Would like to meet

thelionel2000

Ok people this may seem a bit off a weird topic but here we go.

I am currently single and have been for a number off years. Finally over the last year I declared bankrupt and have started a new fresh life in 2014.

What is a good dating site as seen many reviews and various comments but I guess my main question would be is how far do we go before telling someone about the BR?
I mean I am not going to bring it up on the first date but if it come to 4/5 dates down the road and she wonders why your always careful on what you spend or how you act with different situations?
I do hope this is understandable but what ever way I still need to find her first.
Thanks all

woodformoretrees

I guess once you find out whether she likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain...that'd be a good time to slip it in to the conversation.

I'd tell someone straight away, like not after you've just sat down, but in the general 'this is what I've been doing this year' type of second date conversation.

** I haven't dated for over 20 years. Does it show?

tiggerbodhi

does it really need to be told? would you tell them if you had £30K credit card debt etc? personally would go with the "man of mystery" of "I just live off grid a bit and really don't do credit cards loans and stuff, been there got the wounds to prove it" type of thing!!

woodformoretrees

Nooo, because at some stage if things get serious you'd have to mention it, and then it would seem like you'd been keeping it a secret and there'll never be a right time.

nervousandready

I have encountered similar thoughts so a good question to post! I think I would only say something to a new partner IF I thought the relationship had legs, and only at the point of necessity. I am no longer ashamed about my BR in Jan - I did what I had to do and didn't choose to end up in the situation that led me to BR.
It's obviously not ideal but hey, I guess it sorts the wheat from the chaff!
Good luck!

WickedWitch123

I also think this is something to discuss further down the line, if you're thinking of actually going into a relationship with the person.

In the end, you'll only know what feels right when you're with the person but don't let it hold you back.

You never know, they may have financial problems and might even have been BR themselves!

Good Luck x

Mojisola

WickedWitch123 wrote: »

You never know, they may have financial problems and might even have been BR themselves!

Or they might have lost a lot when someone owing them money went bankrupt.

woodformoretrees

ooph, yeah, that's going to cause a bit of an awkward silence.

WickedWitch123

Mojisola wrote: »

Or they might have lost a lot when someone owing them money went bankrupt.

That might be a "I'll get my coat" moment.

macbabypam

I think it makes you look like someone who is not afraid to tackle problems head on. That is a good thing and makes you look reliable and mature.

BR is nothing to be ashamed of but it's not really ' getting to know you' material either. If you feel the relationship may get more serious after a while then that's when you start to reveal a few of the skeletons in your cupboard , which let's face it we all have. I'm sure your lady will have some things that will make you raise you eyebrows too!

Put it to the back of your mind for now and start looking for someone to start a friendship/relationship with. My friend has just got married to someone she met on match.com and could'nt be happier.

Give it a go and don't worry about detail. Good Luck with searching for love.

woodformoretrees

macbabypam wrote: »

I'm sure your lady will have some things that will make you raise you eyebrows too!

*fnaaar*


Sorry.