Boyfriend staying over/ me staying at his. Am I breaking any rules?

Shabbychic23

I am back with my ex partner, we don't live together as we are testing to see if we are compatible again before going full throttle again, as we didn't clearly cope last time!. We've been living apart for 1 1/2 years. He lives at his Dads and I live in my own private rented house.

My current worry is that he has been staying 2 or 3 nights a week mainly the weekends. I sometimes stay at his Dads as I endlessly worry about the DWP following me or monitoring me and my boyfriend as I have been searching stories and have just read horror stories on the net!!!

He pays no ££ towards any bills, all his washing, food shop, showers clothing is at his dads. He does no food shop with me I do it online or my parents take me as I own no car. The only thing he does pay me is money in child support which was done via a signed agreement by the both of us and witnessed by my mother and his Father.

Would the DWP see us as a co-habiting couple because he stays 2-3 nights a week?. I'm claiming income support and child tax credits as I had too when we split up....

Any help will be helpful as im worried sick and its runing my realtionship and mental health!

HB58

There is no hard and fast rule regarding how many nights someone can stay over. DWP decide each case on its merits and look at things such as whether you consider yourselves 'partners' and also whether other people would do so.

FBaby

Is he the father of your children? On one hand, you seem to be ticking all the boxes, making sure he has another address, paying maintenance, paying none of your bills so he can't be linked to your address. Saying that, 1 1/2 is a getting to be quite a long time to make up your mind whether to get back together or not.

I would think the chances of them deciding to monitor you are low unless you are reported, however, would they consider you as not living as married if they did, who knows.

cattie

Unless your boyfriend is registered for council tax or has a proper tenancy at an address different to yours, then yes you can be in danger of being considered as living together.

There is no set 'allowable' number of nights that DWP consider fine to spend at one partner's place & it is open to interpretation depending on who the DWP employee is who is carrying out a possible investigation.

I think as you two have previously been living together, you do need to be extra careful, especially as there are couples who live in separate homes just to maximise benefits. What you don't want is for somebody to phone up & say you're back together & not entitled to income support.

If in any doubt ring DWP yourself. You don't have to give your name, you can pretend you are somebody else, making an enquiry on behalf of a friend who is worried about boyfriend staying whilst she claims income support.

trollopscarletwoman

Keep your heads down and mouths shut not telling anyone your business.

You then should be okay until you decide where you want to go with the relationship.

shop-to-drop

trollopscarletwoman wrote: »

Keep your heads down and mouths shut not telling anyone your business.

You then should be okay until you decide where you want to go with the relationship.

Or alternatively get yourselves into a position that you are self supporting and not reliant on means tested benefits and then you can live your life any way you like.

trollopscarletwoman

shop-to-drop wrote: »

Or alternatively get yourselves into a position that you are self supporting and not reliant on means tested benefits and then you can live your life any way you like.

The fact the op is on means tested benefits has got nothing to do with you.

FBaby

Surely if you've been back together but not living together for 18 months, the real test as to whether you can make it work long term is to actually move back together?

tomtontom

shop-to-drop wrote: »

Or alternatively get yourselves into a position that you are self supporting and not reliant on means tested benefits and then you can live your life any way you like.

Good, constructive advice that would solve the OP's anxiety. It is refreshing to see a suggestion that considers the alternative to benefit reliance

StormyWeather_2

FBaby wrote: »

Surely if you've been back together but not living together for 18 months, the real test as to whether you can make it work long term is to actually move back together?

The OP says they've been living apart for 18 months but doesn't say when they got back together in a relationship. It might only be a few months.

That's how I read what they've written, I could be wrong.

Poppie68

To be honest you hiding away at his dad's won't make any difference whatsoever if they are investigating you, chances are they will already know you stay there..
You say he does'nt shower at yours or have clothes at yours. I would like to think over the 2 - 3 nights he spends with you that he does shower and change his clothes and find it very unlikey he gets up and goes back to his dads every morning for a shower and changes his clothes thens comes back in time for breakfast to yours...
If you are being honest you will not have anything to worry about if they do or are already in the process of investigating.
They won't see him leaving for work everyday and coming home at the end of the working day back to yours..im presuming he comes to yours on a friday evening after work and leaves again monday morning for work and then is not seen again until the next friday evening.
They would i think see this as acceptable, but if you are trying to pull a fast one i would stop sooner rather than later because chances are they will catch up with you and it could even be brought to light months after you have stopped your single claims.
You seem to have all the bases covered but the only way to be sure of not getting prosecuted are by not commiting benefit fraud in the place (this is not particulary aimed at you op)