Financial support for kids at uni??

jan30

[URL="javascript:openWindow('pop_delete.asp?mode=Topic&TOPIC_ID=6771&FORUM_ID=32&CAT_ID=12')"][/URL] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica] I was reading this article http://www.mapleandleek.com/html/display_article.php?id=30&articleid=7&hid=yes and was wondering how much financial support you give to your kids at uni?

I sent my only child to Bristol University last year which is very expensive and I've provided him with just about everything. I've paid his tuition fees of £3k, accomodation of £4k and everything else on top of that about another £2-3k. Do you think this is being excessive?

I mean its going to be even more expensive with him moving into a house in Clifton which is ridiculously overpriced. I sometimes feel I do too much but I mean by next summer, hopefully he'll have an internship with a management consultancy firm or investment bank which could pay his 3rd year off.

Do you think I support him too much? to what degree does everyone else support their child? especially at university.[/FONT]

loulou41

I have supported my two children at University and paid everything. They both left university without any debts. I was lucky and did not have to pay the tuition fees. We are both working class people and have to work hard in the NHS. By all means, if you can afford it, you should support your child. I did not want them to take loans. They both had summer jobs for their pocket money.

seven-day-weekend

Our son did not chose to go to Uni, but had he have done so, we would have supported him as much as we could so that he did not have any debts. We would at the very least paid his tuition fees and his accommodation. If we could not have afforded accommodation, he could have gone to our local University and stayed at home.

I think it is terrible that young people are expected to to start their adult life with huge debts! What sort of message is that giving??

And as Loulou says, they can get a job in the holidays (and perhaps 1/2 evenings a week) to help out.

Savvy_Sue

Well, I'm afraid we don't support DS1 at all. He's taken out the loan, he's paid the balance of his tuition fees, he pays his accommodation and food and books and clothes etc etc etc and he's getting on with it. I don't care if 'technically' we were supposed to be able to afford it, I didn't have the money spare for his tuition at the time, and he was quite happy to get on with it.

I don't make him pay keep during holidays. And I tend to buy any clothes he needs then. But yesterday he had new shoes for £65 and he said he'd pay at least some of them. (Actually he's paid the lot right now because my credit card broke!)

We MAY try to help DS2 a little more because he will have the higher fees. But no promises.

I think the OP is storing up trouble for her son: if he doesn't learn to live on a tight budget and manage money now, when will he? Fair enough he might need a little more help because rents in Clifton are :eek: but why not encourage him to get the loan? It doesn't have to be paid off until he's got a job paying a reasonable amount, and you could make payments then IF you wanted to.

Fizog

I think it is terrible that my son will leave university being approx. £20k in debt. We can help out a bit, but living in London and my other half being self employed it will be food parcels and the odd £50, rather than a £10,000 cheque for the entire year. If we could we would but we can't so we won't as the saying goes....
I rather think your offspring should stand on his own two feet, I had my tuition fees paid at a college and a small grant but I worked every holiday since I was 14, managed to budget and lived on my own in London from 16. It seems due to the price of properties that the next generation will boomerang back home or expect a hefty deposit from you. The sooner they learn to stand on their own two feet the better... you will be a meal ticket for life...

Savvy_Sue

On one level I think it's terrible they end up with all this debt, but on another I'm quite glad that there is at least ONE reason for young people to think about whether University is right for them now that the government wants half of them to go on to Uni.

It worries me that DS3 will go "Boff, it's not worth going if I've got to pay for it all", but IF we've helped DS2 up front then I'm sure we'll help him too. DS3 is a bit like that: he was given the chance of a school trip which he was quite keen to go on until I said he'd have to pay half (as his brothers always have) - at that point it became a waste of money. So, OK for me to waste £400 of MY money for him to go to Venice for a weekend, not OK for him to waste £200 of HIS money (which he does have!) ...

And I'm sure our sons would prefer us to leave them to it now and put any surplus cash into our rather meagre pension plans than support them generously now and expect THEM to help US stay comfortable post-retirement! :rotfl:

jan30

Well my son has some odd jobs this summer but nothing hefty enough to support him next year but rather just to keep him going till he starts uni again.

I can't force him to get a job in term times because I want him to concentrate 100% on his work and try to get a first because I know he's completely capable of it.

jennifernil

When DS went to uni there were no fees and even grants! He stayed at home and we gave him an allowance and fed him. In the long summer holiday he had course related jobs away from home so had to pay rent and buy food.

