Advice re alcoholic sister

CH27

wifeanddaughter wrote: »

My sister is an alcoholic, most nights she gets through several bottles of white wine, her house is a tip and her husband severely ill through alcohol related causes. She is also a doctor.

Increasingly I have been getting worried that she could make a mistake at work which could have serious consequences, though there is absolutely no sign that her effectiveness at work is compromised.

I spoke to my parents as we are all very concerned about her and a couple of weeks ago we tried to discuss with her, she refused to talk about it but did stop drinking for the rest of that day. The next day before she went home she promised my parents she would cut down.

However, not surprisingly, she is still drinking and I really don't know what to do. I spoke to a charity that specialises in doctors with alcohol and drug related problems and they said that the only thing we could do is report her to the GMC. I spoke to my parents and they were very cross that I had spoken to anyone although i did not give any details and want to see how things go, which to me is ignoring the problem.

Any advice or suggestions from anyone been in a similar situation. My parents are devastated by the whole situation. I am torn as part of me thinks that reporting my concerns to the GMC may get her the help she needs but equally she will probably never speak to me again. Even if I report her as there is no evidence her work is impaired and I am sure she would refute any allegations I am not sure anything would be done.

Is she in denial about both their problems?
I don't see how she can work or drive safely so I would tell her that you will report her if she doesn't get help.

aileth

Agree with everyone else, even after 2-3 bottles she'll still be a bit wonky in the morning.

I would bring it up with her first of all, but expect a torrent of abuse.

Give her some time, and then if there isn't any acceptance to help herself, I would be reporting my concerns to her workplace.

I'd be extremely concerned if a Doctor who was absolutely w*nkered from alcohol abuse was dealing with a relative's body.

fivetide

If her other half is also on the booze then it is going to be a nightmare for her to get away from it because these people drag each other into the cycle of destruction.

If you want her to get off the drink, it will either involve both of them or a massive change in her life to do it.

Good luck.

wifeanddaughter

Thank you for the replies.

Her OH has supposedly stopped drinking after a spell in hospital, this did not make her stop. We have tried talking to her but she won't discuss.

My parents are visiting her this weekend and I think I will suggest to them the ultimatum approach, but I am not sure if they will do it. In the end if it goes to reporting her it will be me rather than them, I know that will destroy any relationship between my sister and me but I would rather have a sister who is alive, being treated and not a danger to herself or others than the alternative.

I know, from a different personal experience, how devious addicts can be but I don't think my parents do.....

nickj_2

it is a tough decision to make ,but i would do it . a couple of years ago one of my friends lost his wife to drink , she was exceptionally good at hiding her addiction , we used to go round to see them and sh would never appear to drink anything more than the odd glass of wine , and yet whilst we were not there she must have been necking it down .. in the end her liver packed up and tbh she looked worse than people who i've seen who are terminally ill, and yet whilst i think the dr's had given her bad news , she was still in denial , she told me and my wife that she would be back at work with on weeks , unfortunately she never made it ......
although we didn't know she was an alcoholic her family did know and yet didn't do anything until it was too late ,
do something about it now whilst you can