Am I doing the right thing?

judi24

Just read your thread - fantastic news on the new job! I fully understand the bad memeories thing with the house but please think carefully - renting is dead money - if you could get rid of your debt with the increased pay then you would be in a positon to move house to somewhere wth no memories but still maintain the equity and your place on the property ladder! Good luck in whatever you decide

egoode

virgo84 wrote: »

I thought I would post an update to let people know how things are going. I have been successful in getting a permanent job back in the civil service and a grade higher. I start in January and will be getting nearly 10k more than I am now. I can't wait after nearly 2 years of hell and no money. Plus to have a great permanent job again.

The last 7 months since I last posted have been some of the darkest of my life but I feel positive about the future although Xmas is going to be very poor. No decadent food, parties or presents. I will be putting my house up for sale next summer. Although I'll be better off this house holds too many bad memories and I want to be free from it and debt. To have even £10 per week spending money is a dream. Sorry if I've gone on but I thought I'd let you know how things are. Xxx

I've just read your thread from start to finish. I'm a bit surprised you are still planning to sell your place now you have a new job with a big pay rise. Moving will not get rid of the bad memories the only way to get rid of them is to have a positive mindset and start making new happier memories. I think you need to start taking some of the excellent advice you were given about reducing your food bill (particularly the cat's food bill). You still need to work on your debts which will take time.

I also think you should take the advice to get a lodger. I spent years sharing rooms, living in flat shares and currently have a lodger in my place. I'm not someone that finds it particularly easy to live with other people but needs must sometimes. My current situation with a lodger is the best I've ever had. She is rarely home as often goes out with friends after work, goes away a lot on weekends and we have different work schedules so I don't even see her in the morning. You just have to search hard to find someone that would suit you.

I'm also a bit worried you don't seem to have learned anything from this situation as you haven't seemed willing to take on any of the excellent advice people gave you months ago instead you kept coming up with excuses as to why you couldn't do any of those things. I know it's been hard for you over the past 2 years but it also seems you only looked for the easy way out, which selling your house seems to be or the fact you continued to spend on your credit cards when you could have been working on reducing your groceries bill. Unless you have learnt something from what you have been through then it's more likely you will end up in a similar situation again one day.

virgo84

Thanks for your response. But i just want to address a few things since my last post in May i have made considerable changes my food bill has come down to £40 per week i've been using my credit card for food because i have had no other money to pay for it with. Family have helped but can only help so much when we they are poor. I did not want to keep using my credit card but other than starve there was no choice. to say have not made any changes when you do not know me Is plain ignorant. I can say i have never missed a bill payment which has been an aim of mine and incredibly hard.

Do i want more years of struggle no. Am i happy in my home no. Do i want to have a life again yes. Lots of things have happened in this house i will not go into on a forum so i have reason to move. I have learnt from the experience again you do not know me so judging is easy when you aren't me.

As someone who suffers depression a lodger would not be for me and that will always be the case i'm too old to go back to sharing a house.

I wanted to post a quick update but will not do so again after a your response.

thanks to the other posters who have made useful and thoughtful contributions.

sparkychris

Virgo...

I just had to post!

I was in a whole world of debt a few years ago and selling my house, without a shadow of a doubt was absolutely the best thing I have ever done in my life...

Even that wasn't enough to pay off my debts, but it felt like 15 years of darkness was instantly lifted from me... I can't begin to tell you the difference it made to me. I then moved into a tiny bedsit where I spent the happiest time of my life. It was dirt cheap, cosy and warm... Look around. Lots of places accept pets. Some don't, some do...

These days, I live with my new partner and my half of the bills, which I pay into a joint account every Monday is £115 and as I have no debts I am able to build a retirement fund, as well as eat out when I want to, buy a 30 quid bottle of aftershave guilt free and live well within my means.

From the day I sold my house to pay off my debts I have got happier and happier.

I am almost 40, if that makes a difference, so you have ten years on me. My advice (and I'm sure that someone will be along shortly to poo poo it) is
1. Sell your house
2. Find somewhere to rent cat-friendly, warm, dry and cheap
3. Never borrow another penny ever again ever for anything. Ever.
4. Build your fortune
Above all....
5. Be happy.

Also, be aware, that if you start borrowing again, all will unravel.

X

virgo84

Sparkychris thank you so much for your post you have made me feel so positive. I couldn't have written it better.

What you said is exactly what I want. It is nice to hear from someone who has been through it and has had a positive experience from selling. Like you say to be able to buy something with money that is spare will be amazing. I can't remember the last time I bought perfume. To live and not just exist in a neverending wave of bills.

Life sounds great for you and it is nice to hear from someone who is happy. i hope in 6 months time my life will be different. I have it planned now so it id just a matter of waiting until spring when its good to sell.

Thank you so much sparkychris you've made ny day:o xx

blahblahblah85

Good luck OP, a house is not everything and you sound like you've decided already, but remember to include the cost of selling fees, and with renting any agency fees or deposits when calculating your finances.
I also applaude you for not giving up on your cats...good luck!