ballet show costumes

eml_3

My 5 yr old goes to ballet classes and they are doing a show in the summer. We were originally told that costumes would be no more than £25, and being as they cost around £10 last time, I thought no more of it. Then last week, we got a letter saying that the price was £27 and a cheque was required by the next lesson, which was in 2 days time. DH hit the roof and I moaned a lot, especially as the costume consists of a pinafore, white t shirt and hair ribbons. And they will be on stage for about 2 minutes.

However, I sent the cheque and as I wouldn't be there, put a little note in to say that I thought it was a lot of money and could we look at a cheaper way of doing it in the future.

A couple of days ago, the mother of the ballet teachers rang me to have a go at me. She told me how upset her daughters were, how awful I was, how nobody else had complained etc. She said £27 wasn't much and we should have said something before and just kept on at me, picking up on and twisting everything I said. She also said if I decided not to bring my daughter to ballet anymore that was my decision. It was very upsetting and I told her that I didnt see the point in continuing the conversation and said goodbye.

Now I am not sure what to do. There is no-one else to take DD to ballet class and she really enjoys it. She also wants to do the show and we have had to pay for this term in advance. I don't want to stop her but I feel very annoyed at this woman for behaving like this, ringing me at home to have a go at me is completely out of order. Am I overreacting or is £27 a lot of money to fork out at 2 days notice for a ballet costume? I don't know whether to say something to the teachers or just say nothing and remove DD at the end of the term. I don't want any more aggro! Please help!

starlite_2

This is really unfair!I can only sympathise with you. My litle sister does ballet classes, and her teacher is always very understanding about the price of costumes, and will give parents full details of what the girls are to wear so they can buy it themselves or make it if they can.
I would consider moving your daughter to another school after the term is up, as if the teacher can be so insensitive over this, I am unsure I personally would trust her overall.
It is always sad to feel put down because you cannot afford something. I had this all the time with expensive school trips abroad, and when i was young i used to hide the letters from my mum so she wouldn't feel obliged to, or upset that she simply couldn't afford to send me on them .I remember a few days spent in 'special classes' for kids who couldnt afford the trips, and people picked on me, but it didnt bother me as they were fun days at school, reading or playing games as we wanted.
This has even continued into university, when i was there there were frequent rips to florence, paris, barcelona, and my tutors would take me to one side to say i was missing out by not going on them. On borrowed money i could never justify such an expense1one time a girl at college said 'can't you just go to the cash point and get it from your parents account'..turns out she had her won debit card for their bank1 incredible!
sadly a lot of peoiple with money or even 'new money' forget what it is like to be on a budget, and can say mean things...

Lillibet_2

Personally I agree with you, £27 on 2 days notice is a lot of money. More to the point it is YOUR money & you have every right to your opinion on how it should be spent.
Could you bring it up quitely with the teacher at the end of the next lesson and specifically enquire why her mother felt the need to bully you just beacuse she disagreed with your opinion, especially as there appears to be no useful purpose to her mothers phone call? Why did the teacher not approach you herself if she felt affronted? All that has been acheived is that you feel inclined to remove your daughter from her class & will not recommend her, in fact may actively advise other familes to avoid her classes.
Are you sure your daughter enjoys the clesses? Would she like to try another activity next term instead, or go to another class, prehaps a school friend (or parent) could recommend a class? If your daughter does want to stay put with the existing dance class I think you should try & amicably resolve things with the teacher in order to avoid a recourrance in the future.

HTH & good luck;)

Savvy_Sue

Sounds appalling to me, yes £27 is a lot of money at 2 days notice, especially this late in the month (just before most people get paid). And as you asked if 'we' could look at a cheaper way of doing things, it wasn't as if you weren't being polite and helpful etc. Would surely be worth setting up a 'costume bank' to pass on and recycle costumes once children outgrow them.

I'd definitely be looking for a new dance school for next term!

Poppy9

You were lucky it was only one costume. When my daughter was doing ballet and tap age 3-6 at their annual show they once had 6 costume changes. The outfits ranged in price from £5 to £25 each plus they were expected to have new shoes and socks. Worst still the older girls 12+ costumes cost £200. Then you have to buy tickets to watch them perform and pay for extra practice lessons. In addition everytime they do an exam they need new costume/leotard and satin ballet shoes and usually double lessons for weeks before which all have to be paid for. I could never understand why they had to new shoes/clothes for exams.

My daughter went to 2 different ballet schools. The first one for just a few months because she wound me up. You had to buy the ballet shoes from her but I pointed out they were faulty - the stitching was opening. She got all narky with me and told me that she would never be a ballerina as she was too flat footed. I bought shoes in town and once the term which I had paid for was ended moved her to another dance school.

Luckily she became bored with the lessons and moved on to Gymnastics and drama. Gym is cheap just £2.50 per week PAYG drama bit pricey but not so expensive on shows/costume front.

I think ballet teachers live on another planet where the everyone lives in a Tutu!

filigree_2

I know this is easy for me to say because I don't have to act on it but...

