Wedding venue tipping; are cupcakes a rubbish tip?

sammylou100

Hi everyone, haven't been on the forum much since we got engaged nearly 2 years ago! We had our hearts set on a venue which we booked the week we got engaged, but didn't have an endless budget so went for the cheaper option of a Monday wedding. It's a lovely farm venue which is often in blogs etc and we've been saving hard since booking it as we are paying most of the £10k ourselves (the venue is about £6500 of that £10k).

Anyway, we had our final planning meeting at the end of last year and the planner asked us what we wanted to do about tipping. I hadn't even considered this, we are at the very end of our carefully planned budget at this stage and I am now really worrying. I am not sure whether this is something that would be left to a 'Father of the Bride', but I don't have one of those. We got given £70 in cash at Christmas and I've put that to one side to be used as a tip, but the venue were a bit cagey about how many members of staff would be working so I don't know how far that would have to stretch. I have been awake at nights worrying about this silly little thing and decided that I might get some lovely cupcakes made by a lady in our town and leave a dozen beautifully iced cupcakes saying 'Thank you'...which would cost £20, leaving £50 to go towards other things that we are falling short on. Is that going to be considered tight? I ran it past my Mum who said that a wedding venue might not appreciate being left more food! The wedding is in seven weeks and this is making me more stressed than anything else at the moment! Any thoughts? (Nice one please, stress levels are high :rotfl:)

krustylouise

to be honest I hadn't even considered this and think {personally} its a very forward thing for the venue to ask about!!! I wouldn't worry about this, a tip is not obligatory. I would give them £50 and keep the £20 for other things. Try not to worry, it's your big day, don't let something so trivial ruin it x

sammylou100

Thank you, I completely agree it is forward, but I guess unless they mention it people don't think of it so don't tip...but they must pay their staff a wage! Thank you x

krustylouise

I hope you have a wonderful day x

Mrs_R_to_be

Hi, iv just spoken to my brother who does waiting on for functions & weddings, he said it's rare that they get tips from weddings (more so sportsmanship dinners etc), but said that it is not expected (but being the cheeky so & so he is, added it was always welcome!!). He would advise against food as they get leftovers from the kitchen anyway. He did say that if they do get tips it tends to be a after the event that the bride / groom / parents drop it off to be split between the staff, not at the time of the wedding.
I know each venue will be different but he works at a posh hotel.
I.thought I'd better ask as I hadn't even thought about it to be honest! Sorry for the long winded post, in a nut shell, not expected but nice, if you do decide to it doesn't need to be done at the time.
I hope that helps.... x

sammylou100

Thank you so much, that's really appreciated & very good to know x

LEJC

firstly dont worry yourselves over tipping...I think its actually quite rude of the venue to have asked what your arrangements fot it are!!!


When we married we never left a monetry tip anywhere...although we did give a few carefully selected gifts to perople like the florist and others who on the journey we felt went out of their way to help!


Please dont feel obliged to tip anyone an to be honest I think the idea of cupcakes is wonderful...shows you have thought about them but in more of a personal way than monetry.


I guess the thing with leaving a tip for the venue is that there probably are a large amount of staff involved in your day...not just the waiting staff you see and deal with but chefs and to a point cleaners etc so possibly giving a monetry tip would be put into a collective pot for everyone that is shared out not necessarily after your wedding but at sometime when there is enough to give everyone a share from all the tips received in a season etc


Perhaps if you wanted to give cupcakes you could ask your lady that makes them if its possible to make double the quantity at half the size so theres more to go around all the staff that will be involved in your day.


Good luck with the rest of your planning.

Paulaviki

We only tipped the guy who managed our wedding and was also our MC. I think my dad gave him £20 whilst drunkenly thanking him!

sammylou100

Thank you, she does make mini ones so that might be a very good idea.

We did get asked in our pre-meeting spreadsheet whether or not we wanted to address the tip, but in addressing that point we'd already addressed it, if you see what I mean! x

MissTeach

I hadn't even considered tipping!

You are paying £6500 for the venue! If they can't afford the staffing costs out of that...

sammylou100

I know, this is where I keep coming back to. We are staying at the venue overnight and leaving at 5am the next morning so my sister just keeps saying not to worry about it as we'll be off on our honeymoon, I know she is right but I don't want people to think we aren't appreciative.