Alcohol Health Problem

maggiesoup

Hi, hope someone may be able to help. I'm a wee bit worried about a friend my mine who I think may be in denial about her drinking. We both like a glass of wine (hey I'm Scottish!!) but she told me she now finds it difficult not to have a drink every night. She's not unhappy, she's got a lovely husband and two nice kids, but that she just likes a few drinks every night.

I don't think its that bad that its affecting her health as she seems perky enough but she told me that she can sometimes get through a bottle of wine a night, two if she's got company, and I just worry that that far too much. and that her health will suffer soon. She's in late 40's, not overweight, and doesn't smoke.

We have talked about over-drinking, as it really is a problem in Scotland and most families have an alcoholic in the family. But I'd like to know what future problems she may be causing herself and at least give some educated advice.

Thanks in advance

stebiz

I think it is a lot more common than people think. It isn't uncommon for people to open a bottle of wine on a regular basis at home - something unheard of 15-20 years ago.

I open a bottle of wine (and with my wife not being a drinker) often drink the bottle myself but I do try and keep it to a Saturday night or at most a couple of times a week. We all know the damage that excessive drinking can do. We all know how cigarettes can damage your health. We all know fatty foods put yourself at risk of a heart attack. We all know excessive sun exposure can cause skin cancer. We all make those decisions. Tell her you are concerned and then lay off - or you risk losing a friend. Don't mean this to sound harsh and I know you mean well but sometimes you just have to try and switch off.

Stebiz

parkside_stroller

A few services out there - depending on where you live.

Here is some mainly Edinburgh and Lothian stuff - it's the area I'm most familiar with.

For example a women's only service in Edinburgh and Lothians is http://www.librascotland.org.uk/

I think that is more for people who have a problem/concerns about themself but if you go there and click on the links on the left of the page you will see ELCA - who give advice to concerned family, partners, friends etc

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/index.asp is a UK wide organisation. Go to their homepage and click on What is Al Anon to get a drop down menu that will give you information on the organisation. You can find a group via this link that is in your area.

Large list of Scottish Alcohol Problem services Here.

If you want to talk to a person in confidence and anonymously you can call Drinkline on 0800 917 8282 for advice on alcohol issues.

The bottom line is your friend is exceeding her safe limit for drinking in a week. A lot of people don't really understand what this is so here is another link - it is for a safe drinking calculator.
http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/magazine/interactive/drinking/index.aspx

In a nutshell, abuse of alcohol can have an impact on any organ in the body, that fact that your friend finds it difficult not to have a drink is in itself an indication of a problem.

Hope this helps.

parkside_stroller

stebiz wrote: »

I think it is a lot more common than people think. It isn't uncommon for people to open a bottle of wine on a regular basis at home - something unheard of 15-20 years ago.

I open a bottle of wine (and with my wife not being a drinker) often drink the bottle myself but I do try and keep it to a Saturday night or at most a couple of times a week. We all know the damage that excessive drinking can do. We all know how cigarettes can damage your health. We all know fatty foods put yourself at risk of a heart attack. We all know excessive sun exposure can cause skin cancer. We all make those decisions. Tell her you are concerned and then lay off - or you risk losing a friend. Don't mean this to sound harsh and I know you mean well but sometimes you just have to try and switch off.

Stebiz

Unfortunately Stebitz "we" don't all know how damaging alcohol can be - there are a lot of misconceptions out there about what constitutes safe drinking and a lot of people don't know how alcohol abuse affects the body.
There are also a lot of people who know something is doing them harm but choose to ignore it or try to rationalise it.

Perhaps the OP can make an educated decision on what, if anything to do,
by seeking out some information from specialist services for people like her (concerned friends).
Sure she could risk losing a friend by tackling the issue in the wrong way but if she gets some advice first, the risk of doing this would be diminished.

belfastgirl23

My own experience (and alas I have quite a bit of it being Irish) is that you won't be able to have any effect on your friend's drinking. Tackling the issue head on is very very difficult and I think is very unlikely to have the outcome you want. More likely she will be hostile and defensive and wonder who you are to say this to her and it will be a row. Sorry, I know this isn't good news.

But I think you can try to get your way to it gently once in a while. Partly by setting an example, eg turning down a drink or whatever because you're 'a bit worried about your own drinking and you like to have a couple of days a week when you don't drink just to prove to yourself you can do it' (it doesn't have to be true). Also you could comment on the cost of drinking or that it's making you put on weight or you're worried about cancer or whatever you think might push a button for her. I think you might need to talk about yourself to get her to think about herself. If she brings it up about herself then you can gently say something like 'we could both do with cutting down' again making sure that you don't reassure her that her drinking is okay. If your time together is usually spent drinking (let's face it, it's what most of us do with our friends) could you come up with other activities instead?

But the other thing is for you to accept that to all intents and purposes you can't do anything about it and should try not to worry about it. I know, easier said than done, but it's an approach I've had to adopt in my own life. You can't control the other person, all you can control is your own reaction.

Good luck. I do know how hard it all is!