I would tell the teacher that £27 for a flipping tshirt and ribbons is extortionate. I would like to see an invoice from her suppliers as proof that she even spent that much! Tell her that as an adult woman running a professional business she shouldn't hide behind Mummy's skirts when she hits a snag, and that the mature approach would be to phone you to arrange a convenient time for a chat about the issues. Finally, that after being subjected to a torrent of abuse from Mommy Dearest, you are unhappy about entrusting your daughter's welfare to a family who are clearly barking mad.

Seriously though, it sounds like the relationship has broken down and I would be worried that the teachers' attitude would rub off on your little girl. I'm sure she'd be very upset if someone made snide remarks to her about the money issues.

If I were you I would find another ballet class, AND tell the teachers why.

mountainofdebt

No body else may have complained to the teachers but I bet not everyone was dancing with joy at the cost!

(sorry couldn't resist that one!)

eml_3

Thanks to all of you - you made me feel much better about it! I tried to speak to the teacher today after the class - I apologised for inadvertantly upsetting her and said that I wished she had spoken to me rather than getting her mother to ring me. She then started going on about how awful it was that I was complaining about the price. Honestly - the whole family must be bonkers! Anyway, I pointed out that I was entitled to my opinion and if they had spoken to me and explained why the costumes cost that much, I would have been much happier, rather than phoning me up to have a go at me, which was only going to get me upset as well.

It turned out that a few other parents had complained and all of them were muttering about it in the waiting room. It is settled, as soon as this term is over, DD will be moving to another class!! I had no idea of the crazy world of ballet - guess I am going to be encouraging an interest in gymnastics instead!

culpepper

My daughter was going to drama classes once a week which she really enjoyed.The first year they had a 'production' at the local liesure center and my daughter had 2 whole lines to say.She was thrilled.
Unfortunately, the tickets were such mad prices that we never got to see her perform. The next year the teacher decided it was going to be a 'proffessional' production with proper auditions. She charged the kids to come to the audition with no guarantee of being in the play (mine did not go) then charged for the 'rehearsal workshops' leading up to the play itself.
One of the boys asked "if its proffessional we get paid right?" ,Wrong! it was only a 'proffessional style' production.
The drama group runs as a registered charity! Non profit making apparently,which I assume means, once the owner has taken her cut, given the pittance to the helpers and paid rent, there is nothing left. One thing that really noticed was the website which has nothing on it but how much it costs,where and how to pay.
DD no longer goes to drama as she couldnt guarantee to actually get to do any acting!

one-non-blonde

eml wrote:

My 5 yr old goes to ballet classes and they are doing a show in the summer. We were originally told that costumes would be no more than £25, and being as they cost around £10 last time, I thought no more of it. Then last week, we got a letter saying that the price was £27 and a cheque was required by the next lesson, which was in 2 days time. DH hit the roof and I moaned a lot, especially as the costume consists of a pinafore, white t shirt and hair ribbons. And they will be on stage for about 2 minutes.

When my daughter has done dancing shows all of the costumes have been hired and the parents pay the few pounds hire charge for each. I don't know where in the country you are but we're certainly not spoilt for choice with theatrical costumiers here so it must certainly be possible in other areas! I would imagine though that the dancing teacher can't be too fussy and has to adapt what they happen to have in the right sizes and quantities.

When my 3 sisters and I did dancing shows (we all did tap, ballet, modern, highland, etc) our mum had to make all the costumes and each of us would be involved in at least 6-8 dances - this included proper satin ballet tutus but fortunately not the kilts! As a lot of the other parents couldn't/wouldn't sew she would also have to make an awful lot of the other kids costumes too. Stress levels were often high in our house! :eek:

As for new shoes for ballet exams... I was told it was because the shoe has to fit perfectly to show the feet to their best advantage. Unfortunately this means they have to be very slightly too small as when the toes are pointed you don't want the end of the pump flapping about spoiling the effect.

Davidboy

Oh dear eml, I think in future years you may have a few shocks coming your way. Both my daughters have been to ballet classes from age 3 to 17. They have gone thro' lots of grades and shows. Costumes have always been expensive, last show I think for both of them we spent around £150 - £200. Three different costumes as they do 3 different types of ballet. That does not unclude the "extra" lessons to learn the routines, another £80!!

Then each grade exam, goes up every grade, but cost from £20 to the last one was grade 7 and £45. Each time we go to the ballet shop you can say goodbye to £100 for shoes, pointe shoes, leotards etc. Pointe shoes are £35!!

Then of course there are the lessons themselves, both our girls did, ballet, jazz, pointe. Each had it's own lesson, so bills were £300 per term.

We have always been broke, trying to afford it, but when you see the enjoyment they get out of it, it has been worth it. That lump gets in your throat at every show!!!

If you think ballet is a cheap option forget it. My eldest daughter has now given up as she is off to uni this year, (yes we will still be broke affording that!!) my youngest daughter now only does Ballet, so our bills have reduced dramatically, thank goodness.

So £27, is nothing to what you will be paying should she carry on. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

D