End of days

funnymonday18_2

And finally I'm broken,even after 6 years with a BR now not on my credit file.
Made BR against my wishes,hounded down by a Trustee who didn't get what he wanted thanks to the bank crash 6 yrs ago.
Crap legal advice from a lawyer who was a mate of the Trustee & connected to the OR.
Then forced into a signing a BRU only cos my mind was smashed & I couldnt face a court battle.Not to mention any money.
Being self employed the BR becomes a distraction,it's done nothing but given me a poverty mindset.One of despair.
I'm isolated,little work,but what's worst of all,is my mind is broken.I've tried desperatley to rebuild it.But's it's smashed to pieces.Confidence,self-belief,inner feelings,all gone.Like a car which runs for a few miles then breaks down.I've had so much trauma in my life from a very young age,but the BR has totally put a bullet through my head.My BR listing on my credit file came off last month.HURRAH!!!!!!!! but the BRO won't be gone for another 14 months.That's the bit I can't take.
I'm driven down,have no more purpose,smashed,nothing to look forward to,a broken mind & nothing else.No friends,family,social life,few contacts,no holidays,nights out.Only jealousy & resentment when I look at others.I want to thank Martin Lewis for being totally brilliant,his site helped me reclaim bank charges etc.He fought for the truth & what is right.
Would also like to thank everyone on here in the past who's helped me.This is a truly great site.
I've never recovered from the post traumatic stress disorder which going BR handed out to me.When you stay in your house for 90% of the time each week on your own for 7 years you become institutionalised.You forget what's real,your fears grow bigger but then you end up deciding not to care anymore.When you're in your late 40's with no life & you keep looking back to better days you realise that you no longer have a life.
In schools they should teach that the 2 main components in life are money & law.The more money you have the more life becomes better.If you owe money & can't pay it then law is used against you to take whatever you have & to effectively smash your life to pieces.I'm on my own,with little money.Life isn't a rehearsal.
I shan't be going to my doctor for a 3 minute appointment.Or speaking to a counsellor so I can repeat my problems to make my mental cirriculum even worse.I can't face doing anything new,I've tried so many time but my mind fills up with dread,nerves,anxiety & a fear of failure.Pointless trying to get a girlfriend,yeah I'm such a great catch.Have been single for 8 years,but lets face it,I can't even look after myself let alone anyone else.If you've read this far then I apologise for the minutes of your life you won't get back.I don't want any sympathy,am beyond help as the damage has been done.Mental health & physical health have sadly deteriotated.I was once very ambitous,used to really enjoy life,enjoy waking up,enjoy talking to people,seeing people,helping people.That now seems like a totally different life.Now it's avoiding things,not going anywhere.I live in a town I don't want to live in but I can't move as I haven't got enough money & of course have a BRU on my credit file.Thanks OR.My phone stopped ringing,invites all stopped about 5 years ago.My fault,I didnt want to go.The devastation of the BR & trauma of it for over 6 years(over 7 if you count the IVA thing)all has tattooed my brain so hard the pain will never go away.Never thought I'd end up being like this & writing these words.Maybe things happen for a reason & that the BRU really was a definitive coded message telling me it's end of days.God Bless.

woodformoretrees

Don't let the b4st4rds beat you, FunnyMonday.
I wanted to reply to your post as I can hear the blackness in your words. I have literally no idea how to offer any comfort to you but I hold out my hand x

skintandfat

I am self employed and have been bankrupt- now discharged

I hope you get your act together but you need to take control of your life.

Don't let the barstewards grind you down.

You need to start working and meeting people, you have got the next 20/30 years to make a new start.

Giving up now just lets the system win - you have done the hard bit, you have been discharged and will soon be released from the BRO.
Then you will have no ties to your former problems.

Don't go out looking for a girlfriend- someone comes along when you least expect it

Have you thought about taking a dog needing re-homing?
This will require you to go out (to walk the dog), get you into a routine and force you to meet new people ( as you will be walking a dog you will have a something in common)

Knowing my luck you will be allergic to pet hair and I will not make your day.

Broceliande

Funnymonday,I registered simply to respond to you. I cannot stand silent listening to what you are putting yourself through. What happened to you was ghastly, to put it mildly. Others did it to you. And they are still doing it now. Because you are allowing them to do so. As hard as it is to consider just now, I am asking you to take a break from "them", from the part of yourself that may believe that you are in any way responsible for what happened and leave it for a day, or two or as long as it takes to feel the fighter that is there to come out of the rubbles and stand straight once more. I read in your post that you are there somewhere. You are all that matters and are worth a hell of a lot more than any ... who tried to walk over you. It does suck, I know, but nobody can ever be allowed to put a good man down. And it seems to me that you are a good guy who paid a dear price for other people failings and failure. You can't let it continue. I am expecting you to win, if not tonight, then tomorrow or the next day. I have no doubt that you are a winner. Keep kicking as hard as you can.

dojoman

Why did you receive a BRU?

alastairq

A BRO/BRU isn't the end of the world..and unless you want to be CEO of Barclays BAnk, shouldn't have any sort of real impact on you.

BAnkruptcy offers the opportunity for a fresh start....a new beginning.

It would be inadvisable, on a personal basis, to view BR as a 'breathing space' to enable one to continue along one's original path.

[on a professional basis, it is a tool to achieve just that, however]

I'm sorry, but to me it appears the bankruptcy is the 'excuse' to justify the depression.

It's been said before, and will be said again, help in dealing with the depression is needed.

