desperate housewife, reassurance needed please!

donna73

help!
i'm feeling trapped hoping some of you may be able to give me a little support.

im a stay at home mum with 2 kids , 2 1/2yr old and nearly 7yrs old.i used to be a primary teacher and chose to go from full time to supply (2 or 3 days week) after having my son. then after having my daughter stopped completely.and know that i dont want to go back to it.

i feel very lucky to be able to have a choice of whether to work or not. not that we've got much money, we get by though.have had quite a bad year financially so taken a mortgage holiday in order to try and pay off credit cards, but we're getting there now.

i dont regret giving up work as it means i can be with the kids while they're little, also we eat better -home cooked food rather than pre pack stuff. etc. but i just feel as though i'm getting really boring, feel as though people think i'm lazy as i dont juggle work and home. even though this is def not true.

feel as though i need something else as well as family and home now though, but not sure what. if i were to get a job it would have to be evenings or working from home.

sorry i'm waffling really !!!

i guess i want reassurance that other mums in my position feel the same. sometimes i love my situation, other times it really gets me down & end up feeling like 2nd rate citizen and resentful of hubby who gets to escape to work!

Sarahsaver

Have you thought about studying? Even when I was a single Mum with 3 kids I went to a local authority gym which had a creche, and did a part time college course as there was a creche there too. I also did voluntary work at SUre Start.
My ultimate aim, ideally, is to only have to work if I want to. Financially thats not yet possible but I have been somewhat derailed by there being no affordable childcare and hubby takes us out of the bracket where we would get help with childcare.
Staying indoors all day or being alone all the time is not a good idea.
Keep your own hobbies and interests and pursue those, or even develop new ones, and do not worry - you are perfectly normal;)

Spendless

I was going to suggest same thing as Sarahsaver. I started out at a womens centre (YWCA) on a free course with a free creche. After this I went to local college and used a combination of funding for 3 year olds and childcare vouchers to pay daughters nursery fees.

*zippy*

Donna I used to long for another adult to talk to when I was home all day, we didn't have the internet then so I felt very cut off. I think most mothers would understand how you are feeling.

I did get an evening job, it was hard though, after being with a little one all day sometimes the last thing I felt like doing was starting work. It did get me out the house though and as it is usually it is mothers who take these jobs so I was with people I had plenty in common with. I also started doing an evening course at a local college which helped me feel I still had a brain and get my confidence back.

zippy x

*Louise*

I am a stay at hme mum. I have boys at 7 and 2, and am due a girl later this month.

To stop me going crazy, and to have adult company, I do volunteer work with a local youth organisation a couple of nights a week.

Errata

Have you thought about how you want your life to be once the children don't need your full attention? Perhaps if you fancy a career change you could do a second degree with Open University so you're 'good to go' once you can pick up on a career again.

donna73

thanks everyone, the idea of studying does appeal to me, just need to decide what, also find a course thats not too expensive, when i looked at it last year it was the fees that really put me off, couldn't really justify spending the money.

i have been inspired by this site to start growing my own veg which i'm really enjoying, so is little one.

and i've decided to restart going to yoga classes, gave them up because of the money but will try again even if i only go every other week.

me and my daughter get out several days a week to toddler groups etc, and i do crafty type hobbies at home, but i just need something more of a challenge, will look into the studying again i think!!!

Spendless

donna73 wrote: »

thanks everyone, the idea of studying does appeal to me, just need to decide what, also find a course thats not too expensive, when i looked at it last year it was the fees that really put me off, couldn't really justify spending the money.

Ask what's available in your area for the subject you are interested in. I did a 6 month 3 day a week course that had CLAIT and word processing in it amongst other things and it only cost £15 open to everyone as it was heavily subsidised. I also couldn't have afforded hefty fees plus childcare, so I did the cheap course first, then when DD went to school nursery paid more for the next level up, but by then I wasn't paying for childcare as I did my course round her nursery hours.