now I have a plan.

The_fog_has_lifted

My last thread was taken down by the team as it contained a lot of comments from others that were too personal and out of order.

For now I would just like to say a huge thankyou to those that commented with constructive thoughts and gave me great advice and most importantly were non- judgemental.

For the record, yes I have 6 amazing children and one on the way and I have debts to pay but with £900 spare each month I should clear these in just shy of 20 months.

My husband does not work and we are currently as a Married couple addressing this issue, I can only pray that he sees sense.

I will not be paying any of his debts off, he will need to earn on the 2 days that I pay for childcare to start his journey out of debt. I believe from advice on here and from my own conclusions that if I pay them off for him I only serve to add to his problem and prevent him getting his LBM.

I love my children!! Any assumption that I neglect them or let them go with out attention or love in anyway is complete unfounded and It breaks my heart that anyone would think this of me. I love them till the end of time and would do anything for them.

My contraception choices are my business and not for anyone else to comment on, any posts I make on this board are for advice about my debt and SOA. If I want family/relationship advice I will post on the required board.

I am aware that we are currently in debt, that is why I am here getting it sorted. I am really saddened by what happened on my previous post.

As my lord (and the only one I truly answer to) said 'let he who is without fault cast the first stone'.

I now have a plan. I WILL be debt free by the end of 2015. By Jan 2016 I will be a qualified Nurse and will be earning better money and will be able to get some serious saving going doing a job that I love and am very good at.

Thanks again to everyone that was kind last night. Im going to start a Diary to update and keep a good trail of how things are going.

much love foggy.

katy_ann

Good on you! Your family is nobody else's business, your on a debt free board to gain advice on how to clear debt, just like everyone else here, weather you have 10 children or none at all doesn't come into it! Good luck on your debt free journey x

Pepperoni

Good luck with everything xx

MrsCautious

Good luck Foggy. I wondered if you would like to join the Grocery Challenge (a topic/thread to be found in the Old Style Moneysaving section of these forums) -- lots of lovely, supportive people there sharing tips, recipes and challenges of keeping grocery shopping under control.

The_fog_has_lifted

MrsCautious wrote: »

Good luck Foggy. I wondered if you would like to join the Grocery Challenge (a topic/thread to be found in the Old Style Moneysaving section of these forums) -- lots of lovely, supportive people there sharing tips, recipes and challenges of keeping grocery shopping under control.

yes I would, thankyou. ill hope over there now and join. thanks for the invite. x

[Deleted User]

My wife is a staff nurse, and believe me, we do not have 900 spare each month...so don't bank on there being significantly more cash available once you are qualified. Don't want to put a downer on things and good luck with your endeavours.

wigannwuk

Good Luck

I did read your previous thread - and agree it was too personal. People with their own Debt issues judging you on yours!

Good luck with all the kids too......i have 2 and struggle to cope with them ..haha!!

Prothet_of_Doom

Deleted User wrote: »

My wife is a staff nurse, and believe me, we do not have 900 spare each month...so don't bank on there being significantly more cash available once you are qualified. Don't want to put a downer on things and good luck with your endeavours.

My wife was a staff nurse and the stress of trying to do it right nearly killed her.

Imbroglio

Hi,

I read your last thread too, and decided at the time to keep quiet because it was getting heated. Whilst I agree that it all got too personal I can see why some people were frustrated.

I'm a qualified doctor 3 years out of med school, I work way over the EWTD hours and I take home less than you receive in benefits because your husband chooses not to work. Those benefits don't come out of nowhere, they come from people working hard to pay their taxes, people who are often in debt and struggling themselves. My husband and I are desperate to start a family but are waiting until we are in a more financially stable position so we can be financially responsible for them.

Everyone is different, and I don't think there is ever going to be a 'right' way that everyone agrees with. No, they shouldn't tell you how to live your life, and you don't have to answer to them. But perhaps you can understand why you may have touched a few raw nerves?

The_fog_has_lifted

Imbroglio wrote: »

Hi,

I read your last thread too, and decided at the time to keep quiet because it was getting heated. Whilst I agree that it all got too personal I can see why some people were frustrated.

I'm a qualified doctor 3 years out of med school, I work way over the EWTD hours and I take home less than you receive in benefits because your husband chooses not to work. Those benefits don't come out of nowhere, they come from people working hard to pay their taxes, people who are often in debt and struggling themselves. My husband and I are desperate to start a family but are waiting until we are in a more financially stable position so we can be financially responsible for them.

Everyone is different, and I don't think there is ever going to be a 'right' way that everyone agrees with. No, they shouldn't tell you how to live your life, and you don't have to answer to them. But perhaps you can understand why you may have touched a few raw nerves?

yes I agree I may touch a few raw nerves and if people dislike what I am doing I suggest they complain to their local MP/ government/ tax credits or whomever as I don't write the rules, I claim what I am entitled to and if that changes I will have to adapt to having less money.- That's life!
Please don't insult my intelligence by suggesting that I think benefits 'come out of nowhere'.
I also work hard, I also paid tax and lots of it before becoming a student nurse and will pay tax again once qualified, Telling me you earn less than my benefits when you have CHOSEN to take a paycut so you can go into teaching is also not my problem, also you only qualified 3 years ago as a doc, you not exactly going to be on a consultant salary after 3 years?? I don't see how this is at all relevant either, as a doctor you should know that as a student nurse I work around 50 hour weeks some weeks so welcome to the club, im not going to pat you on the back for working long crappy shifts.
I really fail to see why what my husband chooses to do is my fault???
I can not force him to do anything, the kids have time at nursery because I believe he and they need that, I am done explaining/ making excuses for our situation, he doesn't work I do- get over it!.
I am paying of MY debt and if I end up having to work and pay for the kids I have on my own then so be it.
If you don't like that im sorry but I not going to apologise for it when I am busting my backside working really very hard.
I don't have an expensive car/ posh house/expensive holidays or even expensive shopping, I shop at lidl/aldi and save where I can.
Im doing my best, that Is all I can do.
In 18 months my debts will be gone and then I will look at my situation again.

Imbroglio

You really don't need to explain yourself to me, as I mentioned earlier, it's your life and you make your own choices and I respect that, as should everyone else. I don't want to start an arguement, and there is no need for defensiveness. It's just things escalated very quickly last time and I wanted to try to provide a more balanced alternative perspective. Never mind.

Also, what you said about my situation was not quite true, you have the wrong end of the stick, but as you said it is irrelevant and not really up for discussion we'll just leave that alone.