Bank of mum and dad

RustyPots

I was very lucky.
Me and my partner got to live at home rent free for just over a year. They gave us about £12k for house things and let us stay an extra 18 months rent free whilst we did the house up, not to mention helping us with decorating etc.

I'm very fortunate to be an only child with two parents who have been fortunate enough to have good jobs and good savings. I did not, and do not expect anything from them, but it's lovely they could give us such a wonderful start.

System

I don't have a good relationship with my parents (barely on speaking terms) but when they found out we were buying they offered £20k. By this point I already had a mortgage in principle anyway. I refused but they said think of it as a contribution to my sons childhood home.

I reluctantly accepted but then oh my lord the opinions began! My house wasn't good enough, the one for sale down the street with the red door was better (it wasn't), perhaps look at a better area (this area was better than their suggestions) blah blah blah.

Told them to shove their gift in the end. Probably not what this thread is about :rotfl:

egoode

My parents paid for my living costs for my first 4 years at University. I paid for my final year and then I've had nothing from them since. Since I've left Uni I've moved permanently to the other side of the world, traveled to lots of countries and now finally buying a flat in London. It's been hard but I'm proud I've managed to do all that on my own.

dodger1

If I had the money to give (I don't) and I didn't rely on the interest or indeed the capital then I would gift it to my children. It would be of far more use to them now rather than in the future when I pop my clogs.

isisini

My parents gifted my fiance and I £50k when we bought our first home. We saved a further £20k for stamp duty, fees, renovation work. We were exceedingly grateful as prices in London were going up faster than we could save (and a year on, very glad we were able to buy somewhere before help to buy heated the market even further). The money came from the sale of my Grandparents' house after they sadly passed away.

Their rationale was that it was our future inheritance, and they would rather we used it now to help us find a stable place to live. I hope I would do the same for my children if I were in a position to do so.

Abbymoo

Not a penny from anyone, gifted, inherited or otherwise. Nor did we have the luxury of living at home and saving a deposit. In fact we both supported our parents from a young age. All we got from our relatives was premature grey hair and a selection of nervous breakdowns. Weirdly, I wouldn't have it any other way now. It's massively satisfying knowing we've done it all ourselves.

moneyistooshorttomention

Many many years ago (ie I am Baby Boomer Generation) I received £600 as a gift from my parents when I bought the house.

Don't know what that would be worth now and I will hazard a very very rough guess indeed at around £5,000 in today's terms.

My father did give me a lot of DIY help in getting my first house sorted out and that was/is appreciated but that few hundred £s was the extent of financial help at the time. There were several equivalent size bits of financial help subsequently (as in paying for specific items) and these were gifts.

Bit of a mixed bag feeling about it. On the one hand I wasn't in a position to turn down any offers of help I could get from anywhere, though I would have liked to be totally independent. On the other hand, I have some knowledge of what help my sibling got and things needed to be fair between us or said sibling would have been better treated than me and that would have upset me iyswim. In the event, as far as I can work out, my sibling has come out with more help than I had and that is difficult to "deal with" for me.

Not an easy situation.

My ideal situation would have been for me not to feel the need for any help whatsoever from parents (to keep my independence) AND for my sibling not to get any help at all either (ie to ensure we were treated exactly equally).

choccyface2006

Our parents are mortgage free and have money but we didn't have nor expect any financial help towards our house purchase, our deposit was saved over 8/9 years whilst renting a house.

We did get a £50 gift card as a moving in present though!

My sister was given £150k to buy her first house and my friend was given a house by her in laws, are they any happier for it? I don't think so!

I think we love our house all the more because we saved hard for it ourselves.

Sarah x

moneyistooshorttomention

I think a related question is "What help would we/have we given ourselves to children we have?".

Guessing that my own answer (if I had had children) would be along the lines ideally (ie if I could afford it) of I would like to give them:

- However much deposit they needed to buy a starter home in their area dependant on them receiving whichever they received out of standard Low Level income for that area or Decent Income.

- Cover the fees to buy the house

- Give them, say, £5,000 towards furnishing the house

After that, I would keep a watchful eye on whether they were making all reasonable efforts to maintain their income/spend it carefully or no and whether they ended up in a situation where they were "doing their best" but, due to no fault of their own, couldn't cover their mortgage payments and, in that case, I would step in and help if I could afford to.

The level of help I had decided to give would have to be contingent on what my own personal finances dictated obviously. I would just be taking the overall view that I shouldn't "spoil" them on the one hand and would expect some effort on their part BUT on the other hand know what it would be reasonable for them to expect as regards their standard of living and would help, if I could, if they couldn't achieve it on their own (despite their best efforts).

thestens

My grandma gave us £500 for a deposit on a house when we got married in 1974. 3 years ago my mum gave her grandson and his partner £30 000 for their deposit. Possibly about the same, allowing for inflation? We have all been very grateful for the help and my husband and I hope that maybe one day we can help our grandchildren in the same way.