Giving lifts to work dilemma

LE3

"George, I'm sorry but I wont be able to continue giving you a lift after Easter. Things have changed and I'm not always going to be travelling this way. I hope you will be able to sort something out"

If he persists with "but how will I get to work" then you say "sorry, I'm not able to continue with our arrangements" (you could even offer up the bike suggestion!)
How does he manage when you are on holiday/off sick?

Before you do any of this, warn the 3-day-a-weeker that you are going to be doing it so he is prepared & can say no. Maybe the 3-day-a-weeker would suddenly like to take up cycling (only needs to try it for a week or two before going back to car if needed) or develop a temporary medical condition which restricts/prevents him from driving.
If you don't feel able to say any of this to him, then "sorry, the car's off the road" is a good one ... Paying out for a week's bus pass would be money well spent to break the cycle of expectation that this guy has!


When I broke my arm & couldn't drive, it was *very* telling who offered me lifts, who complained when I was a few minutes late due to the bus or whatever & who seemed to just not understand that I was not physically able to drive for a few weeks and went on about how inconvenient that was for them that I couldn't pick them up for a meeting!

Tiexen

Deleted_User wrote: »

Work is 5 miles away from my home so picking him up is adding 4 miles onto my journey.

Its probably better for your car to do 9 miles

AnnieO1234

What time do you have to be at work?! No public transport at all or just to the area you work? Might be worth saying that you can pick him up ON YOUR ROUTE but he'll have to make his way to a convenient pick up spot.

Personally I've been in this situation before with colleagues and church members, it's a nightmare. As you say it starts as a one off but then becomes expected. If you don't want the confrontation is there anyway you can go to work earlier or later? It might be easier to say, "I'm really sorry but I'm going to gym in a morning, so I won't be able to pick you up."

It's hard, I don't envy you. Xxx

[Deleted User]

DUTR wrote: »

You wouldn't charge a mate, I suspect you wouldn't sponge off them either, what does the colleague do when one of his 'drivers' is on leave?

He'll usually get the other 'drivers' to step up and give him extra lifts to cover the driver who is off/on holiday. Or failing that he gets his family to drive him in but that is a last resort. He'll always try to get a lift off someone.

cootuk wrote: »

A lot depends if they are your mate or just a work colleague.

Just a work colleague. Never see him out of work and he never comes to staff night outs or stuff like that.

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

What time do you have to be at work?! No public transport at all or just to the area you work? Might be worth saying that you can pick him up ON YOUR ROUTE but he'll have to make his way to a convenient pick up spot.

Personally I've been in this situation before with colleagues and church members, it's a nightmare. As you say it starts as a one off but then becomes expected. If you don't want the confrontation is there anyway you can go to work earlier or later? It might be easier to say, "I'm really sorry but I'm going to gym in a morning, so I won't be able to pick you up."

It's hard, I don't envy you. Xxx

No bus from his area until after our work start time but there is buses before work start time from my area. Hence my example of it costing me £20 a week if I got a bus to and from work. He could get a bus to work if he walked 2.5 miles to catch one, or if he started work later he could get a bus from his door step.

quidsy

Umm, jus tell him that you don't want to drive him anymore, he is welcome to carry on getting a lift for £1 a time as long as he can get to yours by the right time in the morning but that you can't be arsed to drive out of your way, get up earlier etc to pick him up at his.

He can like it or lump it.

ripplyuk

I've always thought that when giving a regular lift, both parties share the fuel expenses for the ENTIRE journey equally. I have seen adverts in local newspapers offering lifts and this is the way they all seem to do it. Otherwise, they wouldn't be offering the lift in the first place.

I would like to think I'd always help out someone if I could but I wouldn't necessarily want it to become a permanent situation! Just tell him it's not convenient for you anymore and give him some time to make other arrangements.

Bigphil1474

The current inland rev rate for mileage allowance is 45p per mile (includes cost of fuel and wear and tear). On the basis that you travel 9 miles in the morning - 4 miles to pick this guy up = £1.80, and half of the remaining 5 miles is £1.12, so his fair share would potentially be £2.92. Having said that, you would be driving 5 miles anyway, so that might be a counter argument, but the minimum fair charge would be £1.80.
As said by others, if its a mate, I wouldn't charge anything - we used to pick our lasses friend up from home and drop her off at work which probably meant an additional 5 miles in a morning. Fortunately, she changed work places so we stopped that arrangement which I wasn't too happy about any way as we were always tied to going to work at the same time every day even though we had flexible hours. If its for a colleague, an occasion lift isn't an issue, but why hasn't he sorted something out long term that doesn't mean sponging off you?

TrickyWicky

Deleted_User wrote: »

Is £1 a fair amount to pay? I want to raise this as I think it is costing me more both in fuel and time.

It wouldn't be bad if I was picking him up on the way to work but the fact that I have to go 2 miles in the opposite direction to pick him up.

Yeah you're hard done by! I used to drive over 20 miles each way to pick up my colleague once a week - over 20 miles there, and over 20 miles back. It used to cost me £13 in fuel and I'd get a 'tip' of £5 from him - and even then he used to accuse me of profiteering out of it - in an automatic - the nerve! :mad:

Sometimes (eg bank holidays) this would happen 3 times in a week costing me £21 (and thats assuming it was just a pickup - sometimes I'd have to drop him off the same day too after a 12 hour shift bringing my day up to 14 hours plus a £14 loss). On top of this the company didn't give me any leeway, perks, favours or even thanks for helping them and my colleague out of their mess.

So if you want to quibble over £1 and helping out a colleague then you maybe want to rethink your generosity. Maybe you should realise just how lucky you are to be able to help someone instead.

In a previous job before the one I mention above, I used to frequently take another colleague home after work - diverting my own route from the usual 16 mile journey to over 27 miles and I used to do it because I enjoyed being able to help him and have a chat after a rubbish grind at work!

Seriously, do you really think £1 and 2 miles is a big issue? :rotfl: I can assure you there are plenty of others out there putting themselves out far more than you and they don't complain.

bob_a_builder

and they don't complain

well maybe not directly to the 'colleague' ?
but there seems to be an element of letting off steam in that post.

I would think the most galling part of this for the OP ( it would be for me) is the apparent sense of entitlement by the passenger ans sense of obligation that make it a chore

vikingaero

Most non-car owners are utterly ignorant of the true cost of running a car. And most non-car owners who continually ask for lifts do so because the world owes them. If you can't get to a job with unusual working hours under your own steam then what the hell is the point of taking the job in the first place?

I was in the same boat with an ex-colleague:

His car broke down and he asked me for a lift. My normal commute is 7.5 miles/11 minutes door to door. When he asked for a lift I had to drive 7.5 miles to the office, go past the office for 6 miles and drive back 6 miles to the office - about 45 minutes in all.

The problem is that we sometimes start at 5am. So getting up at 4am is tough but normal. Getting up at 3.30am is a BIG ballache. But it's temporary isn't it?!

So after week 1 of lifts, he said the part he bought off eBay was incorrect, week 2 of lifts, correct part but it was the power steering, week 3 of lifts, needed a special tool, week 4 of lifts, needed seals, week 5 of lifts, his Dad wasn't around to help him out etc etc.

By week 7 he was in denial that I'd given him lifts for 7 weeks - he said it was only a couple of weeks. Another colleague challenged him and called him an idiot. He retaliated and he blurted out: "I look at my bank statement and see how much I save each week on fuel so who's the idiot?!"

That was his last lift.