csa nightmare help please urgently wanted

Poppie68

DUTR wrote: »

Not that bullying line again
I agree though the child will suffer and it's the pwc and themselves that will have to answer to themselves in reality.

So you are accusing me of bullying because i am pointing out that any decent parent at some point in their life would regret not making an effort to have contact with their child.?

DUTR

Poppie68 wrote: »

So you are accusing me of bullying because i am pointing out that any decent parent at some point in their life would regret not making an effort to have contact with their child.?

Heh heh, I don't want to fall out with you or turn the thread into an argument, you have to believe though not every parent is indecent for not having regrets over not reacting to being excluded, sometimes these things come back to haunt the excluders, so it works two ways and as every case is different, only time will tell, however so far no regrets

duchy

DUTR wrote: »

The access / morals is a different topic, I stick with my view on that as whilst I understand not every case is the same, in the 21st century of equality, I'm not so sure why so many say 'they do it on their own' when around every corner they recieve help from one source or another.

Single parents (whether by choice or not) may get financial help -but parenting isn't just about finance. I worked part-time/full time and raised my child who has Aspergers single handed. A bit of extra WTC didn't make dealing with a sick child or the sheer isolation of not having anyone to help with the load when times got tough(as they do for all families sometimes) any easier.

The thing that astounds me about cases like this isn't the men who ignore their kids when they move on to new relationships......it's the new women who go on to have more children with a man who has already abandoned their earlier child or children financially and access-wise. My thinking would be-If they can do it to one of their children there's a greater chance they'd do the same to mine -and who wants that kind of a man to father their child ?

DUTR

duchy wrote: »

Single parents (whether by choice or not) may get financial help -but parenting isn't just about finance. I worked part-time/full time and raised my child who has Aspergers single handed. A bit of extra WTC didn't make dealing with a sick child or the sheer isolation of not having anyone to help with the load when times got tough(as they do for all families sometimes) any easier.

The thing that astounds me about cases like this isn't the men who ignore their kids when they move on to new relationships......it's the new women who go on to have more children with a man who has already abandoned their earlier child or children financially and access-wise. My thinking would be-If they can do it to one of their children there's a greater chance they'd do the same to mine -and who wants that kind of a man to father their child ?

However not every parting is because of the male or that they should put up with anything that is thrown at them, they seek to be content too. :eek:

bll78

Yes some men do abandon their children financially and emotionally and it isn't right. It has to be said though it's not just men that are the ones in the wrong.
Some women go out of their way to make it difficult for the father to see the child as punishment that they had dare leave them, and then bleat that the father doesn't care.
I can give 4 examples of fathers being punished, but not one where a man has skipped off into the distance and abandoned the child. 2 examples of this:-
One a father who completed a 7 hour round trip weekly to see his son only to be turned away at the door by the mother because he had a new girlfriend. When the child got older and the father took him to his house, everytime without fail the mother would call with an 'emergency' needing the child home. She even hid the childs passport so he couldn't go on holiday with his father. Throughout it all she whined that he was a cr!p father and didn't care.
The other example is what my brother is currently suffering at the hands of my SIL, who stopped him having contact because he was a bad father. Funny how he suddenly became a bad father whilst he was away for the weekend with his new girlfriend, the week before he'd had the child as usual with no issue.
It's also amazing how these children seem to think their fathers are a waste of space which is no doubt caused by the influence from their mothers. Courts don't seem to help, no matter what the rulings the mothers flout them which costs the father thousands to go back to court again and again.
I've seen men sobbing because of the vitriolic actions of mothers, and when they break and can't take any more and decide it's better for the child to stop the constant fighting they're the one in the wrong.
I know what you're thinking, and no I'm not a man. I'm a women whose seen friends and relatives suffer. The child is both parties and they should be made to BOTH act in th interest of the child.

Lovetoread

bll78 wrote: »

Yes some men do abandon their children financially and emotionally and it isn't right. It has to be said though it's not just men that are the ones in the wrong.
Some women go out of their way to make it difficult for the father to see the child as punishment that they had dare leave them, and then bleat that the father doesn't care.
I can give 4 examples of fathers being punished, but not one where a man has skipped off into the distance and abandoned the child. 2 examples of this:-
One a father who completed a 7 hour round trip weekly to see his son only to be turned away at the door by the mother because he had a new girlfriend. When the child got older and the father took him to his house, everytime without fail the mother would call with an 'emergency' needing the child home. She even hid the childs passport so he couldn't go on holiday with his father. Throughout it all she whined that he was a cr!p father and didn't care.
The other example is what my brother is currently suffering at the hands of my SIL, who stopped him having contact because he was a bad father. Funny how he suddenly became a bad father whilst he was away for the weekend with his new girlfriend, the week before he'd had the child as usual with no issue.
It's also amazing how these children seem to think their fathers are a waste of space which is no doubt caused by the influence from their mothers. Courts don't seem to help, no matter what the rulings the mothers flout them which costs the father thousands to go back to court again and again.
I've seen men sobbing because of the vitriolic actions of mothers, and when they break and can't take any more and decide it's better for the child to stop the constant fighting they're the one in the wrong.
I know what you're thinking, and no I'm not a man. I'm a women whose seen friends and relatives suffer. The child is both parties and they should be made to BOTH act in th interest of the child.

I too am a woman and wholeheartedly agree!!

I've witnessed some hideous, unforgivable things from mothers to their child's father! And as they are the main caregiver they are seen as the perfect ones who do no wrong but behind closed doors can and do cause huge amounts of psychological abuse. It's such a shame people judge on what they see without knowing the full story.