I think my son (8) is Dyslexic - how do I talk to him about this?

nigem

We paid for an Ed Psych assessment privately when my child was 8. It showed the positives, a very high IQ, and the difficulties with writing and reading rate. That meant she stopped feeling 'thick' (her words) and had a reason for specific difficulties. Self esteem soared.


This assessment allowed for extra time in exams in secondary school GCSE and A level particularly. Another one was done by the University and came out with nearly identical results, 15 years later.


Was worth every penny, and she liked the label of dyslexic and therefore not stupid.

Mojisola

pollypenny wrote: »

Do the Ed Psych has also run an IQ test on all the teachers in the school? :cool:

I'm pleased that your son was diagnosed, but that's a sweeping statement and unlikely.

You didn't know the teachers.

Seanymph

He will almost certainly have all sorts of ideas and worries - your hiding it, fudging the answers, not being open - he'll be picking up on allt hat and feeling even more self conscious because he'll think you are ashamed too.

Tell him for goodness sake.

Be frank.

Tell him you don't understand it, but you are finding it out.

Tell him he is brilliant and you know he has great ideas and a clever brain and you need to help him SHOW that he is clever and brilliant to the teachers - and you aer getting help to make sure that happens.

My daughter got a diagnosis at 17 finally - she got antsy for a year and didn't want to be 'stupid' - now she's at uni doing biomedicine and is taking all the help being offered. Because it isn't being offered because she's 'stupid' but because it levels the playing field so she gets a fair crack at it just the same as all the other kids.

Push for it - tell him the truth, and let him know it isn't something shameful - be open and honest with him. He will have to deal with it if it's his thing, you can only help him.

MadDogWoman_2

There are lots of ways of helping you son once his diagnosis is confirmed.

I have a nephew who is severely dyslexia, he has one to one support at secondary school.

My husband was diagnosed at 35, and using this system finally learnt to read at the age of 43, we'd tried a few other ways first but this really clicked for him.

Tanswell88

Be honest with him.
Being dyslexic doesnt mean you are labelled thick or have no potential anymore. Some of the richest people in the world are dyslexic.

I was diagnosed at 16 after being told I was just 'slow' and 'unable to spell' - That wasn't the case for me at all.

ivylinn

Like your son I fell outside the need for extra help group.
By the age of 9 my handwriting was awful, my spelling was awful, I tried to put my ideas on paper but they didn't come out right. It was upsetting, embarrassing and extremely frustrating. :mad:

I was very lucky to have a teacher who thought something must be wrong as I wasn't behind in any other way. The school could only fund help for the worst cases, so she decided to help me and two other students at lunchtimes.
Without her we would have spent our entire time in school not failing badly enough for help, but not succeeding either. We all started high school in a much better position and I am so thankful to her.

I didn't have a formal diagnosis until the age of 19 at which time I volunteered for a study to see if there was any connection between attraction to creative studies, above average IQ and dyslexia. We were selected for the study as the minimum course requirements were 6 GCSE's at grade C or higher.

The best result would be him getting the extra help he needs. At the very least a formal diagnosis will alert people within the education system to the fact he is neither lazy or stupid and give him more time when it comes to taking exams when he is older.

I would be honest with him as it could really give his self esteem a boost to know there is a reason why he finds some things more challenging.

Saying that other things may come very easily to him because of how he processes information.

emsywoo123

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

If anybody is worried about a 'label' being applied to their child, I'd like to point out that a diagnosis is the best way to protect them; it opens doors to additional help or even just acknowledgement that their learning needs have to be taken into consideration. And the earlier that comes, the better.


If I were in the situation, I think I would scrape together every penny to get that assessment/diagnosis sooner, rather than wait for my kid to be left behind because other kids have additional behavioural issues making them stay most prominent in the staff's minds.

If I could thank this 100 times I would.

My sister is/was dyspraxic, not that we had ever heard of it 30 years ago, and her school days were a misery. Frighteningly high IQ, sharp and intelligent as anyone you could meet, with the co-ordination of a unicycling giraffe. After 12 pints.

Her childhood was hindered with rudeness and sneering - until a laptop at A level unlocked it all. No more judgement of her handwriting, all her ideas presented legibly. She went on to achieve a really strong degree in IT and Artificial Intelligence.

DD (10) showed signs, and I arranged a private assessment where her dyspraxia was confirmed. Her school life has been a revelation. That "label" has saved her misery, and afforded her compassion and support. Not a free ride, but empathy.

As others have said, honesty is key. Explanation at an understandable level.

Good luck, and plenty of support here if you need it.

Bennifred

I would also urge an early diagnosis to save years of misery - it is the key to accessing help. My DS3 was diagnosed (privately - the school refused to recognise that he had a problem - they said he was "slow") with dyslexia and dyspraxia at 8 years old. His IQ was measured as the average for a 14 year old. He was so happy to find out OFFICIALLY, not just us telling him he wasn't "thick", it worked wonders on his self-esteem.

Life hasn't been easy for him, but he was determined to work hard to overcome his difficulties and he is now in his final year of a History degree! We are so proud of him.....:)

aeb_2

zippybungle wrote: »

Last time I saw the School Doctor she said he would have to see an Educational Psychologist to get a Dyslexia diagnosis.

However, the School have told me that the Psychologist only comes to school once per term and then the teachers decide which children in the School have the greatest 'need' to see him/her. The last time the Psychologist came, my son was not picked as being the most in need by the Teachers.

I have no idea about the 'SEN' register I'm afraid

Hi, I used to be a SENCO and unfortunately the SENCO at your sons school is correct, it is exactly how the system works (although in the authority I worked there were only 2 meetings a year to discuss cases to put forward)
However, a GP can refer a child to see an EP via CAMHS. Ask the school doctor if she can do this. If she can't then go to the GP armed with as much information as possible. Meet with the SENCO to get a school point of view. Write it all down and hand it over to the GP. The form they complete has the same sections to fill in as the form the school would use (in my area it did). The GP can complete the form easily and fully. This way it is likely to to get a positive result at the CAMHS meeting when cases are discussed.

If you son has been referred to an outside agency (school doctor) then he should be at SA+ on the SEN register. This means he should have some sort of plan in place to accommodate his additional needs. At the very minimum this means adults who work with him should be aware.

cymrumam

We gave my son a book called Tom's special talent which explains about dyslexia and read it with him and it helped.

We also went with colour optometry which transformed him