Problem with our wedding reception venue - advice appreciated!

E._Tenebris_Lux

Hi all,

We're having a lot of trouble with the venue we've found for our wedding reception, and we would be so grateful for any advice, suggestions or anecdotes you guys might have.

My fiancee and I are planning to have a fairly laid-back wedding in summer 2015 - small ceremony with immediate family only, followed by a drinks reception with Italian-style buffet and dancing into the early hours. In the first week of January we found our ideal wedding venue - it's a former warehouse in central London which has been turned into a trendy but casual bar/restaurant which has what we'd call an "urban barn" feel to it, with exposed brickwork, wooden rafters, etc. It serves exactly the sort of food we were looking for (antipasti, cheeseboards, etc) and even the prosecco, wines and beers are unique and excellent. There is a minimum spend (but no hire charge) which we consider very reasonable, and which will be mostly paid by us with the rest as a cash bar. It literally ticked every box on our list.

Unfortunately, the problem is the manager. Immediately after seeing the venue in early January (and having seen around a dozen others already) we decided that this was "The One" and emailed the manager a few further queries (little things like making minor changes to the menu, bringing our own cakes, asking about the additional cost for having the venue earlier, and finding out what dates are available) and requested the booking form to us sign and finalise our booking. When he didn't get back to us the first time, we presumed he was busy or it had slipped his mind, so we politely chased the email with another. When that also didn't get a response, we sent a further follow-up and then called him - we did eventually get an email back from him, but not to all of our queries. So we again replied politely to get the rest of the information and haven't heard a thing for about three weeks, despite a number of further emails chasing him and two phone calls.

So here we are, six weeks after viewing the venue and deciding that we wanted to book it, but for some reason the manager doesn't seem at all interested in answering our questions, getting our booking finalised or taking the deposit from us. We are now getting to the point where we are seriously considering walking away because if the manager is this bad at responding to potential clients, how will he treat people once they are committed to having their reception there?

The strangest thing is that the venue is literally closed every weekend for weddings and we've seen many articles, blogs, photo journals and even wedding videos of people having amazing weddings at this venue who all seem to have had a great time, so we know that the venue will most likely come good on the day. But we have the nagging feeling that if we ever do manage to get the booking finalised, we don't know if we can trust someone who clearly has either no organisational skills or a seriously bad attitude to customer service! We appreciate that summer 2015 is still 18 months away, but we don't think it's unreasonable to want to get this sorted out now - the manager has previously mentioned to us that summer 2015 has started to book up, so we know it isn't too early for them.

We sent him our latest chaser email last night (our second of this week, along with one phone call) telling him that we are now seriously re-considering booking the venue and making a last ditch attempt to sort if out by asking if we can come and see him in person next week to discuss the queries and finalise the booking as he's clearly "not an email person", but we doubt we will get a response to that either. We have done some digging to find out the name of the company that owns the bar and are very tempted to call them to see if they are able to stir him into action, but that may just serve to antagonise and alienate him and might result in us losing the venue altogether.

Sorry for the very, very long post - we would love to get your thoughts on the situation, whether any of you experienced something similar and what we can possibly do to get it sorted out. It's honestly a truly awful dilemma: do you let go of your perfect venue because of a really bad experience like this? And if so, when?

Thanks for reading,

ETL

tillyenna

Hey - I'm having similar issues with our venue, although have now managed to get a quote, just trying to chase the manager down to give him a deposit - odd, you think he'd want the money.


I would say if it IS 'The One' then stick with it - remember that although this day is a MASSIVE DEAL to you (and quite rightly so!) to them, it's just another weekend, especially if they do weddings a lot. You're talking about next year, and he's probably dealing with weddings that are happening that week.


Keep politely chasing, maybe mention that you are having second thoughts because of the lack of responses (that might get them to pull their socks up) but at the end of the day, it's next summer, that's over a year away - so they might be more concerned with weddings closer to the time.

E._Tenebris_Lux

Thanks for your response tillyenna - we've mentioned in our latest chaser that we're having second thoughts but we honestly think that a) the manager doesn't care because the date is so far away and he knows they will likely have another booking that weekend, b) as you say it's just another weekend to them, and c) we genuinely don't think he checks or replies to his emails.

I'm going to give him a call today, mention the email (so that perhaps he will go and read it) and try to get a date in to go and see him next week.

It's interesting that you've had the same experience - how long have you been chasing your venue and why the delay? I wonder if it's the same venue...!

Thanks for your advice about sticking with it and keeping on chasing - I'm happy to do that but my fiancee is getting very, very nervous. I must admit I'm also starting to feel like we should walk away on the grounds that this experience has taken the shine off what was initially a perfect venue, but I know that it shouldn't matter if we ultimately get it booked and have a great day.

tillyenna

No problem. I started to get ansty about it, so The Boss took over talking to the guy - I'm not sure it's made any difference, but I stress less knowing it's his problem and not mine LOL


We'd been to see him in November initially to say that we wanted to hold the wedding there, and he was really keen. Then we saw him again at the start of the year to talk about menus, and I asked him for a quote. I asked him again by email for a quote. The quote eventually came through at the start of February, and since then we've been chasing him to try and give him a deposit.