Forget the BR, forget the BRO.....they are not important.

Mr_F_Dorsetty

For the OP.

I read your post, it was not a waste of my life.

You need to talk, you need to vocalise what you have written here because until you get that out of you then you cannot start to rebuild your life.

My advice, ring the Samaritans and just talk. They do not judge, they do not offer advice, they do not interject, they just listen.

It is not 'weak' people who ring the Samaritans or similar, we all need help at times to help ourselves.

Good fortune to you.

macbabypam

You only have 14 months left, you've done the longest part. Honestly, you need to address your mental health before you can move on to the next part of your life. Do it now so that when the 14 months is up, you really will be able to move on. Girlfriends, going out, friends etc are all just detail that will come together in time, once you are in a place to participate.

As you said " life is'nt a rehearsal", so don't let this episode spoil the rest of your time on this earth. BR can easily put you in the blackest of places, and most of the BR's on this forum understand that feeling. Recovering from a major life event such as BR is a process, it is one you must allow yourself to pass through and if you get stuck at any point then you must seek help and advice to let you continue.

The first step to your recovery is recognising that you need help and I think you have done that with this post. Keep the momentum up and make an appointment with your GP on Monday, you have told a public forum how you feel, now tell someone who can really help you.

Good Luck, life will get better, but you need to let people help you and realise your own limitations in dealing with this problem.

No.Looking.Back

Funnymonday 18,

That post was in the fairly early hours of the morning so maybe a couple beers had brought the emotions out a bit?

I can only second everything that Skinandfat has said!!

I am self employed & was discharged from my Bankruptcy almost 4 years ago. I felt in a lot of ways-prior to that day-like you do now..

I'm having a bit of a mish getting a few things in order now like credit files/mortgage applications etc but I see that all as a process that I will work through and in the very near future. It can get a bit stressful at times but its just a project that's soon to be completed..

The day I went Bankrupt (& believe me I spent a year trying to find an alternative, my life a mess, work suffering, incapable of a relationship, rock bottom!) was ironically one of the best days of my life! It released me! Almost that very day half my stress & depression evaporated. I had to educate myself before and after on it (I still am!). Debt Councelling Services, this forum, google etc how to do this how to do that. It's all a game u have to play but that's life mate! Small change if u ask me. I've done all the credit building tricks (that all of us are able to do), got credit cards, tidying up my credit files, eying up potential lenders for a mortgage..

I've even also been in a stable relationship for the last 2 years...

What I'm trying to say is EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!! There are many people & organisations that will help you! But.. The world doesn't owe you a damn thing! You have to make some moves

Believe me when I say you have potential a great life ahead of you!!

The picture you painted was the rich & powerful & the institutions (Golliath) reining down on the weak & defenceless (David).

I have knews for u son...... David WON!!

Go and claim what rightfully yours.. A happy & fulfilling future!

longtermplanner

Forget about the BRU still being on your credit file, it doesn't matter.

What matters is your mental health. If you feel too hopeless to go to your doctor, that is depression talking. Make yourself a doctor's appointment. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain, it's not a moral failing or a sign of inadequacy. If you can't face getting out of the house to go to the doctor, or you want to talk this weekend, call the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90

wharty

I am not sure what to say really other than to throw a few things back at you in a more positive manner.

1) You ONLY have 14 months of your BRU left-That's good!

2) You have no friends, so therefore a perfect opportunity to make new ones-That's good!

3) Your Inner feelings have gone? No they haven't, you just spilled your guts to us? You do have inner feelings- That's good!

4) The most important things in life are money and Law-WRONG. You have been programmed to think that the more you pay for something the more valuable it is, when actually it's the things we get for free that we should Truly value the most. Law is important but more so for honest decent people like you. Law gave you a fresh start in the form of a bankruptcy but is also punished you to possibly protect your creditors. It works both ways-That's good!

5) You're Jellous and resentful? Of what? The guy you don't know, who has a nice car and big house? 80% of vehicles on the road are financed and most people have a mortgage. He and his wife probably have to work 60 hours a week each to protect their image, the image they want YOU to see. They probably have a child minder to look after their children but wish they could be there to do it themselves. Their lives are probably not as good as you think.

6)Anxiety and fear. Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. Spending all your time in your house makes you THINK, IMAGINE AND VISUALISE a future that may never happen. Humans are the only beings on Earth capable of becoming anxious over something that may never happen, through over use of their imagination. It's not as bad as you imagine- That's good!

7) Life is not a rehearsal. You're right. BUT. You're only in your 40's so in theory you could have another 40 years to live!! So actually you rehearsed the first 40 years of you life and made an almighty !!!! up. Apply the lessons you learnt in the rehearsal and don't !!!! it up again. Remember, Sometimes you're ahead and sometimes you're behind, but in the end the race is only with yourself!. You have a second 40 years- That's good!

One more thing on life. "It aint about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward". Rocky Balboa.

I will give you a few links to videos and books i have read in the past and i hope it helps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgmVOuLgFB0&list=PLZMNKJ69MALLTeH1KXZCYvOZ-Jb07EbqO&index=2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-jwWYX7Jlo&list=PLZMNKJ69MALLTeH1KXZCYvOZ-Jb07EbqO&index=3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOy0YgUDwDg&list=PLZMNKJ69MALLTeH1KXZCYvOZ-Jb07EbqO&index=6

These videos wont be to everybody's taste but they helped me and i hope it helps you too.