Helping a friend

19lottie82

Domlowe wrote: »

As I've said I know and trust him, he's been a good friend for many years and I know where he lives, he won't want to cross me.

But he's crossed you already, with the 2.5 k you lent him!

You'd be doing him a much better favour in the long run by not lending him the money and helping him to address his debt issues long term.

If you want to lend him the £ then that's your choice, but as has been advised many times in this thread, only do it if you can afford to lose it.

quidsy

If you do go through with it ask to see his bank records for the last 3 months so you can highlight where exactly his money is going. Just clearing the debts wont be any use if he & his wife are squandering money. bailing him out is a band aid, he needs to work on the actual problem.

BillJones

Domlowe wrote: »

As I've said I know and trust him.

Then you should feel comfortable asking him where he's planning to find the extra £300 per month that he needs to pay you back on schedule, going through a full statement of affairs, and making sure that his numbers add up.

As you hopefully realise, it's perfectly possible that he believes that he will be able to pay you back, but that this is a delusion, and that he's simply not worked through the figures fully.

Or are you just going to assume that this person whose financial life is a real car crash has suddenly pulled everything together himself, done his accounts properly, and understands where he stands?

McKneff

The best thing you can do to help him is to not lend him money and make him take responsibility
for himself. He will be doing the same thing over and over again, till he actually learns that he cannot
just snap his fingers and other people will bail him out. Refer him to a debt charity, you would be
helping him out far more by doing this.

Tixy

If he speaks to a debt advice charity they may well be able to suggest options that means his creditors will freeze interest on his debts.

That will actually be better for him than you borrowing on his behalf even at a cheap interest rate.

Suggest he speaks to one of these urgently - IMPORTANT - Where to seek professional impartial advice about your debts.

If after him seeking advice on his existing debts you feel you want to help him and if he does need a car then you could consider buying a cheap runaround (up to say £1k) in your name and letting him use it and you could ultimately consider transferring it in to his name if he gets to the point he has paid you in full for it. I would think that would be a preferable option than lending him any more cash in his current situation.

DCFC79

If you take the loan out how will he learn from his mistakes if you bail him out. If he says he would pay £300 a month for the loan then where has that £300 been up to now, why has he not paid off what he owes. I echo what has been said and suggest that you help him sorting his debts. If you still want to help him then good luck to you, hope you get the money paid back as agreed.

honeybean

I was in debt , he needs professional advice am sorry but he sees you as a easy target someone to bail him out. You have already said he is not good with money if he has not learnt from the last time I doubt he ever will as he has his own loan company in you. Sounds like he needs a reality check, I learnt from my mistakes repaid my debts and have now never been in debt for over two years, yes be there for support but don't keep bailing him out. I also had three deaths a divorce and have 3 children while in debt but that did not make ask others for money I went to the CAB .He sees you as a easy target and he will keep digging at you. By all means help him with his outgoings and sit with him and go through them but please don't give him any more of your hard earned money he needs to learn. You can still be a friend and send him in the direction of people that can help him manage his money.

Prothet_of_Doom

Herzlos wrote: »

You can get him a reliable family car for far less than £5k (I sold one for £500 a couple of months ago). Have a look at Mondeo/Vectra/Rover 75s for under £1000. Really all he needs is something you can fit a baby seat into.

As for the debt clearing part, that's up to you. But you certainly don't need to spend £5k on a car.

I'm looking at my last 7 cars, and apart from the one I have now which was just under £5K, I don't think I've spent more than £5K in 15 years on cars. 3 of those 7 were killed by crash damage, but would have been able to survive 4 more years. If I needed a car, had £500, I could find one that would last 2 years in less than a couple of days of looking.

If the OP wants to help his friend, he needs to do a budget with him, help him to discuss his problems with debt experts at the CAB, and act as his mentor. Explain that you have no more money, but you will help him in the right direction.

somethingcorporate

Do you really want to lend more money to someone with this much "bad" luck?

Honestly, your posts smack of naivety and being taken for a ride (£300 spare a month, needing £5k for a family car). This is going to cost you a lot in the long run.

Point him in the direction of a debt charity and let him get professional help, he doesn't need more money throwing at him as clearly cannot manage at the moment.

Pendle_Gazza

You should consider having MUG tattooed on your forehead - honestly.

Your meeting/chat with him should be to help him with planning his budget and paying off his existing debts. That'd be the best way to help him.

He clearly cannot afford to pay for a car as things stand.