The thing is, he's a really nice guy, and every time we've seen him since (the venue is only 15 minutes walk from where we live, and it's a cafe so we pop over once a month or so just so show our faces) he's been really friendly and helpful. I think he's just rubbish at answering emails!


I would definitely suggest phoning if you've got his number - I hate phone calls so I've been avoiding that.


But seriously, don't stress. I only had a minor freak out in January because of the 'argh, it's THIS YEAR'. Leave it a good few months, when you get to under a year to the wedding, if they're STILL being like this, start looking for somewhere else - that way, you give your perfect venue the maximum amount of time to step up to the plate, but you've still got plenty of time to book another one. (We started talking to our venue 10 months before the date)

globetraveller

I note you say it is closed every weekend for weddings but why not turn up during the week and ask to speak to him or whoever is in charge on the day? Do you think that perhaps your numbers are a bit on the small side and he is perhaps delaying to see if he can get a larger function? Whatever, I think you need to go with the intention of getting it sorted one way or another that day. if he really can't be bothered then I am not sure I could put myself through potential stress in the months ahead worrying about it all.
I have a business related problem where I have someone who just doesn't bother answering emails. I have no idea why folks give out emails and don't bother with them. If he had been the same before I committed to the business I would never have gone ahead. And I can't reach him any other way as he is abroad. So I know all about the stress.

Tashatutuw

I suppose at the point where you are already considering walking away, the risk of alienation by contacting the Parent Company is neither here nor there. Either, they get onto him and the problem sorts itself out and you end up with the venue of your dreams or he continues in the manner which he already is and you walk away... Do you have much to lose either way?! I would risk it and whilst I was reading your post had thought to myself thats what you should do before I reached your comment about it...

Good luck!

E._Tenebris_Lux

Thanks for the replies all. The crux of the problem is that, of all the venues we've seen, none come close to this one and we're desperate to have it. That, combined with the fact that they literally have wedding bookings coming out of their ears, means that the power is almost entirely in their hands, which is obviously not how it should be.

globetraveller - Going to see the manager in person is basically our next step, since he's made it very clear through his behaviour that he's "not an email person" and even phone calls don't result in any progress. We've sent our latest email making it clear that we're thinking about pulling out and suggesting dates to come and see him next week, and I'm going to call him this afternoon to follow up and press him on a date to visit. If we don't get an answer, we're literally just going to turn up and ask for an explanation and insist that this gets sorted out. As you're aware from your business problem, there is nothing as infuriating as people who don't respond to emails and require endless chasing! Best of luck with that by the way - keep plugging on!

tashatutuw - I'm leaving the option of contacting the parent company until the very last, as we really do risk antagonising him to the point where he tells us to shove off - or worse, makes the booking but ensures that things go very wrong on the day! If we don't end up meeting him next week or the meeting doesn't satisfy us, I have no qualms whatsoever about contacting the owners and telling them what's been going on. If we get to that stage, hopefully as you say they will press him to sort it out and everything will be fine - if not I will simply focus on informing them just how atrocious his customer service is and that he is losing them business and money with his behaviour, presumably resulting in his imminent demise...

heartbreak_star

I'd go in and see him face-to-face.

HBS x

Si_Clist

As others have said, he's probably knee-deep in brides panicking about this year's weddings so next year's are not a high priority right now. That doesn't excuse his apparent indifference, but it's by no means an uncommon problem with popular venues - especially London ones.

Just a thought though - maybe they haven't even fixed their prices for 2015 yet?

E._Tenebris_Lux

Si_Clist wrote: »

As others have said, he's probably knee-deep in brides panicking about this year's weddings so next year's are not a high priority right now. That doesn't excuse his apparent indifference, but it's by no means an uncommon problem with popular venues - especially London ones.

Just a thought though - maybe they haven't even fixed their prices for 2015 yet?

It's a good point Si Clist - we're very much aware that almost certainly he's busy sorting out this year's weddings and has prioritised them above responding to us, but that simply isn't a sustainable business model because once this year's weddings are done there won't be anything booked in for next year! (Also, I'm genuinely not sure that this chap is capable of prioritising anything - once on the phone he told me to re-send one of our chasing emails "because then it will be at the top of my inbox"...despite which we never received a response.)

Besides, as you say we should be getting some sort of response from him as a courtesy, even if it is a holding email. They have set the prices for 2015 as we've got them (after much chasing) and he has previously informed me that 2015 is starting to book up, but then that may be rubbish...

Si_Clist

E._Tenebris_Lux wrote: »

They have set the prices for 2015 as we've got them (after much chasing) ...

Well in that case the bloke's obviously a plonker :cool:

I know you've set your heart on the place, but I can't help feeling that if he's being useless now because he knows (thinks) he can book all the weddings he wants, odds-on nothing will change if you do book, because as far as he's concerned you're then committed, so he still doesn't need to keep you sweet ...