Is debt really a dirty little secret for some?

BillJones

Happier_Me wrote: »

I am not ashamed of this debt at all, anyone that sees my car is likely to sumise I didn't pay for it in cash. The vast majority of new cars are paid for on PCP - even private sales. There are a lot of newish cars on the road so excluding company vehicles that's a lot of people in a lot of debt just for a car.

Hmmm. I financed £3k of my C63, as Mercedes offered £10k off if I did that.

Don't assume that all cars on finance mean that we are all in "a lot" of debt just because we appear in the stats.

January20

This is turning into an interesting discussion! I have a small mortgage that I know is debt but do not regards such really. I also have a car finance because it was cheaper to buy a new car on 0% than a used one on 7% - in the long run - but again I don't think much about it. (Well as long as I have my job - that's the only concern I have)
But I used to have debt I was so ashamed of! (See my signature). I think the difference for me is in terms of bad and not so bad debt. The mortgage and car debt is necessary debt and not frivolous. The other debt I have now paid off was a sign of failure. Failure to find safe and sound employment and failure to manage whatever little money I had.
I do worry though. I feel traumatised by my past experience as I know how easiy it is to get in trouble financially. Job loss, reduction in hours or pay, increase in regular bills, etc I save money and I know where every penny I have goes but still I worry!

Learning2Budget

We have told a few close friends but my parents would go crazy. My father is very clued up with money but I never have been. Getting better since I found MSE because the concept of budgeting is now not so foreign.
Think money management should be taught at school.
If I had a better understanding then I might have managed my finances better.
L2B.x

Ors

My main debt is mortages, then I owe my mum £6,850. It's because I talked about it - she offered to give it. This way I pay her interest rate which is much lower then any credit card i could get and still much higher than any saving account she could get.
I think the question is what is the debt for - rather than the numbers.
Better to talk - and then you will find out!
Best

solvencyseeker

You are definitely not alone Tommy81!

I read somewhere on here that it's not a case of how much you owe but if you can afford the repayments comfortably. 10 years ago we "had" it all - big house, two cars, holidays etc. OH was main earner, I worked part time and looked after the children and home. Over the years OH was made redundant, twice and then had a bit of a "crisis/breakdown" and walked out of his job. He was unemployed for 12 months and then took very low paid work.

We now live in a rented cottage, have one old car and a large amount of debt. That said, we also are now both (since January) in good full time jobs so have a chance of sorting the financial mess out.

The point is that all those things we "had" were very precarious. Are we worse off without them - definitely not.

One of the reasons we got into the mess (apart from the unemployment) is that we did not have a clue about managing money or budgeting. I have been teaching myself, mainly from reading this website, how to budget properly. I wish I had learned this a long time ago!

So I agree that we should teach our young ones about managing money. I'm not so sure about talking openly about debt, I won't tell my elderly parents as they would be devastated. I think you need to tread with caution - some people will be glad to talk about it, others definitey not.

Best wishes on your journey and well done for "coming out"!

BlushingRose

With us, it was circumstances and then bad choices. There was a divorce, followed by a bad choice. Other bad choices (but felt like the sensible thing to do) followed and before we knew it, we were living on credit cards as we couldn't afford to pay off loan payments (and CC payments) and still eat. All of this happened, initially without me knowing anything about it.
Due to consolidation loans and whatnot, we ended up with 41k on three credits cards, a loan and an OD, all in the fianc!'s name.

He is on a DMP now but we're unable to pay very much off a month, and frankly I'm worried about the future.

Stewart_78

We don't tell anyone about ours really although we may have made some vague comments to friends. It is a bit embarrassing I suppose but mainly we just feel stupid as we've done it twice. First in the late 90's we got into huge debt by being young and stupid with cards. Paid that off with proceeds from our house sale which was a massive save. Then we started businesses which got into difficulties in the credit crunch and stupidly bailed them out with personal debt when we should have just let them go. So here we are again.

dubs57

Only my partner knows anything about my debt, and even he does not know the full amount or details. I could not tell anyone else, I am too devastated. I could not bear people to know this about me. However with the help of this forum and the experiences of the honest and scincere people on here I am sorting everything out and no longer increasing but finally decreasing my debt. Thanks every one for the inspiration.

Prothet_of_Doom

marliepanda wrote: »

I guess its less a 'secret' but that we don't tend to talk about debt?

No one goes 'oooh I just got myself a 4x my salary debt' they talk about the awesome house they got (I know mortgages are a bit different)

But a lot of my friends have fancy new cars on finance. They show them off, but no one goes, 'oooh so I lent £6k on 19% APR, whats your debt?' they just compare their new cars! Where I have a dinky ten year old Micra

I just dont think we talk about money, its a bit rude to ask someones salary or what they spent on things so I guess saying 'oh so whats your debt' is a bit odd. I have a few friends who are on debt busting plans like me, but I dont know what their debt is...

I've taken to asking "I know this is probably none of my business, but how have you afforded that beautiful car/house/holiday/extension ?"

It's eye watering sometimes, when you hear "It's only costing me £322 a month" and you find out that is with an £8K balloon payment after 3 years, a £2K deposit, and you know it's 25% of thier takehome, and you know that overtime is about to be cut to zero in 2 months.

Puddylove

It's private, I think.
I am lucky that I owe less than 1/3 of my salary so my debts are manageable meaning I've never been forced to do a DMP (yet).

I expected my partner to think a lot less of me when I told him I lived on a very tight budget, and he saw me mending my wheelbarrows, sewing repairs and patches on my horses' rugs, making clothes, etc.

The opposite happened - he says he admires both my self-discipline, and my resourcefulness in fixing stuff.