How to go from a single person household to a 2 person household on less money?

Faith177

RosiePuddingPaws wrote: »

I think you need to sit down and have a serious discussion with him? He needs to understand that he can't afford to pay his brother's phone bill or stuff for MIL until the pair of you have covered your own living expenses and while he has debts. And you need to have the discussion (unless you already have) about why he built the debt up again after you had cleared it.

Failing that, this being the OS board, part of the answer has to be batch cooking and, as mentioned above, shopping at Lidl/Aldi or shifting down a brand at the other major supermarkets.

RPP

Part of the reason he racked up the debt again was through guilt because he was hardly every home he would constantly buy me outrageous presents to make up for it I keep telling him no but he doesn't listen

I am going to take all his credit cards off of him when he is home on tuesday.

I'm certainly going to give lidl and aldi a go. I already use an aldi near my work for salad stuff but it's a small store not much choice there is a big lidl down the road though.

With regards to him mother (huh!) she has a complete hold on him and is a total player with emotions. She know he would do anything for her and she plays on it big time. He just can't seem to see it. She owes us hundreds and when she does give him some back he only spends it on her again any way :wall: She is a manipulative old goat

Sorry this is turning into a rant now lol

maman

Faith177 wrote: »

Sorry this is turning into a rant now lol

I think you deserve to rant!! I now I would be.


It's good news for both of you that your DH will be spending more time at home but it needs to be a fresh start on the financial front too.


Your first post said something like 'he'll expect a proper meal every night'. That's not unreasonable but he needs to be part of the budgeting to achieve this or he'll just have to put up with a bowl of soup like you do.


So I'd suggest a spending diary for both of you where you write down every penny you spend and review at the end of the month to see where any savings can be made. Then a meal plan to include filling breakfasts, packed lunches and the evening meal. Shop as much as you can in Lidl/Aldi. Allocate a small amount of pocket money each so that if either of you choose to waste/spend it on coffees or snacks that's your own decision. Perhaps go onto the DFW board and use one of their SOAs to sort out your budget.


There's loads of help and support on here for how to eat well for less but the root of your problem lies elsewhere.


TALK!!

Spendless

Is there something I'm not grasping? Surely if you've been maintaining 2 households, even if the rent was very low with meals included, there's still been 2 lots of bills, utilities, household insurances, tv licences and so on? Now you are going to have 2 incomes supporting 1 lot of bills.

Faith177

Spendless wrote: »

Is there something I'm not grasping? Surely if you've been maintaining 2 households, even if the rent was very low with meals included, there's still been 2 lots of bills, utilities, household insurances, tv licences and so on? Now you are going to have 2 incomes supporting 1 lot of bills.[/

Because he was living above the pub he was running all his utilities were paid for him via the company the £20 a month he paid was just for his bit of the council tax.

Everything I mean everything was included

Lilyplonk

Hello again Faith - just wondering if you've managed to have that talk with your OH.

Seriously though, there seems to be quite an 'imbalance of financial responsibility' going on here

---

this situation shouldn't be giving YOU all the grief.

Are you guys married - I'm sorry to say this, but if you're NOT, I think I'd be sending him back home to live with his 'mummy' until he learns where his financial priorities should lie. It's time for him to learn some very quick financial Home Truths.

If he knows all about managing pubs/hotels - then he can understand the Financial Facts Of Life, hun.



Oh dear, I'm re-reading what I've written and I'm hoping it doesn't come across as bossy/offensive - that's NOT what I'm trying to be. I'm really trying to think how I would react if you were my own daughter.

Quite frankly, her fella would come home to find ME on the doorstep ready to take the kids out of the way while they 'had the chat' - he'd even find a written list of 'household outgoings' and another list of 'sources of income' already done by ME :o:o.

((((Big hugs)))) and Good Luck to you

Faith177

Lilyplonk wrote: »

Hello again Faith - just wondering if you've managed to have that talk with your OH.

Seriously though, there seems to be quite an 'imbalance of financial responsibility' going on here

---

this situation shouldn't be giving YOU all the grief.

Are you guys married - I'm sorry to say this, but if you're NOT, I think I'd be sending him back home to live with his 'mummy' until he learns where his financial priorities should lie. It's time for him to learn some very quick financial Home Truths.

