Can I ask beneficiary to refuse part of his inheritance?

Money_maker

Exactly. Sounds like a load of nit picking to me. Suck it up and move on. Lifes too short to worry about a 5 year old loan. You're all going to inherit a substantial amount so just be happy with it instead of picking over the bones.

growler834

It may appear nit picking but it's the principle rather than the amount. He is not my son but my stepson who I love dearly but he has taken substantial amounts of money in loans from his parents, step parents & gran over the years but always had an excuse as to why he didn't pay them back. Until now we have never chased him for payment because he has two young children but now he will have his inheritance we believe he should at least do the right thing & pay back what his nana loaned him - the sums he borrowed from everyone else are not being sought at the moment - believe me it's much more than £500 each we are speaking of & any repayment he would make would be going into a bank account for his children so they get something out of this.
Behind all this is a worry that I had not mentioned before - that he will drink it all away & his children will not see a penny as he has a drink problem. I shouldn't have to point that out - I was only asking a simple question at the beginning of this thread which has descended into accusations of penny pinching.
Thanks to those who did give me constructive advice, it is appreciated.

Mojisola

growler834 wrote: »

I was only asking a simple question at the beginning of this thread which has descended into accusations of penny pinching.

There usually is a back story behind the simple question that gets asked on MSE - you don't have to explain it although it can help people to give helpful answers.

The truth is still though that you can ask him but he can refuse.

If he refuses, you have to give him what the will specifies.

You mentioned his sister ending up with less than him - we suggested a way of balancing up their inheritance.

Whatever has happened in the past or how he uses the money in the future aren't anything to do with how the will must be administered.

Morally, it might be right for the other family members and his children if you could divert some of the money but, legally, you can't do it.

rpc

growler834 wrote: »

It may appear nit picking but it's the principle rather than the amount.

Principles can be expensive, especially when they run contrary to a legal document.

If he varies the will, by refusing one of the bequests, then this should be dealt with as part of the residue unless there is some other stipulation. You can't just decide that because he has refused his bit, you can give it to his kids.

If the children are young, putting the money in a bank account may be a breach of the trustees duties. With, say, a decade until they can draw the funds there are other alternatives that might give better returns. For a small sum, it probably doesn't matter but you say that the amounts involved are large.

You can't control what happens with his inheritance. All you can do is stop giving him any more money...

Mojisola

growler834 wrote: »

he has taken substantial amounts of money in loans from his parents, step parents & gran over the years but always had an excuse as to why he didn't pay them back.

rpc wrote: »

You can't control what happens with his inheritance. All you can do is stop giving him any more money...

As rpc says, you can't take back from his inheritance what you regret giving him previously.

If someone is "loaned" money once and doesn't pay it back, and "loaned" money a second time and doesn't pay it back, why would people keep handing money over? They must have realised that there was very little chance of the money being repaid.

growler834

Mojisola wrote: »

As rpc says, you can't take back from his inheritance what you regret giving him previously.

If someone is "loaned" money once and doesn't pay it back, and "loaned" money a second time and doesn't pay it back, why would people keep handing money over? They must have realised that there was very little chance of the money being repaid.

We only loaned him money once. We weren't aware other members of the family had loaned him money until after we had done so. When we all found out how much he had borrowed from different family members we were horrified. Unfortunately we all live far apart so it was some time before we all knew the true situation.

However all this is now a moot point. I have taken on board the constructive advice & the will will be executed as stipulated by MIL. I can then spend time with my terminally ill mother & leave the rest of the family to worry about stepson. I have learned one valuable lesson - never agree to be an executor as it's not worth the family aggravation.

Mojisola

growler834 wrote: »

We only loaned him money once. We weren't aware other members of the family had loaned him money until after we had done so. When we all found out how much he had borrowed from different family members we were horrified. Unfortunately we all live far apart so it was some time before we all knew the true situation.

However all this is now a moot point. I have taken on board the constructive advice & the will will be executed as stipulated by MIL. I can then spend time with my terminally ill mother & leave the rest of the family to worry about stepson. I have learned one valuable lesson - never agree to be an executor as it's not worth the family aggravation.

He's done a good job of manipulating you all - don't hold out any hope of him behaving honourably over the will.

swampduck

It's not at all helpful but I would be giving him the shares as his inheritance and let him deal with the cost and inconvenience of selling them. :mad: Some people think the world owes them a living and they are entitled to everything.
But on another note having recently received an inheritance we did have a variation made to the will as someone had deliberately been left out. But all the main beneficiaries had to agree to it and sign their agreement.
Although there was some disagreement in principle I dont believe in prolonging an argument long after it should have been buried. For what it's worth we were talking about a lot more than £2K - (it would paid a third of my mortgage off!! and that was just my share!!)
Let it go - your peace of mind is of far more value than money. Follow the terms of the will to the letter and let everyone else lose sleep over the wayward son. (Is that the reason why he's a long way a way - he may actually have a conscience but can't deal with it - or come to that face his own family?)

Enjoy the precious time left with your mum.

Swampy

BobQ

Legally he can insist on receiving the shares.

But I wonder if you just wrote to him stating " as you know you owed your grandmother £2000 at the time of her death. I therefore propose to sell the shares to settle this debt unless you advise me otherwise within 90 days." he might just accept this proposal. If he responds threating to contest this you could just transfer the shares and accept the situation on the basis you have tried.

How it would pan out if it was ever challenged in court would I presume depend on whether there was evidence that it was a loan. A loan would not have to be in a document (but better if it was) if she had told reputable independent people at the time of the loan. But much more difficult to prove a verbal loan agreement. That said for £2K I doubt it would ever get to a court.

System

BobQ wrote: »

But I wonder if you just wrote to him stating " as you know you owed your grandmother £2000 at the time of her death. I therefore propose to sell the shares to settle this debt unless you advise me otherwise within 90 days."

Do you really think that it is a good idea to put into writing that you intend to vary the will without any legal authority to do so and also without a response.

You would leave yourself totally open to legal action and lose even more than the £2000 in question