How to prevent Son keep applying to payday lenders

ViolaLass

Marksfish wrote: »

My Wife has managed to have a calm conversation with him today. It seems it isn't as bad as we thought, but he has still defaulted on 1 of 3 of the loans, but it wasn't a huge amount!! The Wife will ring them with him tomorrow to make whatever arrangement can be made. She has also gone through his bank statement with him to make sure there are no new deposits he hasn't told us about.

The text messages weren't applications, they were companies sending him "pre approved" offers of loans. How irresponsible is that?? I am trying to get him to sign up to Noddle as I showed him the sample report, but he doesn't want to go down that road, so we have no idea what he may or may not have actually applied for.

I was pushed into a mortgage at 18 years old bouncydog1 in the late 80's, just as interest rates went to 15%. My mortgage went from £250pm to over £650pm, I only earned that!! My house was repossessed as a consequence. I also had a couple of credit cards as I was young and still wanting to have a good time, so yes, I too was irresponsible. This was in the days before CML and credit scoring as it is today, the bank would still make a manual decision. I learned the hard way through my mistakes, I just don't want to see the same mistakes made again.

You need to give him space to learn his own lessons.

Marksfish

I understand that, but at 2000 odd per cent APR, it is too expensive a mistake to make!!!

InsideInsurance

Marksfish wrote: »

I understand that, but at 2000 odd per cent APR, it is too expensive a mistake to make!!!

Not on the level of loans they offer and the length that they go over.

How can you expect him to act like an adult when you treat him like a child?

How does he learn that actions have consequences when you shield him from the consequences? He isnt going to prison for a decade for defaulting on a single loan.

Likewise, no intent to pay, leads to a cifas loading against the individual not the property.

Marksfish

I don't need yo tell me what a crap parent I am, I told you that in that in the very beginning if you would care to read it. I don't want to shiled him fro life, but I do want to help show him the error of his ways and prevent him from doing so again while under my roof. Nothing constructive to say, then please don't. There have been many helpful responses to my question, yours was not.

ViolaLass

Unless your son is an idiot, he will be clear on what you think of the amounts he has borrowed and where from. You can explain the consequences until you're blue in the face but if you're going to let/make him grow up, at some point you have to leave him to it.

e.g. why is your wife making the call with him? Why isn't he doing it on his own?

longtermplanner

I have a lot of sympathy. And I think that supporting him to make a phone call is a good idea. Don't make it for him, but be there with tea and sympathy.

I think I would try to work on his sense of outrage. Teenagers are normally pretty good at that! Point out how deep in he could have got because of these offers of approved credit. The sooner he starts thinking of short term high interest loans as a trap for the innocent, the less likely he is to fall into the trap again himself.

The good news is that nothing he does will affect your credit rating or your remortgage.

InsideInsurance

Marksfish wrote: »

I don't want to shiled him fro life, but I do want to help show him the error of his ways and prevent him from doing so again while under my roof. Nothing constructive to say, then please don't.

Youre not though, you are showing him he can take our credit with sub prime lenders at silly rates because mummy and daddy then pay it off for him.

Telling you to let him deal with his own consequences and reassuring you that it will in no way affect your credit rating is constructive. No one has said you are a bad parent, just that possibly the best way of dealing with it is by letting him deal with it.

Debt collectors, being declined for credit, harassing phone calls etc are going to massively be a better teacher of why you shouldnt get into debt etc than a man to man chat down the pub or a parental lecture.

pmduk

Perhaps using his broken phone may be a good tool to use? With a default on his record he's unlikely to be approved for a contract and while his mates may using the latest top of the range handsets. he'll be left with a basic cheap PAYG model.

michelleturner_2

Use the traditional method, Give him a slap

GingerFurball_2

Ask The Famous Cash if you can borrow his legal document and wave it threateningly at any pay day lenders.