If he knows all about managing pubs/hotels - then he can understand the Financial Facts Of Life, hun.



Oh dear, I'm re-reading what I've written and I'm hoping it doesn't come across as bossy/offensive - that's NOT what I'm trying to be. I'm really trying to think how I would react if you were my own daughter.

Quite frankly, her fella would come home to find ME on the doorstep ready to take the kids out of the way while they 'had the chat' - he'd even find a written list of 'household outgoings' and another list of 'sources of income' already done by ME :o:o.

((((Big hugs)))) and Good Luck to you

Thanks Hun you didn't sound bossy at all

We have been married for coming up to 8 months.

Haven't spoken to him yet as he's not back till Tuesday but I have made it clear what is going to happen. I've told him he will be on weekly pocket money set a level I see fit. He is to surrender all his cards to me.

I've told him that I don't want to do anything for my birthday now (next month) we were meant to be going away. He also knows that we won't be doing anything for our Anniversary until I have a full understanding of the budget an what his new wage will be.

I think he is usless with money because he has never had to be careful. He went from living with mummy to living with me. I already had had my household bills sorted and in place for 5 years so just continued to keep control he just have me what I asked for. He has never ha. To live to a budget whereas I have.

Thanks to you all for all your advise I appreciate it

Emmala

I always tell my husband that he can 'expect' what he likes, but it doesn't mean he's going to get it!


Meal planning will help you keep your food shopping down, cook once eat twice is a good motto, so make a batch of mince for spag bol one night, then divide what's left into tubs and freeze for another day....you can always add kidney beans and chilli powder to it and you have a chilli. Same with a chicken, roast it, take meat for sarnies, the rest of meat for a pie and if you're up to, use the carcass for stock.


If you pay your council tax across ten months, ask the council to change it to twelve months, we've just done this and ours has gone from £148 a month to £74 (to take us to April) then assuming it doesn't increase in April it will be £123 a month....the saving is enough to cover my car insurance for example, so worth changing.


Good luck, I know it's hard talking about money but you have to do it and only then can you move on. Afraid to say it will only get better if you work together which means NO secrets!!! And I can totally sympathise with the MIL from hell, I have one too!! xx

Faith177

MollyMischief wrote: »

I always tell my husband that he can 'expect' what he likes, but it doesn't mean he's going to get it!


Meal planning will help you keep your food shopping down, cook once eat twice is a good motto, so make a batch of mince for spag bol one night, then divide what's left into tubs and freeze for another day....you can always add kidney beans and chilli powder to it and you have a chilli. Same with a chicken, roast it, take meat for sarnies, the rest of meat for a pie and if you're up to, use the carcass for stock.


If you pay your council tax across ten months, ask the council to change it to twelve months, we've just done this and ours has gone from £148 a month to £74 (to take us to April) then assuming it doesn't increase in April it will be £123 a month....the saving is enough to cover my car insurance for example, so worth changing.


Good luck, I know it's hard talking about money but you have to do it and only then can you move on. Afraid to say it will only get better if you work together which means NO secrets!!! And I can totally sympathise with the MIL from hell, I have one too!! xx

You read my mind about the cook once eat twice I was thinking of different things I could do that with

I'm just so annoyed at him over this I feel really hurt. I don't even really want to talk to him ATM lol

AnnieO1234

Hi OP,

First thing I would stop worrying about is gas and electric increasing, if you're both out at work at the same time and at home at the same time, the increase will be negligible.

If you post your grocery budget here on the o/s board, you will get a lot of good advice and suggestions.

70p a mile will cover wear and tear on his vehicle. I believe it's 45 or 46 pence that hmrc allow per mile. He might perhaps be better off looking for something more economical however if he is increasing his mileage dramatically.

Many, many couples go through these same problems, you're not alone. You can always vent to friends, people on here etc.

Xxx

daisiegg

Oh Faith, I remember you from the weddings board and how much you struggled with the distance, and when I saw this thread I was all excited and was going to congratulate you....then I read through the thread! I don't have any practical advice but I hope you figure a way to make it work, and are able to enjoy finally living with your husband x