Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay more towards bills?



  • onesixfive
    onesixfive Posts: 476
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    No - she may be living above her means.
    This may be a lesson she needs to learn the hard way - she may need to downsize, or face facts that she needs to look elsewhere for something she can afford.
    Offer to help by sitting down & budgeting with her (if she wants), to ensure she's not wasting money - or she could do things better, but no - sorry - this one is her problem.
  • minicooper272
    minicooper272 Posts: 2,131
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Having been the housemate with lower income before, sometimes those who don't need to worry so much about money will often be a little less mindful of running up bills. I would suggest that if your housemate tries really hard to keep bills down (i.e. you're the one that wants heating on more, or you don't conserve water as much), you can offer to pay more to cover your extra use. If you're both happy with the amount you use, then split the cost equally.

    I agree with others though, maybe if she is strapped for cash sometimes, you can offer to treat her to a cinema trip.
  • gaving7095
    gaving7095 Posts: 168 Forumite
    I think an occasional treat (takeaway, rented movie, whatever) is a great idea & probably as far as it should go.

    The fact that you've thought about paying more on your own does indicate that she must be a very good housemate, which in my opinion are incredibly hard to find. Maybe if she had to leave due to cost, then could be the time to offer to pay more.
  • Talent
    Talent Posts: 244 Forumite

    I don't understand the husband and wife 60/40 split posting.... what's that all about?
  • nhampson
    nhampson Posts: 133 Forumite
    What a good mate for even considering this but any change could backfire with not only hurt pride but also anything more formal should your circumstances change.

    I would suggest what most other have, make sure the "shared" stuff is always there so she never needs to buy
    Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one.
  • sulphate
    sulphate Posts: 1,235 Forumite
    Talent wrote: »

    I don't understand the husband and wife 60/40 split posting.... what's that all about?

    What don't you understand? Sometimes if a partner earns more than the other they put more in for bills etc, if agreed by both parties.

    I have also been the housemate with the lower income and never expected my housemates to subsidise me. It never even crossed my mind to be honest.
  • bigoll
    bigoll Posts: 27 Forumite
    I agree with all those who have said that the split should remain equal.

    However, isn't it interesting that what is common sense in private situations is so frowned upon in public societal situations? We don't think twice about those who earn more subsidising the living costs of those who earn less. It seems only natural that the wealthier pay more towards services which are either shared or used predominantly by the less well-off.

    A very interesting observation........I wonder why we espouse equality in society but inequality in the home.
  • CazGreg
    CazGreg Posts: 207 Forumite
    I believe in sharing, and helping out EVERYONE in the world. It really should make little difference if they are family, friends - or complete strangers.
    However, even I would be wary of actually officially arranging to pay proportionally more, since this will become complicated and could lead to petty disagreements down the line.

    Do be VERY aware of using more of utilities etc. because the cost matters less to you. Every penny that ticks away from you leaving an extra light on will matter a lot to her. Resentment can easily arise from this sort of thing.

    There are lots of ways you can ease the burden on her.
    Buy all the cleaning products and what I'd call shared groceries - when things get low, or you see them on special offer, snap them up and have a store of them, so she never has to buy any. This includes things like bin bags, washing-up liquid, communal handwash for the bathroom, washing powder, tin foil, light bulbs, salt, pepper, herbs and spices, vinegar, even basics like flour/pasta/rice/sugar/teabags/coffee.

    This is much more subtle and might ultimately be more appreciated than paying for takeaways or a bottle of wine. It will seem a lot less like charity.

    There are also a few one-off things that you could cover and just tell her 'don't worry about it'. Things like any charges or repairs that need to happen, or home insurance if you have it, or the charge of installing internet (rather than the monthly fee).

    I feel it's important for her to keep paying her monthly bills, but there are so many other ways you can help out without becoming committed.
    The people in my life: Betty Crocker, Mr. T and Gordon (of Gordon's gin) :T
  • Presumably she has made a conscious choice to live in the flat, in the full knowledge of the costs involved. So she must have already accepted her share of the bills whatever the income of her flat mate(s). Therefore, there's no requirement for you to pay a larger share.

    If you want to contribute a little more, why not casually pay for a treat out once in a while, or buy flowers, etc., to make the flat nicer for both of you. Don't flaunt your extra income, but you can subtly make sharing a more pleasurable experience for both of you.
  • I don't think you're much of a friend to know that your "friend" is struggling to pay the bills and you're letting them WHILST YOU EARN TWICE AS MUCH.

    That is unkind and mean IMO.

    I suggest you immediately start paying more and be a real friend.
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