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My Honeymoon was a disaster.

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I just want to let people know, before it is too late and they go out tonight, all about my honeymoon. It was, I am sad to say, a complete disaster, Ms BoPsie, 27 years ago got all a flurry on 14th February, the silly girl went to see this woman in the registrars office and handed over a small sum of money, so we could be married. That was only the start of it.

Within days, we had to avoid the girl in white, who was booked in for 9L30, yet it was our slot at 11:10. Hecklers lined the route to the door, and minutes later, we were man and wife. Then her father, bless him, still going, whisked us off and plied us with alcohol, then dumped us on a train, bound for York.

There we stayed, at grace expanse, in luxury for a night or two, and met the most hideous man you ever had seen. At breakfast, at 9:30 gone on the Monday, I finished off the Hotels supply of mushrooms in two great big heaving heaps, only to see this man complain like one wild cat, we nick named him mushroom man. Since then, I have not been able to look at mushrooms without laughing, in fact it hurts that much, I cry.

So, please be careful this evening all you MSE’rs, you may end up the same as me and stuck with the same girl for years
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Comments

  • missprice
    missprice Posts: 3,736 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Aww we can just feel the romance oozing out of that lovely tale.

    :beer:
    63 mortgage payments to go.

    Zero wins 2016 😥
  • likelyfran
    likelyfran Posts: 1,818 Forumite
    WTH? Head nor tail.
    *Look for advice, not 'advise'*
    *Could/should/would HAVE please!*

    :starmod:
    “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” ~ Krishnamurti. :starmod:
    :dance:
  • hollydays
    hollydays Posts: 19,812 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Your not a relation to john MCcririck are you ?
  • oldhand
    oldhand Posts: 3,749 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture
    On our honeymoon night after my "performance" I forgot and left £20 on the pillow.When we returned home I told my best friend who told me "dont worry she will understand you cant be expected to have been saving yourself all these years"
    I said "thats not the problem,she left £5 change"........:(:(
  • My honeymoon wasa disaster too. Those damn ladyboys are just SO convincing...!
  • WTFH
    WTFH Posts: 2,266 Forumite
    BoP, you had 6 years to return her under SOGA, as long as you could prove she was inherently faulty.
    After 7 years you get an itch, but penicillin will cure that.
    At 27 years, well, you would have got less for murdering her.
    1. Have you tried to Google the answer?
    2. If you were in the other person's shoes, how would you react?
    3. Do you want a quick answer or better understanding?
  • gik
    gik Posts: 1,130 Forumite
    Boffinman wrote: »
    My honeymoon wasa disaster too. Those damn ladyboys are just SO convincing...!

    You were so quick though... X
  • Boffinman
    Boffinman Posts: 98 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    edited 15 February 2014 at 12:26AM
    Ohh you !!!!!!! (female dog...)
  • WTFH
    WTFH Posts: 2,266 Forumite
    I'm not sure if I should post here or in consumer/conjugal rights.

    I demand compensation. Last night my wife went to bed without me and went to sleep. It was valentines night. I didn't get any, well, you know.

    Who can I sue?
    1. Have you tried to Google the answer?
    2. If you were in the other person's shoes, how would you react?
    3. Do you want a quick answer or better understanding?
  • WTFH wrote: »
    I'm not sure if I should post here or in consumer/conjugal rights.

    I demand compensation. Last night my wife went to bed without me and went to sleep. It was valentines night. I didn't get any, well, you know.

    Who can I sue?

    Who's sue?
This discussion has been closed.
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