Diary of a single working Mumma.

girlatplay

Hi StarMummy

Another single working mummy popping in to say hello. I am a bit older than you and further down the line (don't mistake that for me being wiser, that will certainly not be the case ). You have had your lightbulb moment at a good time and you are doing really well so far.

Your ex-OH should be paying maintenance. Would you be willing to go to the CSA?

I will subscribe to your diary to see how you get on. Good luck!

gap

StarMummy_2

Skinnylatte wrote: »

I see you got your signature up, I spend ages staring at mine, it keeps me going :rotfl:

It is good isn't it?
I felt bad the 'uni' savings pot standing empty so i scrabbled together a few pounds to make it up to 1% of target. It's not much but it makes me feel like i'm doing something. Can re-address it when I get paid.

StarMummy_2

girlatplay wrote: »

Hi StarMummy

Another single working mummy popping in to say hello. I am a bit older than you and further down the line (don't mistake that for me being wiser, that will certainly not be the case ). You have had your lightbulb moment at a good time and you are doing really well so far.

Your ex-OH should be paying maintenance. Would you be willing to go to the CSA?

I will subscribe to your diary to see how you get on. Good luck!

gap

you are right my ex SHOULD be paying maintenance. I got fed up with the same old arguement of getting no support and went to the CSA in DEC 2012, they told him how much he should pay and I (stupidly) trusted him to pay it...FEB 2013 he moved to Cyprus with his girlfriend, told our daughter 4 days before he left. CSA couldn't touch him. In July 13 he came back to England, I contacted CSA demanding they take it direct from his wages, he gave them the run-around, moved house, changed jobs, told them he had her over-night. Each time they had to re-calculate. in October they came to a decision and sent the letters out. In Jan I hadn't received any oney, phoned them and they said 'sorry we accidentally failed to put it through to the financial team' GRRRRRR!
Any way I was due to get my first payment in March and I get a letter from CSA to say that he has lost his job! so No money, no help, and a backlogg that keeps growing but means nothing because I won't see a penny. He should be paying me in excess of £280 a month. it isn't money I am ever going to count on or budget with....sorry for the ramble, very touchy subject

girlatplay

Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to upset you. I understand your frustration.

I know this won't make it better but I left my ex when Little Miss Gap was 2. I was too scared to go to the CSA for fear of what he would do to me (physically). When she was 9 I finally plucked up the courage and now I get money sporadically. I never rely on it, if it arrives, it is a bonus. It is good when it does arrive though.

My point is that in the 7 years that I got nothing, I turned our life around completely and now I don't actually need his money, it is the principle. You can do this. It takes hard work, determination and time but it will happen.

StarMummy_2

Oh you didn't upset me sweetie, just a frustrating situation.
I've done this well without it I don't NEED the money, but like yourself it is the princepal of the situation. We had been together 3 1/2 years when she was born and she was planned, why I am left to do the donkey work is beyond unfair. Although you take the good with the bad and we are so close that It more than makes up for the hell he put me through. Anyway this isn't an ex rant. Won't give him the satisfaction

girlatplay

We were together 4 years when LMG was born and she was also planned. Due to his behaviour we have nothing to do with him now and I really wouldn't have it any other way. She is my rock and I am hers. She is my wee best friend. We are soooo close and it is great. She is 13 now and can be a moody wee so and so but I know it is her age and hormones. He is the one missing out on a fabulous little girl.

Three cheers for us fab mummies!

StarMummy_2

hey.

Well this debt diary has done wonders for my focus and not just on the money front, but with my studies. Getting out of debt is a two pronged attack after all, spend less, earn more!
I've managed to crack through 150 pages of my next exam textbook this week and have a blister on my index finger from all the note taking.
It's making me so much happier just having a focus and letting myself be in control.

