Finding this really stressful!!

WickedWitch123

Hi everyone

Hope the sun is shining wherever you are.

I'm spending quite a lot of time completing my form 6.28. I think as well as having to find the information such as account numbers etc I'm finding that its bringing up all sorts of emotions and stress from the past. Its a reminder I guess of what my life has been over the past 5 or so years and just how truly awful its been.

My (our) financial problems began around 2008 but we were kinda managing them. In 2011 hubby decided everything was just too much with debts, new baby, redundancy and illness so he upped and left. To this day he has not acknowledged that he also has a responsibility towards these debts (all joint) so I've been left to deal with it all, as well as bring up 2 children, work and deal with my own emotions around the breakdown of my 20 year marriage. I know it'll be a massive relief when its done but until i've completed the forms and actually declared myself BR I just feel weighed down by it all again.

The decision to go BR is a no-brainer and a huge weight was lifted when i spoke to Stepchange, but I didn't anticipate these feelings and the emotional effect it would have on me.

I'm hoping to make a date for mid May to get it over with as quickly as possible but money-wise i'm not sure if its going to be possible.

Anyway, just wanted to off-load.

WW

Flm67

Well done you for dealing with this yourself. It's not as bad as you think! I done it in 2012 and was discharged in 2013. Although mine wasn't down to personal debts (was a court case that was supposed to be a no brainier that I would win. According to a lawyer and an advocate who cost thousands). Only thing is if it was joint debts they will probably actively pursue your ex. Some would say it was karma!! Chin up and deal with things one at a time and I'm sure your year will fly in.

National_Debtline

Hi WW and good to hear the progress you are making.

Remember that if you absolutely can't find an account or reference number here or there, there's no need to fret. Your worldly debts will all go into the bankruptcy regardless - it just makes the Receiver's job that little bit easier if you can give the full details.

Regards and good luck

Dennis
@natdebtline

woodformoretrees

Hi WW,

I was made bankrupt by a creditor, so I didn't have to fill in these forms before bankruptcy but I have to say that when I had to fill in the forms for the OR it was a real emotional journey. I had to do it over a period of a week as every little thing that I put down had a story behind it that kicked all the emotional crap off again.

If it's any help at all (and of course it won't be, but hey!) once you've filled it all in and been through your first OR meeting there really is a sense of relief and freedom to the whole thing.

I'm sorry you're going through the difficult bit now - but it WILL and DOES get better.

I'm 6 weeks post AD now and my life really does feel like my own now. You'll get there too and it will feel better than you can ever imagine

owlet

Hi WW
Don't give in and try not to stress. I went BR about 6 weeks ago and the hardest part of the whole process (for me) was filling in the forms, so you are almost done. Don't panicif you really can't find an account number, the OR can get what he/she needs as long as you state on the form the accounts you hold.

I had a few dates that I didn't have (of when the accounts were opened) but I just made a few quick phone calls to the companies involved and was able to get the info I needed. Maybe you could try that? Everyone I phoned was really helpful so don't be worried. When I finished the forms, I phoned Step Change and they ran through the forms over the phone with me to make sure I had got them right. Good luck!

WickedWitch123

Thank you for all your replies, theyve made me feel better already. I didn't realise that it was ok not to have some account numbers etc but I will try to get just as many as I can. Thank you for the suggestion to contact them by phone - that hadn't occured to me. Sometimes you can get so bogged down with it that you can forget the simple things.

I also didn't know that Stepchange will go through them with you so thank you for that. It puts my mind at rest to know that at least i can get some advice before the day.

I decided to have a day off from it today and spend the afternoon mowing and tidying the garden. I found it cathartic and hopefully will also mean I get a good nights sleep lol.

Tomorrow I'm going to the section where you have to explain the background to how the debts were incurred. Its going to hard to keep the emotions out of it and stick to the facts. I'll have to do a first draft and then edit edit edit lol.

Thank you all again.

thelionel2000

Hi, Don't get your self to worked up, I went BR I 2013 and done 4 drafts off form 6.28 before it was ready to go to court. As you have said go through the forms with Step Change or like I had a family friend go through the forms with me and sort everything (someone not direct I would say) and like you have done if you get stuck ask someone on her.
Once you have got the forms completed take a look at the things to prepare for on the day, I will try to paste the link for you. I also found it good to go up to the court before the day to see where you have to go and where to park.
Hope this helps.

tigerfeet2006

One very wise poster on here once said that the journey into and through BR was like being on a roller coaster. One minute you're up, one minute you're down, one minute you're going round the bend and the next you're going straight. You're emotions are going to be all over the place but I think in the end as you start coming out the other side you will find that having gone through your history will have been strangely cathartic, a bit like going to therapy , and you will be able to put it all to rest in you're head.

There is an excellent guide for doing the reason for BR bit, I'll see if I can find it for you.

ETA: and I see you've found it :-)
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4895857

macbabypam

Try not to worry too much. Once the forms are completed and you have filed for BR you cam start to look forward and put this all behind you.

Sounds like you have had a really tough time but i would try to look at this as starting the next part of your life with a clean slate. You have taken control of your life financially and the emotional control will follow with time.

Good luck and remember there is loads of support on here to help you either all those little questions about BR that can be a real worry.

ghostfinder

its not that bad honest.

My year flew by

WickedWitch123

Well i've woken up this morning feeling really low. I can't even face looking at the forms today, its just too much to deal with and its making me really weepy, which I thought I was over. Its the final push but I think i've run out of physical and emotional energy.

I think i'm going to ignore it for now and maybe try again next week. I can't afford the fees now anyway so there's no rush.