues, but you'll still have the post-life-changing-event issues to deal with. Go easy on yourself for a while. I know that is easier to say than to do when you are sleep-deprived but do try.


I know what you mean about IT being a bit macho. Too many egos in that field unfortunately. I know your energy levels are low at present but don't dismiss your thoughts of retraining in financial planning. It would be a refreshing change to many people to have someone whose ego isn't the size of a small planet helping them. I know it makes my hackles rise when I come across people like that. I encountered a car salesman like that a year or two ago. He didn't listen to my needs or requirements and showed me all of the aspects of the car that were important to HIM, not me, the potential customer. Anyway, he didn't get the sale.


Keep on doing what you are doing. It makes sense.

Alchemilla

Agreeing with chickadee. Sleep deprivation is terrible for MH even with such a joyous cause as Baby Juliet.

I also agree with greying...one of those swaggering types would have me muttering "d i c k w e e d" under my breath.

patanne

Chickadee is right. You have a new adorable but lifechanging (plus a few other things) responsibility. You need to sit back and take a breath before getting involved in more lifechanging events. You need to be totally sure that any change you make is what you really want and not just the outcome of sleep deprivation.

So we'll see you in 15 years when maybe the sleep deprivation MAY have worn off. I feel I should just mention that I still have the odd sleepless night worrying about my 33 yr old. Just think how your parents must be feeling - not just worrying about you but about all those grandchildren they have recently accumulated. There should be a really grinning smiley here but I seem to have mislaid them - baby brain 33 years later!

ajmoney

Hi Ed, whilst I don't pretend to know anything about the joys of parenthood and adjusting, the fact you are aware of your spending and are keeping track of it is surely a good thing. I guess it must be like moving up the property ladder etc in that it takes a few months for the new finances to settle down.

I am also not mentally in the best place to progress with money plans and I am doing a lot less than you with keeping track of everything. I have stopped the money going into savings while a couple of things are being sorted. You are still putting a fair amount away into savings so also take comfort in that. While I know your goal in FI for both you and Mrs Ed and for your daughter but is it the money going into savings that is affecting your money of are you just spending more than your earn? I know you know your stuff so am just putting my thoughts down.

Re the personality for a financial advisor, while many people expect the confrontational type many shy away from that, Mr AJM certainly does. Would you want to work with people who already have money, people who want to turn their lives around so they have some money and can build for a better future or a bit of both? The second option of people (speaking from experience) might want a more approachable person who can most importantly explain in terms that are understood. I have to go to any financial appointments with Mr AJM to help explain things especially when we leave as when he hears big/foreign words the shutters go up and he is not short of money. This is a long-winded way of saying don't write off a career change because you think you have the wrong personality, everyone that wants/needs help has a different personality too and maybe yours is exactly what some people prefer.

In the short term maybe we need to keep reminding each other what we are doing with regards to money until we get our mojo back. (When you find yours could I have a little bit please?)

edinburgher

If I could ever afford a PFA, would I go for a loud-mouth sales-orientated geezer, or would I go for a straight-talking, considered, well briefed professional, who demonstrated that they had my financial interests at the heart of their advice/decision making....... :think:

Thanks Greying, now that I think about it, there must be a lot of people who consider the stereotypical spiv and want to vomit just a little bit! Sometimes when you are surrounded by brash loudmouths, you begin to believe that you are 'wrong' for being different.

I know it might sound odd, but you might have post-natal depression. I know you won't have the hormonal issues, but you'll still have the post-life-changing-event issues to deal with. Go easy on yourself for a while. I know that is easier to say than to do when you are sleep-deprived but do try.

Thank you for that response Chickadee, very detailed and considered. I have heard of male post natal depression, but I'm 99.99% sure I don't have that. I have been battling this on and off since I was an undergraduate student, it had just been absent for quite a long time. When I graduated and realised that I had no career plan, I used to sit around in such a funk that getting out of bed actually felt like a challenge

I also agree with greying...one of those swaggering types would have me muttering "d i c k w e e d" under my breath.

Lol! I agree completely. I suppose my concern is more that financial services is one of those areas where the customer is always wrong? A lot of the people working in that field probably assume, wrongly, that that's what their customers expect. Except we all know that success is not a loud voice and a shiny suit...

I feel I should just mention that I still have the odd sleepless night worrying about my 33 yr old. Just think how your parents must be feeling - not just worrying about you but about all those grandchildren they have recently accumulated.

I have no doubt that's true patanne, they have very big hearts. I will try and follow your advice and step back for a month or two until I can get my head clearer.

I guess it must be like moving up the property ladder etc in that it takes a few months for the new finances to settle down.

That's a really apt comparison AJM, I felt like we were going to be bankrupt by the end of the first month, but by 8 weeks in I realise that it's not actually too expensive to raise a baby

I am also not mentally in the best place to progress with money plans and I am doing a lot less than you with keeping track of everything.

I hope that you feel more like yourself soon. I should point out, however, that you're doing a wee bit less than usual. This is the first time in my adult life that I've bothered my behind to even try and track expenditure etc.

is it the money going into savings that is affecting your money of are you just spending more than your earn?

At this point, neither, we're just being unrealistic about how much we spend. It has been a real eye opener. I have been saving quite aggressively, but aside from boring her by explaining it all, I don't think Mrs E will have felt any change to our quality of life as a result. We have been spending considerably less than we earn, but the baby 'perfect storm' (throws withering glance at self) is about to strike.

Reduced earnings from both Mrs E's maternity and my matched betting (banned at several bookies, no football to bet on and not mentally sharp enough to operate at the appropriate speed required); increased expenses from the baby; me wanting to change careers and needing to increase expenses in that area; me not keeping my wardrobe up to date so looking a bit like a tramp until recent spends.

Would you want to work with people who already have money, people who want to turn their lives around so they have some money and can build for a better future or a bit of both?

Probably both, but the first probably pay more

In the short term maybe we need to keep reminding each other what we are doing with regards to money until we get our mojo back. (When you find yours could I have a little bit please?)

I like it, feel free to help me prioritise and I will courier over some mojo a.s.a.p.!

Goldiegirl

Ah, financial advisors.

I've worked alongside some of the 'in house' types.

In my last few years at the large bank I used to work for, there was a particular one that used to annoy the hell out of me.

He was married to a manager in my section, so he'd generally 'hot desk' near me.

I'd dread it when he was in the office. He never muted the sound on his lap top, and the dinging and pinging emanating from his direction would set my teeth on edge.

But that wasn't the worse thing. Everytime his mobile rang, the person on the other end would ask how he was, and he'd boom 'I'm fantastic'! He was so bumptious, I'd pass the time imagining setting about him with a baseball bat.:rotfl:

Most of the financial advisors were of the same ilk, and there's no way I could have worked with them on my personal finances.

But, you, Ed, strike me as a totally different sort of person - you'd be a breath of fresh air as an adviser.

You always take the time to explain things to people, and do it so clearly.

I reckon you could make a go of it.