Still so sad :(

Sandhy

Is this normal grief?
Both of my cats were from the same litter and both died last Summer and Autumn of last year, within a few months of each other aged 17. I know they had a good life with me, full of love, fun and interesting times. I have no recriminations over their final years and those last days of their lives but I am not really getting over it. There was the initial shock as both were quite sudden but that's normal. However, 6 months on I still often get weepy and I keep replaying their last few days in my mind. The only way to cope seems to be to deliberately blank it out. I work and have a busy life so it's not as if I've got too much time to dwell on downward thoughts.
Everyone's different but I should be over the worst now.

puppypants

Have you thought of rehoming a further two kittens? I'm not saying that they would replace your cats, but it would give you another focus. You must have been a fantastic owner for your two oldies to have got to 17!! See it as honouring your previous cats by giving a home to two rescues. This is what I did when I lost my beloved dog just over a year ago. I still think about her, but not with sadness, I remember the good things about her life, and I have someone to share my love and home with once again. Best wishes. xx

Artytarty

I took me about t six months before I began to come to terms with the sudden loss of one of our litter ate cats. Now, just as aim feeling brighter, nine months in, the other one is looking pretty shaky.
It's so hard and I find myself constantly dwelling on it from the moment I wake up.
You are past the worst bit. They have both gone, sadly. I honestly think that you will find things settle in your mind quite soon.
Meanwhile, have a hug.:happylove
Perhaps you will want to give another cat a home, but you and only you will know when it's the right time.

cottage_retreatist

Hey sandhy-I don't know if you have seen my thread on this board as well, my cat died suddenly last week (well after a week of multiple operations) but both me and the OH have been devastated, we cry all the time, everything everywhere reminds me of him and worst of all the only image I can see of him in my head is of the last moment I saw him in the vets, which isn't how I want to remember my vibrant beautiful boy.

It is so difficult but we have already adopted a new kitty, he isn't our last one and he doesn't remove the pain, we didn't want to replace our kitty and we never will but I read a wonderful article online the other day that cats can take place in our hearts and there is room for more than one in there, getting a new one won't dishonour the memory of your lost fur baby.

There are so many out there needing a loving forever home and you sound like you have a lot of love to give, so do think about it if you can. I will always miss my fur baby, and don't be ashamed to cry for them, they were your family.

I am going to get something when I can to honour him in our home-a little statue or something so his memory can always be close and I have stored all his photos and videos in one place where we can look at them if we want to. I also wrote mine a letter, it got out all the raw emotions I was feeling and is a place where I can go to remember all those things about him if they ever start to fade.

I hope this helps a little? I am so sorry you had to lose your fur babies

Xxxxx

Sandhy

Thanks for your replies. Yes, this is the first time in my life without cats. I'm 52. It's the little reminders sometimes. When the sun is shining I think they would love to be enjoying the sunshine.
I'm the same you Cottage-retreatist in that I keep re-playing their final moments. It's hard to concentrate on the good times. Yet there were plenty of good times and lot of fun and love. They were as devoted to me as I was to them.
Part of the family and all that...
Cottage_retreatist: I've seen your other thread and I feel for you. Very kind of you to reply when you're feeling so raw x

Artytarty

I thought I was having a breakdown, my mind was stuck in sloop, seeing the moment we found her. It was an image I just could not get rid off.
I now think it was my minds way of dealing with it,until it made sense and the intensity and pain have reduced considerably.
I hope the same happens for you and for Cottage retreat too.
Also, CR, good luck with the new kitty!

moggymutt

https://www.facebook.com/SpokAnimal/photos/a.317310010192.326820.236825070192/10153953960390193/?type=1&theatre

I'm not clever enough to post the picture itself, but the above link says it all.

Sandhy

That is beautiful, moggymutt.

Aldeney

I'm so sorry you lost your cats sandyh.

I have had cats in my life since I was 6 (I'm 42 now) and have endured the pain of loosing 3 of them. Life moves on but I don't stop missing them. The last cat we lost, Stanly, died suddenly and unexpectedly at a young age and his death has been the most difficult to cope with so I took myself to my Doctor who tried to make me feel bad because I should have been over the grief process. Grief is grief and doesn't discriminate between our animal loved ones and our human loved ones and therefore the process of grief is different for everyone.

One day, hopefully when you think of your cats the sadness you feel will be replaced by happy memories and the joy they brought to your life.

paddypaws101

I try not to think too often about the two I have lost.....2 years on and threads like this make me well up allover again.
BUT, I have gone on to welcome new members into the clan and while they never replace the lost ones, they do bring a lot of happiness and love.

OP, you will always miss those two litter mates, but there is no reason to miss out on the joy that two new companions could bring.
Rescue centres are overflowing with cats, and bonded pairs are often very hard to re-home.....so please honour the memory of your last two cats and bring some more furry loving into your home.