Taken in Friend and Son after agrevated assult

Luckylucy

Hi,

I have taken in my friend today after someone broke into her home and assaulted her and threatened her little boy.

There is various issues going on but at the moment the most important thing I guess is that she has no where to live, She is welcome with us for the considerable future of course but my head is spinning and I have no idea where to start...

The council had offered her a flat in town to move into on this Friday coming but upon reflection and after whats happened over the weekend this isn't far enough away from these people to keep her and her little boy safe. The police have assisted in helping us move some of her belongings to mine today and at the moment we all feel that this is probably the safest place for her to be, as it is far enough away from it all that she wont be found but I can still keep her in contact with the police and other people involved etc...

Her little boy won't be able to get to school for the rest of the week and potentially beyond for a little while. Should we speak to the local school and see if he can start there whilst he is living with us?

Our rough plan of action for tomorrow is to ring the council, Social Services and get her to the dentist (three of her teeth were knocked out) and if we have time to possibly try and get some more things out of the house and into storage if the SOCA is finished with the house and unseize the keys.

I am not sure how to prioritise things, as you can imagine my friend is in a pretty bad state and isn't really feeling capable of managing it all on her own and I am just not sure where to begin helping to rebuild their lives basically.

meritaten

Well done you for taking them in. NOW be very careful and vigilant for your own safety.
Yes, if you think the little one would be safe, then ring the local school and ask if he can attend temporarily. but make them aware of the situation. That he can ONLY be picked up by his mum or yourself or the police.
I cant advise on housing - to hide effectively can depend on a number of factors. but if you are known as a friend then she isn't safe and neither are you.
Womens Aid may be of more help - they are used to advising women who need to go into hiding.

Luckylucy

meritaten wrote: »

Well done you for taking them in. NOW be very careful and vigilant for your own safety.
Yes, if you think the little one would be safe, then ring the local school and ask if he can attend temporarily. but make them aware of the situation. That he can ONLY be picked up by his mum or yourself or the police.
I cant advise on housing - to hide effectively can depend on a number of factors. but if you are known as a friend then she isn't safe and neither are you.
Womens Aid may be of more help - they are used to advising women who need to go into hiding.

Thanks Meritaten, There is no risk here (I believe). I moved away from the area about 15 months ago and none of the people involved know I exist. So far only the police know my actual address and one other friend knows roughly where she is but we told her the name of the town next on from me rather than where we actually are and no address. The Police kept me and my car away from her house when they collected some belongings so no one could see who they left with, Plus the scum that did this have never left the town they live in and would have to navigate I think 4 different buses just to get to my village and then find the house which is tucked out of the way, and they probably couldn't afford the bus fair or the two hour journey.

I barely slept last night and feel like a vombie this morning! But my friend and her boy slept like logs for the first time in a few nights so I am really pleased and so glad she finally feels safe!

It's going to be a busy busy day!

Does anyone know where I start for the fraud on her card? There has been loads of payday loans taken out and they are trying to collect from her card but she never applied for the money nor can afford to pay it back anyway! The bank has frozen transactions on her card but are still letting payments in which is just in a sense paying off all the debt in there but she is unable to access any cash at all.

Amanda65

So sorry to hear what has happened to your friend but glad she has you to help, it must be such a support for her.

I (thankfully) have no experience of anything like this but I think my first port of call would be a local women's aid group who may be able to offer practical advice to you both. Good luck x

skylight

Contact Womens Aid - they can be wonderful - unfortunately I have a few too many friends who sing their praises (as in, my friends shouldn't have been forced to contact them in the first place IYSWIM)

Then she needs to open a new bank account. Several places do basic ones - Martin has a guide in Banking. You must ask specifically for a basic account; she is unlikely to pass a credit check due to the payday loans that will now appear on her file - her fault or not, they will be on her credit file. The Co-Op do a cashminder account, Natwest have a basic account as do Barclays. They have online banking and a debit /cash card, just no overdrafts.

It can take a few days to get this sorted and get the cash cards etc. so depending on when payments are going into her account, it may be an idea to contact the payees and have that money paid into your account for the time being. It is the ONLY way to stop the payday lenders claiming money from her current bank account. They will continue to do so until the debts are paid or they get round to dealing with the fraud; which in itself will take ages to do.

cheepskate_2

You can ask the benefits agency to stop DD payments and change to Giro for a while until she gets a new bank account set up. Just make sure that the person harassing her does not know the security details that they ask.
Once she gets the Giro, she just pays xyz amount into her bank to cover her debts that she want to cover

RAS

Please contact Women's Aid; they can help your friend get accomodation in a town away from her attackers.

With respect to incoming payments, she needs to use the "rights of appropration rules" to get access to her benefit payments; they cannot use those to pay off debt.

She needs to open a new basic bank account, she needs to speak to Women's Aid as it is essential that she does not her new address and they details of the account are not sent to her old address.

Luckylucy

Evening.

It's been a long long day!

So far I've managed to speak to the local school who have got a temporary place for her boy on the go ahead from social services and admissions, Social services are coming out tomorrow to put a support package in place, We are registering at the doctors tomorrow morning and trying to get an emergency appointment for her. The dentist can't touch her teeth at the moment but has said the damage in her mouth is so bad the whole lot needs to come out and have dentures in! :eek:

Going to CAB on Friday to get some help with the payday loans and Santander. I just don't think I know enough to do that on my own. Sorted out a post office account and organised her payments to be moved into that asap.

{SNIP}

{/SNIP}

We got a few more bits from the house today, mainly her photographs and paperwork as we are pretty sure the house will be trashed/torched tonight/tomorrow and I mean I don't know how to make it any better other than to try and say that its just stuff in there now that can be replaced, not that it makes a huge amount of difference...

Spoken to the housing association and if the house doesn't get trashed trying to get them to agree to let her straight out of the tenancy without notice so that they can secure the property and her liability for any more damage ceases.

meritaten

This sounds horrendous! Please be careful!
I am glad the little boy has a place at school - it will be good for him to have some 'normality' even though its in a strange place and he may be worried about leaving his mum? Don't forget to reassure him MUM IS SAFE! HE is SAFE!
it sounds as if you have covered your tracks - but be vigilant, it only needs ONE person to see your friend or her son in town and inform these criminals and you will all be at risk. make sure the school doesn't post the childs name or photo on their website at ANY time! schools often do this if a child makes 'star of the week' or does anything outstanding. make the school aware that this is NOT to happen.
I know you are busier than a bee at the moment and there is a LOT to sort out, and think about. but I do urge you not to be complacent and to be 'aware' of all the risks.
and my heart goes out to your friend and her son - I wish them safety and happiness in their future. and with a fantastic friend like you I am sure they will achieve it.

Yorkie1

OP, can I suggest that you edit your posts to take out the details of what happened?

People who know enough of the original details, and cared to look online, might just be able to put the jigsaw together.

rpc

meritaten wrote: »

make sure the school doesn't post the childs name or photo on their website at ANY time! schools often do this if a child makes 'star of the week' or does anything outstanding. make the school aware that this is NOT to happen.

If the school is told of the surrounding circumstances, they are usually very good at this sort of thing. It would be best to ensure they are notified in writing so that there is a paper record. Kids needing increased privacy aren't all that uncommon.

Parents who take nativity photos "for personal use" and then plaster them on facebook and tag all the kids, etc on the other hand... And then complain when such photos are banned...