seperate accounts

thrifties

Marriage crap! Im an emotional wreck with marriage and husband. working full time earning 28k, 2 teenagers and husband does minimal help around the home. married almost 24 years, together 28 and had joint account for about 26 years. He has decided he wants to seperate accounts and have his wages paid in elsewhere then we both pay same amount in and he will still contribute more to savings so we have same amount left. I see no logic in this and he is forcing the issue, says its about being independant.
i know i need to end the marriage and will be better on my nown with kids if they want to stay with me, just very hard to make the break after so long. Little bit scared of what future holds and afraid of being on my own i guess. Any thoughts on bank split and making the break? thanks

balletshoes

as per your previous posts, this has been coming since at least Christmas time (the separation i mean).

So yes, separate your finances - what happens next year when the house is mortgage-free? I think, if you're thinking of separating from your husband as well having separate bank accounts, you should talk to a divorce lawyer.

thrifties

Yes you are right!

Savvy_Sue

There are pros and cons to separate accounts (and to joint accounts).

ATM, you can see what's going in to the joint a/c from him, and what's going out, and so can he. So if he suddenly gets a pay rise, you can see it going in. With his salary going into a single account, you may never know.

But the same is true if you have your own account too. It makes it easier for you to save independently, which if you're working towards a split is A Very Good Idea.

The other thing with a joint a/c is that either of you could run up a huge overdraft and do a runner. So if you currently have a large overdraft facility on your joint account, you might want to think about reducing that.

specialboy

Whats wrong with separate accounts? we have a couple of joint accounts and also both have a couple of accounts of our own.

FBaby

It sounds like either your husband is preparing both of you for your separation, or he has enough of you raiding the joint account and be left with bad surprises when he checks the balance.

Either way, after all these years, it doesn't look good for a future together. Separating is very hard after all this time, but if you've been thinking it is inevitable for over a year, I think you just have to accept it is something you need to plan properly.

cats2012

My Dad did this when he started having an affair and needed to hide things. Poor Mum bought the "independence" thing. Start planning your own independence...!

19lottie82

I think there is a much bigger issue here than separate bank accounts......

jaylee3

Always had a joint bank account. Don't see any need for separate ones. Sounds like someone doesn't want their partner to know something if they need to have a separate account. Separate bank accounts = separate lives IMO.

heartbreak_star

Always had separate accounts. Never seen the need for a joint one.

HBS x

margaretclare

19lottie82 wrote: »

I think there is a much bigger issue here than separate bank accounts......

It sounds like it!

On the face of it, completely logical and sensible. DH each have our own accounts into which pensions income is paid, we also have a joint account to which we both contribute. We keep this account only for payment of household bills. It's an arrangement which works well, but...it does require complete trust, an amicable relationship and no secrets on either side. DH had originally been against the idea of a joint account because, in a previous marriage, she had believed that what was hers was hers but what was his was also hers. Not amicable and no trust.

So, I guess it comes down to the quality of the relationship in the end.