Can anyone help with benefit advise please?

ragdoll24

Hello
I have been living on my own with 3 young children. Due to a breakdown last year I have been on ESA so at the moment for the first time in my life I have been living on full benefits for the last 6mths until I am fit enough to get back to work which I want to do really soon.
I have a bit of a dilema, I get full housing benefit (but because I cannot get a council house I am in private rented accomodation) so the full housing benefit I get does not cover my full rent so I still have to find a further £175 a month, I get full council tax benefit so dont pay any council tax, I get ESA at the basic rate of £71.40 week and I get low rate DLA care and mobility and Child Tax Credit.
My partner who I have been with for around 6mths now has mentioned us moving in together (we are both in our late 40's/early 50's) he earns £20k a month so around £1300 a month.
He is a bit reluctant to move in with me because he doenst want to end up paying all my rent and housing costs and financially raising my children as my childrens father doesnt contribute anything towards the children.
I want to know if he does move in how much worst off I will be as I also dont expect him to have to start paying all my rent and bills if I loose the benefit help I get. Yes I do understand that I will loose alot of help but if I loose all the benefits I get then it would not be fair on him as then all his salary would be spent on the rent and household bills and we would be left with nothing.
Is there anyone on here that could give me a good idea of what I might loose please?

Almost-free

I wold be careful describing him as your partner as that already starts placing you in the realm of not being entitled to claim as a single person.

If he wants to be with you why wouldn't he want to help support you and your children? He will save on rent wherever he is now, so paying rent and council tax with you shouldn't seem such a burden ! When I met my second husband ,my first paid nothing towards our children, but my second husband never hesitated for a moment in moving in with me, even though he was himself sending money to his ex who had remarried.

The difference is that neither of us were on benefits at the time- if you were both working it wouldn't be an issue. You either want to live together as a couple or not, and I couldn't imagine living with someone mean enough to think like you are describing this guy.

Poppie68

ragdoll24 wrote: »

Hello
I have been living on my own with 3 young children. Due to a breakdown last year I have been on ESA so at the moment for the first time in my life I have been living on full benefits for the last 6mths until I am fit enough to get back to work which I want to do really soon.
I have a bit of a dilema, I get full housing benefit (but because I cannot get a council house I am in private rented accomodation) so the full housing benefit I get does not cover my full rent so I still have to find a further £175 a month, I get full council tax benefit so dont pay any council tax, I get ESA at the basic rate of £71.40 week and I get low rate DLA care and mobility and Child Tax Credit.
My partner who I have been with for around 6mths now has mentioned us moving in together (we are both in our late 40's/early 50's) he earns £20k a month so around £1300 a month.
He is a bit reluctant to move in with me because he doenst want to end up paying all my rent and housing costs and financially raising my children as my childrens father doesnt contribute anything towards the children.
I want to know if he does move in how much worst off I will be as I also dont expect him to have to start paying all my rent and bills if I loose the benefit help I get. Yes I do understand that I will loose alot of help but if I loose all the benefits I get then it would not be fair on him as then all his salary would be spent on the rent and household bills and we would be left with nothing.
Is there anyone on here that could give me a good idea of what I might loose please?

You may lose your ESA if income based, you will keep your DLA, CT will go i think and your HB..but you should still have CB and CTC...put both your details into the Entitledto calc..this should give a pretty accurate figure.

Bollotom

And all around was the strong smell of !!!!!!!!. :cool:

shop-to-drop

Have you gone through csa to try to get financial support from the children's father?

If not why not? Seems a shame that you feel you can't move on with your life due to his non payment!

Poppie68

blondebubbles wrote: »

His income will be too high for working tax credit. Threshold is around £18,000 for a couple.

Oops of course it is sorry OP and thanks bb. I will amend my post to stop any confusion.:)

ragdoll24

Thank you for your comments, some a bit distressing :-( I do agree if my partner loves me he should want to take on all my financial committments but he has a daughter at uni which he provides for and his current rent is £430 a month and he just about survives on what he has left. I wouldnt want he to make a commitment and move in with me and end up paying more then the £430 rent he pays as I am trying to be fair on him, why should he pay for my children. Oh yes I have gone through CSA for the past 5yrs and got no where and now I give up with CSA, my ex husband is far too cleaver and works cash in hand. I have tried the benefit calculators but it gets rather confusing. I think I would be best making an appointment with the job ctr, but thank you all for the replies so far.

Poppie68

While it's not your partners responsibility to provide for your children if he wants to be in a relationship with you then he should except them and their needs, warts an all. I have no idea if their father is a deadbeat or has a valid reason not to contribute to their upkeep. If he is a deadbeat, chase him down and throw the book at him, if he has a valid reason maybe either dump the boyfriend or find a decent man that is willing to provide innocent children with a decent life regardless of blood ties.

Poppie68

Also look at the ESA support group descriptors...if you get put into the SG your money is increased by approx £30 a week and is not income based.

ragdoll24

Poppie 68 I have been on ESA for nearly a year now and still have not been accessed to go on the higher rate as they are so behind with their assessments.
I left my childrens dad due to domestic violence and he swore to me I would not get a penny in CSA. He was working for a company at the time and CSA took 2yrs to get a deductions of earnings order so for the first 2yrs I received nothing then I received £300 for 6mths, then he left his job and started doing cash in hand jobs so for the past year I have received nothing from him. I had a breakdown last year because of all the domestic violence I suffered and have been very ill and struggling financially as although I appreciate and get a lot of help from benefits, because I cant get a council house and I am in a small rented terraced house the housing benefit does not cover my full rent so I still have to find nearly £200 a month towards my rent, my children and I are left to live on £100 a week for food, clothes etc which I have managed on but is very very hard. Looking at benefit calculators if my partner moved in with me I would loose all the financial help I get and all his salary would end up paying rent and bills and I think he would begrudge that as he has a daughter he is helping through uni and pays her £300 a month and I cant expect him to stop supporting his daughter to help raise my children.
Looks like I will have to remain living on my own.

ragdoll24

blondebubbles - dont worry I would always inform all organisations/benefits first before I made any decision, I have never and would never abuse the benefit system. I was just asking the question to help me make a decision.