Bridesmaids wearing their own dresses

29 Posts
I've have an idea for the bridesmaid dresses and wouldn't mind a bit of input from anyone who has done this or considered it.
Firstly our aim is for a very low key, relaxed and fairly small wedding, we've no colour scheme as yet (for the flowers I've just asked for colourful and in season for a June wedding) and not having formal photos.
My bridesmaids are my two best friends and I'm considering just offering them each a sum of money and letting them wear whatever they like. This way they can buy something they could wear again, are comfortable in or even use a dress they already have and spend the money on shoes/a bag/whatever they like for the wedding. It also means I don't have any stress about finding a dress to suit them both and as there are no formal photos it won't matter if they are in different colours/styles. If it makes a difference we also have a female best man who we would like to offer the same to.
If you were a bridesmaid what would you think?
Firstly our aim is for a very low key, relaxed and fairly small wedding, we've no colour scheme as yet (for the flowers I've just asked for colourful and in season for a June wedding) and not having formal photos.
My bridesmaids are my two best friends and I'm considering just offering them each a sum of money and letting them wear whatever they like. This way they can buy something they could wear again, are comfortable in or even use a dress they already have and spend the money on shoes/a bag/whatever they like for the wedding. It also means I don't have any stress about finding a dress to suit them both and as there are no formal photos it won't matter if they are in different colours/styles. If it makes a difference we also have a female best man who we would like to offer the same to.
If you were a bridesmaid what would you think?
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My friend did this for her Civil Partnership for exactly that reason - one less thing for her to co-ordinate - and, in a twist on your situation, she had a male 'honorary bridesmaid' while her partner had a 'best woman'
I was thrilled that she did it this way - With the money she gave me I was able to buy a dress from Vivien of Holloway (I had been drooling over their website for years and never thought I would ever be able to afford to actually own one) Mine and the other bridesmaid dress (and the guy's outfit) were all totally different in both colours and style but they still looked great in the photos and I have lost count of the times I've worn this dress since - it's still my most special outfit. It also acted as the gift that brides normally give to their bridesmaids.
It also meant I spent the day in London trying the VoH dresses on and a few hours in Liberties haberdashery department buying bits to make a matching fascinator type hat. One of the most indulgent feeling shopping afternoons I can remember having - so that was a gift to me too
If you wanted to make sure there's no 'clash' you could ask them to look for something that would harmonise with (not necessarily 'match') what the bride is wearing in either style or colour - that would still leave a very wide choice. My friend didn't do this - her only stipulation was that it be 'something very special that makes you feel great' - but obviously I would have been happy to oblige if she had.
If you have decisive bridesmaids who are interested in fashion/dresses then yes, I think it's a great idea. If you have bridesmaids like mine, then it might be easier to give them a little more structure.
I hasten to add, my 7 and 9 year old bridesmaids designed their dresses the day I told them they were going to be bridesmaids - and they are crazy, but brilliant designs, I can't wait to make them!
Colourful & summery, something I'll wear both to a wedding as a bridesmaid & again for fun - I'd probably barrel off to a department store, ask if they have a personal shopper, show them the money & whimper for help.
I might also like to try several & ask you which you prefer as I'm spending your money on a dress for your day.
Once I'd got the dress, sorted the ensemble, & had a ball at your wedding I'd be the lucky owner of a smashing dress with loads of good memories for which there aren't enough thanks, but getting there I would find lumpy!