Now DD is at uni and the paying back of the fees here in Scotland is being abolished. She has a flat which we have paid for, but she has to give us the money back when it is sold. She pays all the bills herself. She gets an allowance of £2000 per annum from us plus books paid for, has a part time job paying about £60 per week and a course related summer job.

As she has just been awarded funding for a PhD we can stop paying now.
Just as well as OH retired today!

Savvy_Sue

jan30 wrote: »

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica]I sent my only child to Bristol University last year [/FONT]

Could we just get one thing clear? Your adult child chose to go to Bristol Uni - at least I hope he did, because I know I'd struggle to send any of mine anywhere they didn't want to go!

jan30 wrote: »

I can't force him to get a job in term times because I want him to concentrate 100% on his work and try to get a first because I know he's completely capable of it.

There is a part of me which thinks that the experience gained while working coupled with a 2nd may make it easier to find a good job than a 1st with very limited experience. Obviously it depends what your son wants to do post-Uni, but neither of you should assume that he'll walk straight into a high paid job just because he's got a 1st.

And my son hasn't needed to get a job in term times because he's been working part-time since he was 14 and has saved most of that - paper rounds, followed by a couple of shifts each week at the local cinema throughout 6th form. Of course that MAY have adversely affected his A level results (AABB) but I can't help feeling that he wouldn't have worked any harder if he hadn't had a job! So when he first went to Uni I was encouraging him to look for a part-time job, maybe similar to the cinema (because when they were quiet he could read or study!), but he's declined. And as long as he's OK for money that's fine by me.

Plus, DS1 is very frugal. At the start of the year, he reckoned he was living on £10 per week - he said not drinking or going clubbing helped there! He chose the cheapest university residence to live in for his first year (couldn't see the point of paying extra for ensuite ...), and wasn't living in the fashionable part of town for his second (although it WAS conveniently close to campus!)

The point is, both you and your son have made choices. He's chosen to go to Uni in Bristol (which isn't the cheapest city in the world to live in), and you've chosen to pick up all his bills. I can see why he'd be happy with this arrangement, although I'm not sure my sons would be: I am sure DS1 likes his independence and NOT being reliant on me in any way (apart maybe from a lift at the beginning and end of term :rotfl:- and even that's negotiable!)

And I am personally VERY glad that my parents made no offer to make up my grant when I went to Uni - I liked the independence that gave me, and that I didn't feel I had to do what THEY wanted because THEY were paying. I appreciated their support, and the fact that I didn't have to pay much for my keep (when I was working I was expected to pay something), but it was very much MY choice, and MY responsibility.

I don't mean to sound critical - obviously what's right for one family isn't right for another, and I know my own experiences colour the way I feel about things. I just want to see my sons grow up into responsible adults, and in this family we aim for a gradual acceptance of responsibility, including financial responsibility. It's working well with DS1 and DS2, although I'm not sure it will EVER 'take' with DS3! :rotfl:

Bennifred

Sue, I am so glad you posted - you have said exactly what I feel, and put it so much better than I could! In fact I think our situations are very similar in many ways - we have told all three of our sons that whatever they choose to do after leaving school they are going to have to be pretty much financially independant. The other posters were making me feel a bit guilty about that, even though I think it is the right thing to do and we don't have much option anyway:rolleyes:
DS1 went off to Uni two years ago, and under the rules at the time WE were supposed to pay the tuition fees, but DS1 paid them himself out of savings (like your son, he's worked part-time from 14yrs). As it turned out, he has twice decided to change courses and will be starting over in September - I think I would be a lot less happy about that if I had been funding it all! DS2 is hoping to go to Uni next year, and is already saving quite a lot of his wages in the hope that he won't have to do paid work during term-time. Again - that will be HIS choice.

Sobraon

[FONT=&quot]On the other hand when I went to university I had a full grant, no fees and also a travel grant. It didn’t make me dependent on the State and I have paid my dues over the years. I certainly would not have gone if it meant that I would have been in debt when I finished. The first of my three starts at university soon and the thought of her starting her working life with a debt of 22K does worry me. She may have to go to university in Malta to keep the costs down (instruction in English, no fees for EU citizens, low cost of living and ample opportunities for part time jobs). [/FONT]