overwhelmed

tootoo

I'm feeling so overwhelmed with everything at the mo.
my house is clean but I have so much stuff I'm constantly struggling to keep tidy.
Its toys clothes paperwork groceries.

I work part time and have two young children and feel like I go round in circles.

I try to meal plan for end up buying more groceries - my freezer and all cupboards are full to bursting
I know it will get easier when my children grow but any tips for now?
I have a pile of washing and ironing despite doing a load a day and my second load is already in today.
I'm also saving pennies where I can which I also find takes more time and effort.

BitterAndTwisted

Buy some plastic crates. Toys and clothes go in them. Never walk up or down the stairs without something in your hand to put away. Paperwork is either precious and needs to be filed (perhaps in an expansion-type folder kept in your bed-room) or burned.

The kids can tidy up their own toys before they go upstairs for their bath. If they can't do that then chuck them, they have too many.

If you hang your wet laundry up properly then not everything needs to be ironed. Hang properly and fold when dry. It's amazing how little ironing you can get away with once you've decided that not everything needs to be done.

What is this "trying to meal-plan" business? You either want to do it rigidly, want to do it but need some flexibility or need to abandon it as it can't work. Doing a meal-plan means setting aside half an hour once you've done an inventory of what you have in store and then know what you need to buy. Then you buy it and nothing else. Going out "just for bread and milk" with your purse rather than the couple of quid you really need is often fatal. That way, temptation lies, so guard against it.

Yes, running a home when you have small kids and a job does take time and effort even when you're not trying to save pennies but that has to be balanced against what you want your destination to be.

If the others in your household aren't helping you, draw a time-table or chores-list and make them. Even a three year-old can put their dirty laundry where it needs to be, not chuck wet towels on the floor and put their clean laundry away in drawers.

If you're doing a load of washing every day then I suspect you're washing clothes to be tidy rather than needing to actually clean them. Unless something other than undergarments and hosiery is actually visibly soiled it can be folded up and worn again.

Uniscots97

You say you try and meal plan but its not working out. Are you making the same for the adults as you do the kids? If not, then this is double work. When OH moved in with me he'd pandered to his kids cooking one thing for him and another for the kids. They took to having the same as the adults quite quickly. Try and keep food the same it'll save double work. Also if you cook too much, freeze extra portions then these are on hand if need a meal quickly.

trailingspouse

Why not have a weekly rota of what you eat, that way you only have to do the plan once. My mother did this, and I can still remember it!

It may be boring, but once you've developed a repertoire of meals that everyone will eat, your shopping and general organising will be cut considerably. It also means that there's less waste - if you don't eat all the stew this week, freeze the leftovers and add it to next weeks, so you don't need to buy as much next week. Or cook twice as much this week and freeze half, so next week you just have to stick it in the microwave.

Clytemnestra

:grouphug:I think you've been given some very good advice. I don't have any advice - I just want to send you a hug, and say that the most important thing is to enjoy your time with your children while they are young.

I read "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin recently, and she uses a phrase that really resonated with me (whose children are older now), that when your children are young, "The days are long, but the years are short".

She has a website too, also called "The Happiness Project".

brightonman123

don't buy any food (apart from perishables, such as milk bread etc) for a week, and go through what's in the fridge / larder..


do all clothes need to be ironed? hang out jeans / jumpers etc to dry if possible-


get the kids to help, with a toy clear up?

trailingspouse

I found this poem when my children were little, and stuck it up in the kitchen -

Quiet now cobwebs,
Dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby
and babies don't keep.

You'll get through it.

Something else that worked for me (and still does) is to have an in-tray and put ALL the paperwork that you find around the house into it. And as post comes in, that goes in too. Once a week you go through it (there's very little that's so urgent that it can't wait a few days) and do what needs to be done - chuck it out, pay it, file it, whatever. It's a good idea to do this during working hours so that if you need to make any phone calls the relevant people are likely to be available.

terra_ferma

tootoo wrote: »

I'm feeling so overwhelmed with everything at the mo.
my house is clean but I have so much stuff I'm constantly struggling to keep tidy.
Its toys clothes paperwork groceries.

I work part time and have two young children and feel like I go round in circles.

I try to meal plan for end up buying more groceries - my freezer and all cupboards are full to bursting
I know it will get easier when my children grow but any tips for now?
I have a pile of washing and ironing despite doing a load a day and my second load is already in today.
I'm also saving pennies where I can which I also find takes more time and effort.

From the way you talk I assume you are a single mother with sole responsibility for cleaning/ironing/cooking/shopping/bills etc., it must be tough for you.

practical advice:
Maybe you don't need to do so much ironing? I use a setting called 'easy ironing' and then I shake the clothes and hang them well so that they don't wrinkle too much. We don't buy clothes that are difficult to iron.

Cooking: keep it simple, I throw a few things in a slow cooker and that's a meal, even two meals if I add stuff to it.
There are plenty of easy recipes in this forum, there's a whole section full of all sorts of recipes. https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/235198

Meal planning is also a life saver for me so that I know exactly what to do, everything is there I don't need to think about it when I come home from work.
Like you however I tend to buy to much. What I do every now and again is a stocktake and I plan the following weeks using up all the stuff that I have accumulated..

lobbyludd

and above all - just try to change one thing at a time so it becomes routine and a habit, then try the next.

that one thing might be deciding that mondays will always be left-overs from the roast on sunday (if you have one), or your most stressful day will always be pasta bolognaise or that you will not iron any of x/y/z/ but hang them straight out of the washing machine (onto a hanger over the radiator or however you do it). whatever you decide to do first.

(always doesn't have to be forever, just until it stops working for you).

One thing at a time also means only one decision to have to make at a time, and it's the thinking time I find I have none of and that scuppers me.

I feel your pain on the washing front- I don't iron a thing except craft projects, and no-one has died, but have to fall about laughing at the idea that I could get away with anything less than 1 load of washing a day - perhaps my kids are stickier than the average, but in my experience from the time they are mobile until about 7 or 8 they OOZE mud/pen/clay/jam/various never identified gunges, and everything that contacts them falls prey.

pinkparrott

Hi , sorry your feeling like this , but I know just how you feel. I work 4 days - long days 14 hrs out of house and have 2 kids aged 5 and 8, and I feel just like you've described sometimes.
Like the others have said just try to do one thing at a time and try not to beat yourself up.
I'm a neat freak and the house being messy gets me really stressed and down , but its all about balance and doing the best you can , no body's perfect.
Its also about balance too with the money saving, try to save where you can , but if its between saving a bit of money and making your family life miserable or you I'll with stressors not worth it.
Take care and try not to sweat the small stuff as they say , just do what you can ,when you can. Like others have said these. Days are precious and you'll look back and wonder where they went , my 93 year old granny always says the housework will wait , kids growing up won't .

tootoo

Thank you for all replies.
some good tips which I will try and implement.
I do have a dh but he works five days a week so feels I should do all the house work
he will help out washing dishes and a quick tidy downstairs but nothing which helps greatly.
will have a look at the happiness project - thank you cly.
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