My elderly dad

xylophone

They stay in a house with bedroom and toilet upstairs

You mention that your parents are council tenants - have you checked with the council to see if there is any more suitable accommodation available for your parents?

comeandgo

Hi a lady called today, my mum thinks it was a physio, she is arranging a stair lift, grab handles, a seat that gets dad in and out of the bath and is coming back with forms for attendance allowance. She was also going to get a hospital bed for him but mum has gone out and bought one for dad. Mum is a bit uncomfortable with accepting the attendance allowance, or my dad is, as she is doing what anyone would do, look after a loved one, but it has been so easy rather than the fight we were expecting. These things all mean they can stay in the house where they have been for many years and continue to have the great help and support of the neighbours and friends close by.

Mr_Lawnmower

This all sounds very positive. It's possible the visitor was an occupational therapist - it seems to depend on the area as to whether it's an OT or a physio that carries out this type of visit.


Your post touches on lots of important but intangible things - staying in familiar surroundings, being in the family home and being surrounded by a good support network. It is best for all concerned to keep someone at home whenever possible.

Try to reassure your mum it's OK to ask for help. I can understand her desire to care and not to want any fuss, but she needs to make sure that she doesn't finish up exhausted.


So far as the bed goes, there's a few things that might be difficult or impossible on a privately bought bed that are possible with most community loan beds.

If your father needs care in bed, such as bed baths, carers might not bet happy to proceed without the facility to elevate the entire bed so that they don't need to bend down.

A privately bought bed may lack the facility to accept hospital type mattresses with waterproof covers (important for incontinence) and that are designed to protect against pressure sore risk.

Community loan beds typically have provision to fit a monkey pole (a grab handle over the bed to pull up on) and a bed loop (fitted to the rail at the side of the bed to pull yourself up with).


My needs meant I gladly accepted a community loan bed with alternating air mattress (I have had terrible problems with pressure sores) and bed loop on a long term basis. It's not the prettiest thing but it's essential to keep me as healthy as possible. Fortunately I have no need of a monkey pole, as the ability to sit myself up in bed using the bed's handset and a bed loop are sufficient.

If a privately bought bed is the correct solution for your parents, nobody should second guess that. I expect it looks less utilitarian than a typical community loan bed!

The purpose of my comments about beds are to underline what can be done if necessary in the future, not to undermine the choice that has been made.


So far as Attendance Allowance goes, the benefits may not be purely financial. In some cases, having Attendance Allowance can unlock other forms of help.


I wish you all well.