Funeral flowes etiquette

butterfly72

I'm going to a relatives funeral next week. I'm very fortunate that I havent been to many and those that I did attend I was very young, hence I'm not sure about flower etiquette. I'd like to get some flowers but I dont have a clue about how to do this.

The funeral is in another part of the country. Do I need to contact a local to the area florist or will one local to me or indeed online do? Do they send the flowers to the crem or funeral parlour? Also, is there a type of flower or bouquet I should avoid? What sort of prices am I looking at?

Also, is the message to the family or actually to the deceased?

Sorry for all the questions..its just something I've never had to consider before and I appreciate the questions pale into insignificance compared to some on here.

Thanks

specialboy

Unless you are close family I would avoid flowers and put a donation in the inevitable collection box.

troubleinparadise

Depending on your closeness to the immediate family, I would contact one of them to find out what the wishes of the family are - do they want flowers, only "close family" flowers, or donations in lieu to a charity?

The funeral directors organising the funeral will also know what those wishes are, and often can give guidance as to who to use or what the arrangements are to be - delivered to them/the church/the crematorium etc. (That's assuming you know who the FD's are - perhaps again that information can come from the family?)

Cost will probably start at about £30, and the florist can guide you as to what arrangement is suitable for a funeral.

peachyprice

There really isn't any hard and fast rules. You can do any of the above. I prefer to go to the florist and choose my own, you know what your're getting then, some of the ordered flowers are dreadful.

If you take your own there will be a place at the crematorium, usually quite near the door, with the name of the deceased, you just put your flowers there. If you order them the florist will usually deliver them there if you're not a close relative, or some families ask for them to be put in the hearse with the coffin.

You can choose whatever flowers you like, a wreath, a bouquet, lilies are traditional funeral flowers as is anything purple.

The card is to the deceased. Families like to collect the cards at the end of the service to take home.

No need to avoid flowers just because you're not a close relative unless they have specifically requested that. Although do check whether the family has asked for charitable donations instead of flowers, that's quite fashionable nowdays.

InsideInsurance

Many ask for charitable donations rather than flowers these days but those that invited you should have made it clear (along with any dress code - many want none black these days).

At the last two funerals I went to we didnt send flowers, as per the instructions, but some had. In most cases the flowers were already laid out after leaving the crematorium to the outside bit but a couple had flowers with them and simply laid them with the rest.

Choosing a local company and collecting them yourself gives you a free choice on what you want. If you want them delivered and order local to you it normally will go through the likes of Interflora where you only have set options you can go for etc and certainly some will say they are more expensive and possibly not as good.

bouncydog1

At my MIls funeral we requested family flowers only and there was one wreath from the family on top of the casket.

My MIL had requested donations to a hospital where our DD spent time as a baby and to a local lifeboat as her brother was a fisherman. I would check with the funeral directors.