Help - need to tell husband about our debt!

FBaby

Just one advice is to watch it with tax credits. I assumed that I would be much better off one my youngest started school full-time and I didn't nee to pay so much childcare any longer. I expected tax credits to go down, but hadn't expected to lose them all, so that in the end, paying for breakfast, afterschool and holiday clubs, even trying to arrange my life so they didn't go every day to both or every day during the holidays, I was worse off monthly by about £300. You might want to check how much tax credits you will be entitled to once your youngest start school.

dancingfairy

I don't think it will be as bad as you fear. He obviously knows you have significant debt. He knows you had an operation last year. It sounds like he has his head in the sand. Why not tell him that you're fed up juggling Peter to pay Paul and you need to sit down and sort this once and for all, or tell him that you had a look at the bank statement and added up what you owed and were shocked that it had spiralled so much. Presumably a lot of that is interest, and interest on interest.
I think whoever said it's like removing a sticking plaster is probably right. Once you get it over and one with, a huge weight will be lifted from your mind and you can move on. You have already had loads of help and suggestions and know that a dmp is likely to be a good option for you so with both of you on board you can do it.
Best of Luck
df

SeduLOUs

It shouldn't come as a shock to him. Realistically your rent/mortgage, essential household costs and childcare costs eat up the majority of your income so it doesn't take a genius to work out that there's very little left after the essentials to eat with and pay the credit cards he knows you are using for tax bills etc.

If that SOA were mine I'd be trying to figure out a way to move to a cheaper house. You're general expenditure isn't actually terrible but to repay your debt and move on something big has to change.

Best of luck x

savingmummy

Have you managed to speak with him yet?

financialdisease

Sending you some support and good vibes for a tough few days ahead

I am coming to terms now with whats happened with oh debts and things are not looking so glum fingers crossed that's the outcome for you. He already knows you have some borrowing so I don't imagine it will be a complete shock to him.

FBaby wrote: »

Just one advice is to watch it with tax credits. I assumed that I would be much better off one my youngest started school full-time and I didn't nee to pay so much childcare any longer. I expected tax credits to go down, but hadn't expected to lose them all, so that in the end, paying for breakfast, afterschool and holiday clubs, even trying to arrange my life so they didn't go every day to both or every day during the holidays, I was worse off monthly by about £300. You might want to check how much tax credits you will be entitled to once your youngest start school.

I will loose my tax credits completely when my youngest leaves the private nursery

vix1977

Hi all


thanks for all the advice. I have spoken to him and everything is fine! He has just said to start things moving with Stepchange.


I know our mortgage is big but it has always been big, we have lived in our house for 9 years and really don't want to move.


I am starting to panic about my tax credits though, will have a word with my childminder to get the amount for the year and then phone the tax credit people.


Thanks for all your ideas, I am still feeling sick but not as bad as I was!!!

financialdisease

Glad it wasn't too bad Vix

I really hope step change can help you get on top of things my dh seems a bit more positive after each call with them.

savingmummy

Well done telling him, bet it felt good!
Did he have an idea?


Now there is two heads it will take some of the worry off of you!
Make sure he knows how important it now to be careful with his outgoings.

couponqueen123

well done telling him ,

but i cant help notice you keep mention little treats for the kids and you got the pub?

kids dnt love the pub , they go coz parents take them

why not make a picnic and go park? avoid pub so no spends

also you use the word treat -- treat is some thing nice and u can afford it if not its just an expense think this .

vix1977

Savingmummy - It did feel good telling him and he did know that we were getting further and further in debt but wasn't saying anything either!! We are really watching what we spend now (didn't spend anything at all at the weekend apart from food shopping!), will be contacting Stepchange shortly!


Couponqueen - I actually don't like to go to the pub (I don't drink!) but my kids actually do enjoy going! Mad I know but true! We do have picnics and go to the park and go on bike rides, but we will stop going to the pub.




A few of you have said about moving - we can't remortgage as my husband is self employed and his books say he isn't earning enough, I really don't want to rent as we have worked so hard to get out house and I don't think we would ever get back on the property ladder again! obviously if we had to we would but I would rather miss out on other things then sell my house!