Bridesmaids issues

sleines

Hi all,

I am just after some advice, we were due to get married in July but called off the wedding as it got too expensive.

I asked two friends (as well as few others) to be bridesmaids and they agreed. Ever since we called off the wedding (June last year) neither of them have bothered with me. I've text about once every other week to meet up but heard nothing back. I saw one few weeks ago and she said she'd been busy but we should meet up and she would text me - still nothing. It just seems as though they were only interested in being bridesmaids than friends (although we were close prior to me asking).

Me and OH are now thinking of starting plans for our wedding again but I am unsure if I even want these two 'friends' to be party of the wedding party. Not sure if they expect to still be part of the wedding party? I have two other friends that I wanted to ask to be bridesmaids but due to funds could not and would love them to be part of the wedding party instead.

Any advice/experience of this would be great.

Thanks

Mojisola

sleines wrote: »

I asked two friends (as well as few others) to be bridesmaids and they agreed. Ever since we called off the wedding (June last year) neither of them have bothered with me.

Me and OH are now thinking of starting plans for our wedding again but I am unsure if I even want these two 'friends' to be party of the wedding party.

"Friends"? They're not really friends, are they?

Why would you want to stay in contact with people who have cut you out of their lives?

McKneff

I would even stop texting them to be honest, if they cant be bothered to even reply why should you feel obliged to ask them to the wedding at all,

sleines

It's me trying to please everyone I guess.

I've decided to give them one last chance. If I don't hear by the end of the month that will be it.

tillyenna

sleines wrote: »

It's me trying to please everyone I guess.

And there's the key for you - you can't please everyone, and I know it's really tough to do, but its your wedding, so when it comes to the big things, just try and please yourself. Have who YOU want for your bridesmaids.


I've opted not to have one of my friends as a bridesmaid (even though we always said as children that we would) because she may/may not be moving to Australia before the wedding, and I need more stability than that - needless to say, she's stopped talking to me over it, but frankly I'm not as bothered about it as I thought I would be, because it's one less thing to stress over about the wedding.

HKitten

What were they like before they were asked to be bridesmaids? Were they in touch a lot more often then? Had they spent any money on the weeding before it was called off, such as on dresses/accessories etc etc?


I'm just wondering if there's a reason here as to why they're being so evasive.

sleines

Yes we used to meet quite often (twice a month min)

We hadn't been to look at any dresses etc so they didn't spend any money so I know it can't be that, they both also got engaged just before we called our wedding off so can't be jealousy or anything like that.

I have text them both saying I want to see them both asap so we'll see what happens then. If I hear back then I will ask them straight whats going on, if not then they would have made my mind up for me.

Stephb1986_2

They aren't really friends if they weren't/are there for you since you called off your wedding you need a good support network.

If I was you I'd speak with the other two ladies you would rather ask instead and let the other two get on with it.

Steph x

Jobseeeker

Why don't you just ask them? Is it disappointment? Do they feel they wasted time planning or going to fayres? Do they feel messed about?

If you were friends before there must be some sort of reason related to this bridesmaid thing.

societys_child

they both also got engaged just before we called our wedding off

Might be nothing to do with you calling the wedding off, maybe just moving on in life.

sleines

I don't want to ask then over text (as I usually don't have a reply) so have told them I want to meet asap. I can't see how they were messed about or wasted time etc as we didn't do anything bridesmaidy and the couldn't make any fayres due to other commitments and I had no issues with that.

I can't see it being moving on with life, yes they are engaged but surely you still keep your friends? I got engaged but still kept up with catch ups etc?