I have noted down my financial targets for the next few months. Need to get this overdraft down, especially with the wonderful new charges Barclays are bringing in on 28th June. The next thing to ask myself is if I keep the overdraft facility and if so how much do I bring it down to. I'm hoping not to use is as i'm creating an emergancy fund and If I stick to my savvy ways I shouldn't need it...in theory. But this is real life and all intentions aside there are bound to be times where I just need those shoes, or that meal out with friends. I'm not perfect it will happen and I need to allow for that.

I've been thinking alot about 'the move'. Even more so than usual. The plan was to get a nice 2-bed. But Housing is very expensive her, it's less than an hour to 'the smoke' by train with excellent schools and the countryside on your doorstep, lovely...with a lovely big price-tag.

I'm now considering renting a one-bed, just for a year or so, with a decent size bedroom for The little person and all my pretty clothes and a sofa bed in the living room. Not only will this save £100+ a month rent but also £20ish in Council tax and heating costs should be less too. So thats something to think about.

getting itchy feet having not allocated any pennies anywhere, I've got about £220 to last until payday, that has to pay for about £75 in fuel, brunch with my friend, my mobile bill of £40:eek: (I really must change my contract in August, I don't need a new phone as much as I would like one, I may try and go sim only) and I promised the little one an easter day out too. So I'm relectant to move any monies out of my current account, i'd feel defeated if i had to move it back fro a savings pot.

StarMummy_2

Feeling a little disappointed in myself this morning.
I had a bit of a spendy weekend. I had to pop to the supermarket and get some toiletries/health stuff which wasn't budgeted and set me back £6.48, Some how I've managed to go through £40 in diesel since Friday morning and now I'm running off fumes. The brunch I'd arranged with a friend came to exactly my £10 budget so that was a plus and I managed to get a free parking space by parking a ten minute walk from the city centre so I'm pleased with that.
Yesterday afternoon I was a bit silly, had a nice walk with the boyfriend and then went to the pub garden for a nice drink in the sunshine. Order us drinks and the lady at the bar said she would have to add a pound to our bill as it was under a tenner. I said that i'd just order the BF another pint instead, didn't want to spend a pound for nothing. Anyway after our first drinks and with the walk in the sunshine the Bf was feeling too sleepy for the second pint, especially as he had to drive back to London for work last night. So I had paid for a pint that we never had, should have just paid the extra £ after all....or maybe I should just carry a little bit of cash for these situations.:mad:

Anyway, the current account is looking very depressing until I get my child benefit next tuesday. At least i haven't dipped into savings like the old times I suppose.

Roll on payday so I can get those pesky numbers down.

StarMummy_2

Feeling a little disappointed in myself this morning.
I had a bit of a spendy weekend. I had to pop to the supermarket and get some toiletries/health stuff which wasn't budgeted and set me back £6.48, Some how I've managed to go through £40 in diesel since Friday morning and now I'm running off fumes. The brunch I'd arranged with a friend came to exactly my £10 budget so that was a plus and I managed to get a free parking space by parking a ten minute walk from the city centre so I'm pleased with that.
Yesterday afternoon I was a bit silly, had a nice walk with the boyfriend and then went to the pub garden for a nice drink in the sunshine. Order us drinks and the lady at the bar said she would have to add a pound to our bill as it was under a tenner. I said that i'd just order the BF another pint instead, didn't want to spend a pound for nothing. Anyway after our first drinks and with the walk in the sunshine the Bf was feeling too sleepy for the second pint, especially as he had to drive back to London for work last night. So I had paid for a pint that we never had, should have just paid the extra £ after all....or maybe I should just carry a little bit of cash for these situations.:mad:

Anyway, the current account is looking very depressing until I get my child benefit next tuesday. At least i haven't dipped into savings like the old times I suppose.

Roll on payday so I can get those pesky numbers down.

StarMummy_2

oh crumbs...just checked the bank and £14.99 has gone out from credit expert because I forgot to call and cancel embership! really must keep myself a little notepad for these things. Bank looking worse than ever £40 to last the week and at least £30 of that will end up going on diesel. Just got to keep telling myself that I may not have cash in the bank but at least the debts have been hit hard this month....it won't be this way forever