Just need to vent....

slates

Sorry, I just need to vent my frustration, anger and everything else.
Ive been with my fella for about 18 mths but we dont live together. Just lately he just seems to snap at me for any little reason, once he snaps at me i just go into my little hole and be quiet as it demoralises and flat. Then he has a go at me cause i'm not talking to him.
Tonight on the phone he said to me, I've misread this website or something, i'm like misread what as i didnt have a clue what he was on about (havnt got a crystal ball) and the he said narky dont worry about it.. AAAGRH so we ended up saying bye curtly and cutting the call, so now i'm in a foul mood.
I feel that i dont win whatever I do. He also started to make me feel belittled like correcting and criticising any i say or do..I'm quite hot headed so i try not to say anything as i'll end shouting etc and the full blown argument..

He is a selfish git and never really thinks about me or my feeling, but thats him and i'm sort of use to that. I often buy him little gifts only about a couple quid or so but i'd like him to treat me now and again.

I love him to bits and wish i didnt as i would tell him to go and take a hike. What can I do and i just feel like crap and just feel like calling him and having a go but that isnt the answer.

Thanks for reading

alwaysonthego_2

I know how it feels, but you don't sound happy and he can't except you for what you are. Remember you can only change yourself, nobody else. You should talk to him and tell him how he makes you feel. If he truely loves you, he will want to change. If he does not listen, then you should end this relationship. Hard, yes but lifes too short to waste it being miserable. In time you will look back and regret staying with him, when your with someone who deserves you. good luck

Timmne

Just wanted to get in before anyone says "leave him"!

It's probably just a mood he's in or maybe he thinks you don't like him anymore - being a bloke I know that our moods can be worse than women's moods sometimes (yes, even that bad) and I know that I take it out on my lovely lady when I really shouldn't.

Talk to him about it! He may not even know he's the one that's causing it....

TheWaltons_3

You don't live together... you haven't got any kids.... you don't need this grief!

Ditch him whilst you're not tied to him and be glad you've got the choice!

You deserve better and will find better.

Sharifa_2

Has your self-esteem taken a nosedive since you've been with him? It's a common reason why people stay in toxic relationships. I'd try and sort it out with him, but if he can't show you normal respect, leave him.

Angel777

Maybe he has stuff on his mind that is making him behave this way?

Has he always been like this or is it just recently?

I had a doodah with my guy too 2 weeks ago but in his case he was under lots of pressure.

Have you tried to tallk to him about how the way he is with you makes you feel? Have a chat with him and just get everything out in the open?

Hope you sort it out.

sylphraven

Read your own post again, but try & imagine its someone else whose written it, such as a mate, what would you be saying to them?

I can sympathise, I was actually living with a guy who was like yours sounds. He put me down about everything, starting off with little things. He didnt appreciate little things I did / got him, & only treated me to things on special occasions (even then I could tell they were really bought for him). Coz I was madly in love with him I put up with it. When he dumped ME it broke my heart but a few months down the line I found I was sooooooo much happier. The guy I'm with now (& have been for the past 5 years) treats me like a princess, yes we argue at times but he never puts me down. He has boosted my confidence so much that I started doing things I was scared he'd hate because of the previous *cough* guy, such as cooking from scratch, I've actually found I'm not all that bad at cooking!

Try sitting down with him & talking calmly about your relationship & feelings. It could be that he's stressed & didnt want to worry you with it, but it could be this is just the way he is. If you cant sit & talk about it or he wont stop putting you down is it really worth however long if misery? The next guy could be a better match with you.

bulchy

Hi Slates, if you love this bloke and want to sort this out, you need to talk about it honestly. Me and my hubby have been through a bit of a rough patch lately,I wont bore you with the details, but we've been having small arguments and never really resolved anything. This morning it all came to a head, and I was in floods of tears. He really opened out to me and told me things hes never told me before, gave me the reassurance I've needed, hes been taking me for granted for so long, and no amount of nagging would change things, but pouring my heart out to him and telling him how I felt seems to have worked wonders. I feel much better, only time will tell if things are going to improve in my relationship, but personally I know I've got too much to loose, as hes a great bloke. If you feel the same as me, speak to him, make him listen, then hear him out, he deserves a chance.
Hope you can get this sorted.
Sue

Oldernotwiser

How can you love somebody about whom you can say "He is a selfish git and never really thinks about me or my feeling"? It just doesn't make sense. Why are you still seeing him when you could be out meeting someone with whom you could have a real, loving relationship with a future in it.

frivolous_fay

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

How can you love somebody about whom you can say "He is a selfish git and never really thinks about me or my feeling"? It just doesn't make sense. Why are you still seeing him when you could be out meeting someone with whom you could have a real, loving relationship with a future in it.

Yep, I'm curious what it is about him that you still love.

seems to snap at me for any little reason
he has a go at me cause i'm not talking to him.
narky
He also started to make me feel belittled
correcting and criticising any i say or do
He is a selfish git
never really thinks about me or my feelings

Are you just in the habit of loving him?

GreenNinja

slates wrote: »

Sorry, I just need to vent my frustration, anger and everything else.
Ive been with my fella for about 18 mths but we dont live together. Just lately he just seems to snap at me for any little reason, once he snaps at me i just go into my little hole and be quiet as it demoralises and flat. Then he has a go at me cause i'm not talking to him.
Tonight on the phone he said to me, I've misread this website or something, i'm like misread what as i didnt have a clue what he was on about (havnt got a crystal ball) and the he said narky dont worry about it.. AAAGRH so we ended up saying bye curtly and cutting the call, so now i'm in a foul mood.
I feel that i dont win whatever I do. He also started to make me feel belittled like correcting and criticising any i say or do..I'm quite hot headed so i try not to say anything as i'll end shouting etc and the full blown argument..

He is a selfish git and never really thinks about me or my feeling, but thats him and i'm sort of use to that. I often buy him little gifts only about a couple quid or so but i'd like him to treat me now and again.

I love him to bits and wish i didnt as i would tell him to go and take a hike. What can I do and i just feel like crap and just feel like calling him and having a go but that isnt the answer.

Thanks for reading

Sounds like you are putting far more into the relationship than he is and it also sounds like he is making you unhappy.
You may find that you are better off without him, its hard being on your own but better than being with the wrong person or somebody who makes you feel worthless/unhappy.

XXX