Residence and contact order

shooby337

Hi
I have residence of my Son and there is a contact order for his mother to see him on alternating Saturdays/Sundays. Whilst at court she asked the judge if she wanted more contact in the week what would be done? The judge advised to agree it between ourselves or to make a new court request at a later date. 2 weeks later and she is demanding to have him 3 days in the week of half term.
I've arranged for him to go away and stay with his grandparents (who've given up a lot to help me with childcare) during this time and I don't intend to change this.
Does she have any grounds of complaint in this? This will not impact her normal weekend contact in anyway.
Please help so I can prepare for the abuse I will get tomorrow!
I may consider additional time for half terms in the future, but don't feel it's appropriate just yet.
Thanks

GobbledyGook

Did the order not include anything about school holidays?

Normally I think an order generally includes half of school holidays, but if it wasn't included then she'd have to go back to court for a variation if you decline it. Is your son old enough to have an opinion on what he'd rather do?

Edited - When I say normally. I mean like when there's no issues against it.

shooby337

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Did the order not include anything about school holidays?

Normally I think an order generally includes half of school holidays, but if it wasn't included then she'd have to go back to court for a variation if you decline it. Is your son old enough to have an opinion on what he'd rather do?

Edited - When I say normally. I mean like when there's no issues against it.

Hi

No there was no inclusion in the order. Son is only 4, and the order had to be obtained as a result if children services concerns over her ability to care for him.

GobbledyGook

shooby337 wrote: »

Hi

No there was no inclusion in the order. Son is only 4, and the order had to be obtained as a result if children services concerns over her ability to care for him.

In that case I'd let her take you back to court. If you had been building up to it for some time and said not then it could be unreasonable, but two weeks later is a very short time.

I'm not sure if she has him overnight, but it's especially short time if the court hasn't given her overnights yet.

BitterAndTwisted

"Agree it between you" does not mean making a sudden demand and expecting everyone else in the world to drop whatever plans they may have made in order to accommodate them.


Under the circs, given that there were concerns about her ability to provide proper care in the past, I'd tell her that she hasn't had time to prove that she's changed. Two weeks later! I wouldn't let her have sole charge of a dog, never mind a precious four year-old child

shooby337

Children services said she was not to have him overnight, but there is no order preventing it. I guess with me having the residence/contact order as it is the ball is going to be in my park, until she takes it back to court.

Does she have any grounds to prevent me from allowing him to go to his grandparents (couple hours away) without me? Does parental responsibility give her any right here?


Lol bitterandtwisted. That is exactly how I feel, her flat is a mess and it smells, and I hate even allowing my boy to go there with it like that, I'm always concerned about that.

BitterAndTwisted

The child is in your care, and you can decide whether he goes to his grandparents or not either with or without you. They are not the ones who declined to provide proper care for him and got children services involved. If the child's mother has a problem with that, let her go back to court. I wouldn't let her have him overnight in a month of Sundays, and only would if a court compelled me to.

GobbledyGook

No if the child is in your care then she can't tell you what to do with him.

Plus if child services don't want her having overnight contact then you absolutely shouldn't allow it without the say so of the court. If you do then they could see it as you putting him in danger.

shooby337

Thanks for the replies.

I'm glad to hear that. I've no intention of allowing overnights stay.

Thanks

FBaby

Yet the courts seem to be supporting moving forward towards more contact. Can you tell her that it is too late for this holiday but you can discuss Easter. Could you come to an agreement that she has him for three days then but not overnights yet? Do you think is she went back to court she would be likely to gain holiday contact? Because if she is it is much better to come to an agreement between yourself with as little resentment or bitterness as possible

shooby337

FBaby wrote: »

Yet the courts seem to be supporting moving forward towards more contact. Can you tell her that it is too late for this holiday but you can discuss Easter. Could you come to an agreement that she has him for three days then but not overnights yet? Do you think is she went back to court she would be likely to gain holiday contact? Because if she is it is much better to come to an agreement between yourself with as little resentment or bitterness as possible

Quite possibly they would. I don't mind perhaps in the next holiday for her to have him once or twice extra. However for her to make demands as soon as we left the court for this school holiday I felt was a bit of a Mickey take.