End of days

tiger_eyes

macbabypam wrote: »

The first step to your recovery is recognising that you need help and I think you have done that with this post. Keep the momentum up and make an appointment with your GP on Monday, you have told a public forum how you feel, now tell someone who can really help you.

longtermplanner wrote: »

Forget about the BRU still being on your credit file, it doesn't matter.

What matters is your mental health. If you feel too hopeless to go to your doctor, that is depression talking. Make yourself a doctor's appointment. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain, it's not a moral failing or a sign of inadequacy. If you can't face getting out of the house to go to the doctor, or you want to talk this weekend, call the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90

Just thirding the request to make an appointment with your GP as a matter of urgency. What you're feeling is not normal. I believed that what I was going through was permanent and incurable - then I read that up to 80% of cases of depression can be successfully treated with therapy and medication and I went straight to my GP. Pick up the phone 8am Monday morning and call your GP.

toomuch2

wharty wrote: »

I will give you a few links to videos and books i have read in the past and i hope it helps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgmVOuLgFB0&list=PLZMNKJ69MALLTeH1KXZCYvOZ-Jb07EbqO&index=2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-jwWYX7Jlo&list=PLZMNKJ69MALLTeH1KXZCYvOZ-Jb07EbqO&index=3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOy0YgUDwDg&list=PLZMNKJ69MALLTeH1KXZCYvOZ-Jb07EbqO&index=6

These videos wont be to everybody's taste but they helped me and i hope it helps you too.

I am a cynical old git, but found these up lifting. Thank you for for the links

funnymonday18_2

Many thanks for all your posts,they've all been very helpful.I just wrote out a long updated reply,but this web page has crashed & I didn't save it!
Not to worry,i've had a weekend of change & will post later tonight,it's all very very positive.

woodformoretrees

I'm really pleased to see you posting. I did check each time I logged on.
Hope this lovely weather is shining on you too today.

funnymonday18_2

My post on Friday was titled End Of Days.This post is called End of PTSD & Bankruptcy Days.Thank you very very much for all the posts,even the guy who said the BR was an excuse for depression.I've had a very reflective weekend,a great 2 days in fact.Saturday I went to work,drove 200 miles,met people I knew & took time away from my problems.I worked out a plan A,B & C.A & B is doing a new project which has been on the drawing board for years.I've so far not done it due to PTSD fear & anxiety which has built in my head.The horrible Fear monster which has gripped my mind since the BR.It's a feeling of despair to nowhere."what if it fails","what if i don't get the business" etc.I prepare to start then I get anxious,nervous,adrenaline,brain fog etc & guess what? nothing happens.This leads to frustration,paranoia & then resentment,jealousy of others because they're doing better than me etc.Wasted days,months,years etc.Then I think about the BR & BRU which is like a final nail into my mind.
It's now time that the Fear Monster in my head has to go.What's he done for me? nothing.So when a Fearful thought enters my head I simply cancel it out by saying to myself "where's this going to get me? where has this taken me? All it's done is create a life of misery".
The longer it's gone on,the the worse it's got.For example,I'd always think that I wasn't going to get anymore money so scraped on what I had,meaning a poverty mindset.Inward thinking,driven by fear,dictated by fear.I'm praticising it now,cancelling out the fear thinking,simply saying to myself "this is NOW CHANGING,not tomorrow,next week or next month,NOW.
The problem was that the fear sat in my subconcious mind,it's the part of the mind which always delivers solutions to problem.It's the part of the brain which drives you on & contains all the great feelings,self discpline & your experience etc.It's like a backup hard drive with all the data.My problem was that it got courrupted & worn down.It fed me black images of despair and fear.
Tackling the fearful thoughts is now my new challenge.Waking up in the middle of the night several times every night,feeling hopeless,that I've wasted my life.Again,the mind just spewing the negativity brought on by the BR & PTSD.
I'm now changing the mind back to how it should be,positive & productive.Happy.With the PSTD Fear monster my head's been like a leaking bottle of water,all the goodness spilling out through sabotage.How was I ever going to change my life if I carried on doing the same things living by fear & anxiety.
It's not going on anymore.I'm now challenging the credit file company with the BRU credit file duration.How can a BRU stay on a credit file for 6 years if the BRU is valid for 5 years? How is that fair If a BRU is valid for 15 years but stays on for 6 years?
I'm drilling down into this,the credit file company don't know!!! they're looking into it.As I'm writing this,now on the phone to the OR and Information Commissioner finding out what the rule is.The latter have told me that there is no law or rule.It was all formed in 1971,called the Crowther Report where all credit companies agreed 6 years would be the duration for info on credit files.I can complain to the IC if I feel I've been treated unfairly by the credit file agencies.This is progress.So there is no law on 6 years rules! we're living by a report made in 1971!!!
Plan C is to take out a secured loan on my house once the BRU has expired.If there's a shortfall on my Plan A & B cash target then plan C will be there.
It means I can move out of the house of pain,to a place I want to be,it will also leave the memories behind.I fought for my house,the value dropped after the bank crash,the Trustee couldnt do anything,no equity.Now it's gone up in value & I'm in a far better position.Also,the 3 years has gone since the BR date so it's all mine now.My sub prime mortgage lender tried to repo me 4 years ago.I wrote to the Judge & appeared in court,the arrears were paid over time & the repo order struck out.I then fought for £2k in late payment fees & won them with the help of the Financial Ombudsman.
It'll take a while for the Fear monster to totally go,but I'm not going to waste anymore time being a slave to the fear & negativity it's given me.
I'll get my mind straightened out,i've already started the process & the habit of shunning the Fear monster.I know I'll have some bad days but I'll beat it.Even today it's amazing how bad it all is,so much I do has been dictated by it.
The mental energy channels have to be gradually re-directed.I've phoned the Samaritans over the years,they're great but my root problem is one I've identified.I didn't realise it then dominoed into something really so terrible.Only I can deal with it & resolve it.
I've read loads of books,watched videos,listened to music all for inspiration but they were always cancelled out by the fear.NOT ANYMORE.
Thanks for reading,it's End Of PTSD Days.

funnymonday18_2

It's tough changing my mindset,I knew it would be.Like watching two tv's at once then realising that I'm wasting my time watching one of them.This is hard but it's the only way to a better life.And I've found out there's no 6 yr rule for a BRU on a credit file.