Giving kids money

needing-help

I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable! My oldest son (16) has just just stomped out of the house because I wouldn't give him any money for lunch while he's out.
I was in the process of making lunch for everyone so my reasoning is that its his choice to eat out so why should I pay. Of course I got that well used teenage line....everyone else's parents do!!!
I pay for his mobile contract but he has to do jobs in the house and he has a paper round so has his own money.
Am I being the worst mother in the world (again!)

balletshoes

nope - if he has his own money why would you give him money for lunch out?

Indie_Kid

I don't think you are. It was the same when I was his age - any pocket money I was given, if I wanted things like food whilst out, I had to buy it out of my pocket money. I couldn't have pocket money and then ask for more money for food.

Mayflower10cat

Actually, my Mum would have had forty fits if I'd 'announced' I needed money to buy lunch with my friends - just when she was in the middle of preparing a meal for us all!

laurel7172

If parents had a pound for every time we'd heard the "Everyone else's parents" line, we could afford to give them money for lunch.



Eating out is an extra and should be funded by allowance. And, so far, you can say everyone else's parents say so.

needing-help

Mayflower10cat wrote: »

Actually, my Mum would have had forty fits if I'd 'announced' I needed money to buy lunch with my friends - just when she was in the middle of preparing a meal for us all!

That argument was had as well.... guess what he's having for tea lol.

Thanks everyone I feel better now. Part of the problem is one of his mates clicks his fingers and gets everything he wants.

Mojisola

It's a really important lesson for him - money can only be spent once so, if he wanted to have lunch out, he needed to save for it or find some way of earning a bit more.

Some of the other parents probably were giving their kids the lunch money but that's what happens in their house and not yours!

duchy

Maybe they would like to adopt him ?

My response would be "Well lucky Ben but that's not how it works in this house" (and ignore the strop)

needing-help

The really annoying thing is he has £300 in his bank account but he doesn't want to spend that because he's saving up!!

balletshoes

needing-help wrote: »

The really annoying thing is he has £300 in his bank account but he doesn't want to spend that because he's saving up!!

its great that he's saving, but he needs to learn to budget for his days out too.

BitterAndTwisted

I think you're being perfectly fair and reasonable. You planned to cook a lunch, he decides he doesn't want it so he makes his own arrangements. With his own money.

"Everybody else's parents do X, Y or Z" is the oldest blackmail-attempt in the book. Don't fall for it.

Your house, your rules and that's the end of it.