Is it wrong to ask/expect an update?

yvonne13_2

Posters come on here and ask for advise, people respond sometimes with some very valuble information to help guide them. Is it wrong to ask for an update to see how they got on?

I've only seen a handful of posters resond whether it be good or bad, but the majority of the time we hear nothing. It would be nice to hear back as the end result could help guide others in a similar situation.

Some people may say they shouldn't have to which is fine but I would say then why post the question in the first place......

Saturnalia

I know what you mean. Sometimes a particular poster & their problem will be one I remember vividly, or felt very concerned for them at the time, and I'll wonder for a while afterwards how it all turned out (and hope it turned out for the best).

But no-one is obliged to reply. Maybe they're busy dealing with reality & the forum slips their mind, maybe it's a while later when they feel ready to reply but think it was too long ago and people have moved on, maybe they don't want to revisit a bad time in their lives, etc.

Yes it'd be nice to get a follow-up (and helpful to know if our advice worked!) but we've just got to accept a poster may not do so, for many reasons.

19lottie82

I know, the worst is when people ask for advice, but then you know the answers aren't what they want to hear, and they never return after their original post.

I think maybe a lot of the time what happens is, there is an update in theri situation which didn't turn out for the best and their too embarrassed to update, which is understandable really.

persa

A lot of the questions on this board are emotional rather than practical.

If someone is too upset to continue posting/update, then so be it. They don't need to satisfy anyone's curiosity, they just need to find a coping strategy. If part of that strategy is to write all their thoughts down then forget about it, that's fine.

It would be nice to know if people were ok after posting in an upset state, but ultimately, they owe it to themselves to sort things out, they don't owe anyone an update.

As 19lottie82 says, some may be too embarrassed to come back. Others may be too scared - even if the thread was supportive last time they looked, trolls may since have moved in. Happens all the time here.

Georgiegirl256

yvonne13 wrote: »

Some people may say they shouldn't have to which is fine but I would say then why post the question in the first place......

For some people it just helps by writing the problem down, by getting the words out, that alone can be a big weight of their shoulders. The advice on here is generally really good, and really helpful and that alone can help someone by just making them feel that someone is there for them and that someone is listening.

This might help solve their problem, and then they go about their daily life as usual and the forum slips their mind....OR, the outcome hasn't turned out as they would have hoped, and they are too embarrassed or too upset to come back and update everyone.

Yes it would be nice in some instances to get an update, to hear that they are ok and that things have turned out well for them, but anything else is just to satisfy your own curiosity, and no one owes anybody anything.

meritaten

I always think of an update as a 'bonus'. Its nice to get, but, not essential. I try to move on from someones problems if a thread 'drops off the radar'. (tho there are some I wonder how they are getting on).

CH27

I do like to get an update as i'm a nosey moo

cazziebo

A couple of times I've gone back to a thread and then thought it was better not to put it up to the top of the forum again.

Kind of things I post about are pretty boring mainly!

sacha28

Is there anything I've asked that you would like an update on? I think my posts are rather boring tho!!

Fredula

I think sometimes it's just that you can't find the thread, because the forums go so fast. Sometimes if I've posted a thread I need to go through 3 or 4 pages to find it (I'm not very good with the technology), so I can't always be bothered because I assume people don't really care.

I'm always very grateful to people who respond to my threads though, and I value their opinions and advice.